The Video Sampler

3.30.2006

March 30, 2006

Katie 'hard' at work in STAT 108 Lab. Katie laughing for real when I tell her it' s not a picture it's movie. I note that this method really captures 'real smiles' I can even take a frame from 'fake' smile and compare the two. Hows that for Journal Side Effects? I think I should call those that. It's just a bunch of numbers now. This slide is all numbers and that means we have left English completely behind. That means everythings just that much harder to see. Assembly man. Yikes. I was working hard on some wiring when I heard Julies voice and looked up and there she was. Whoa what I suprise. I got up and ran over with my camera. She makes gesture of 'my gosh Chris it's not that amazing' But I know it is. Paul programs for the PIC chip. The microprocessor class I should have been in but my schedule forbids it. Sadie says no picture. I eat with friends at Ricos to celebrate the three day weekend. Liz catches me in the mirror as I snap this show to show that I am indeed getting all these images myself. Kristina kept telling me that I was doing a good job not looking like I take the pictures. It's like I have some stalker that follows me around. I'm told. I was wondering what the cake sitting on the D street Kitchen table was for. I was there at the momment it was being delivered to Kristina. Cool. She seems happy. Just relaxing in the dorm. Rap guys. They were in the Quad earlier. Good stuff. Ellie and Bonnie 'kick it' at the rap show in the 'J'

March 30, 2006 Thursday

~technically 11:27 on prev day ~
All these time things are getting to me because
I have to post this before I write that and it's
a hassle.
Regardless I noticed I need those 2 to 3 hours between
10 pm and 1 am to conclude a day. Figure what I've done,
and what I have to do for the next day. It's crucial
for the smooth running of my life. I notice when I miss
this important processing time my life feels erratic
and things tend to feel like they are getting away
from me.

10:37 PM
I began my jounral this year in a plain ASCII text
file. I told myself that I was going to use it
as a temporary place before I write my own software
for looking after the files. ... It's been
a long time and I'm still using this 'temporary' file.
But lately.. as I look over the last month. The month
that I began to use an online web logging service
held a new vantage point on my journaling.
I have the capacity to place images.
I have the capacity to capture video and place it.
I may still be using this plain text file but all
this extra stuff is so much more vibrant and adds
an extra dimension to reviewing the life of the past
month. I have nearly 23000 words this month.
There's something about being able to just scan over
all the images that really helps the memory.
Much more so than the just reading the text.

I notice that when people ask me how my day went or
how yesterday when I'm inclined to say, "It's all
written down" No one has to go and look but somehow
once I made all the information availableavailable in some form
I didn't see the point in speaking the things any more.
That is a very strange side effect.

I saw Joy today and she mentioned that she had read
yesterdays entry. I wasn't sure what part of the entry
her mind was emphasizing on. I began to talk about
information current to me. She keeps going I know.
She's heard it before but I've been deprived of the
chance to speak it verbally to her. I noted this
was also strange. It was like I wanted to tell her
and I kept talking and she keep saying 'I know' but
I wanted to just speak it. The fact she read up already
deprived me of my usual in person story telling.

I note that these are to sides of the same coin.
If I don't feel like talking about my day it's
"read the blog" if it's I want to talk about things
they say "I've heard that already"

These are very strange side effects indeed.

Today? What happened today?
Today, Thursday is my long day. I woke up and went to
take my Arch. Test. I think it went mostly well.
I'm glad and not very surprised. Then I had to go
directly to STAT lab. I have to catch up on an old lab
as well. But that went mostly well though I'm starting
to not understand some basic things. I sat there
listening to things I've already heard and noted
how much more freely I can re think about them.
Vastly different experience than I am used to.

Usually we get down with lab early and that's the time I
manage to go eat. So I did. And that's where I found
Joy and sat down with her for a short while to talk
and eat before I had to rush to Computer Building lab.
I made substantial progress and now when I come back on
Tuesday (hopefully with homework Done) I will just
be debugging programming. I did all the hardware.. carefully.
...
Wiring this.... it's a headache. I realized while I walked
out afterward that it was on par with doing multiplication
of 2 digit numbers in your head. When I tried to do that
earlier this month I kept having to remind myself of this
number than that number. Then remember what operation to do
then I'd forget the previous numbers and have to start reminding
myself.
Wiring is similar. I have pin numbers, and locations on the board
and tiny little text. And then I have to remember where this wire
goes and strip it. And then I have to keep counting pins and
look at the schematic and be 99% sure that I"m connecting what
I'm suppose to be connecting. It's a mess. But once I get into
it enough I gradually relax into the rythm. It's just always
hard at first. Painfully hard sometimes. I note that I as
well as others have moments where you just sit there...
and stare at the mess of wires going... ahh not this again.
Your mind struggles to turn off in order to avoid the mental
hoops it's about to have to jump through. And all the while
it's always ALWAYS better to spend 10 extra minates to get
it right the first time because if it doesn't work than the
problem could be hiding anywhere on a board with hundreds
of potentially flawed connections.

BUT after that class... I walk out in a daze and decided to
walk all the way down to D street despite the fact it is
drizzling. I find Sadie and Louis there. And we all go to
Ricos. I play guitar a bit. They give me a ride onto campus
where I visit Kristina and Liz. And Linda shows up to give
her a cake. I think to myself that was that cake from earlier
and now I'm in the area where it's being dished out. Aren't I
lucky?
After which I'm walking down the hill find rappers in the
'J' and Ellie and Bonnie there. What a surprise.
Then I walk home and tend to those homely things that
are required for the clean and efffecient running of my
life.
That includes the journal by the way.

3.29.2006

March 29, 2006

March 29, 2006 Wednesday 9:40 PM
Capturing the day requires time each night. It requires a 
substantial amount of time each night and that means getting
back in early enough to settle down and write, post and think
about the day. If that doesn't happen than an entry doesn't
happen. I know this.

I have homework to do. Well, a bit more studying. The problem 
lately is that I keep forgetting what work I have to do. I lost
a lot of my focus recently. I think part of the reason was the
time that was taken up by Kristinas Birthday Dinner and the rest
of D street yesterday. (It was one of the days I didn't get to write 
due to not getting back sooner)
I'm at the end of the month and I have inklings to review and 
summarize the whole month. Now that requires some time. But I'm 
curious. 

Reviewing today? I attempted to visit the science class that Joy
'would' have been at but she wasn't there. Emotion? Sad. Minor
disappointment as it always is. But I felt a bit weird about
going back again so soon. I tired going to a computer lab to 
work on my PHYX 316 programming assignment. Not much luck other
than verifying that the tools run in the labs. 

After needed to borrow Joy's USB Key for this project and the hassles
that come up in telecom lab I decided it was time to invest.
I walked to the bookstore after my somber sitting on the library steps.
Somber? That was because the rest of the movie I was trying to watch 
on campus 'Empire of the Sun' wasn't working. The disk was bad. 
My mood is low energy but my thoughts roamed as usual. I kept getting
minor self imposed jolts or longings to think of and work on something
exciting again. No luck there. Nothing special came to mind during
the whole day. It's like there are moments when I sit in the computer lab
and think, "it would be cool to have a so and so sort of project to work on
right now" but I don't have any current great ideas so it remains just
a sorrowful thought. Ah, the things I could be working on. Tsk. Tsk.

After I find the DVD is busted I sit on those steps. The cold wind ushers
me into a warmer location and that's when I decided to walk to the 
Bookstore to invest in a memory stick for my classes. I stand in front
of the various sizes and look at the prices. Turns out the best deal is to 
buy the largest size. The cost per MB is the lowest.
I leave with my new USB stick after standing in a one person line listening
to a conversation over Photoshop. 

It's basically class time by the time I'm through there so I hustle over
to SH something or other and sit at a desk with sunlight streaming onto it.
After-which I talk with KJ. 
She tells me she is a bit sad that she won't be seeing me anymore due to her
inevitable leaving town to pursue more worldly goals i.e. non school world 
stuff. I know this is what she has always wanted so I smile and feel
glad for her but at the same time a bit down. She wants to hang out more
before she leaves mid summer. 

I walk with her to the front door of her place than start approaching Joy's
apartment. I intend to see why Joy wasn't at Science today. 
Platypus and her boyfriend are downstairs and she walks up to call Joy out
from upstairs. You have to take off your shoes before walking around in this
place so I'm standing on a rug at the foot of the stairs. 
Joy comes out followed by a guy I do not recognize. 
After conveying a bit of information back and forth I leave there with 
a twinge of emotion. 
I try to shake it but that uncomfortable appetite curving feeling remains.
Though after I walk all the way accross town it begins to let up.
More like I place my mind on more Earthly matters and start studying for
my test tommorrow. 

I wanted to make note of the fact I spoke to a lot of random strangers today.
What gives? Well, there was one point some people were playing frisbee and 
I picked it up off the grass and through it back to someone. This was after
it nearly went to me. 
Another individual riding  a bike hops it up 3 steps and does a wheely for a
while then expresses distaste when he comes off it. I ask what he was trying
to do and he replies jump off the steps on the other side. 
Have I become someone whom talks?
What happened? 
There's a more mildly strange occurrence where Nancy (the Biz Teacher) walks
by and someone asks me if she is a professor. I don't look at the person but
go "yeah" with my face staring forward not seeming to care about the world.
Strange. this can't be me do I act like this? Is spending all this extra
time on campus doing something to me? Or is knowing and interaction with 
people lately changing how likely I am to respond to outside events.

As for my entry tonight I think those are the main issues. 

At lunch I sit in the depo with Julie and Laura. April comes by to visit. We all know her but from different places. Laura (if I'm spelling that right) points to the camera for some reason that I can not remember. Later, I study at D street while Julie makes dinner for her boyfriend. I find this picture on the frig. Aw Emes. While the sun sets I walk with KJ. We speak of what changes are to come. She is leaving. The KJ is leaving and I am once again reminded of the brevity of time I share with people up here.

3.28.2006

March 28 2006 Late Entry

March 28, 2006 Tuesday 
Though it is techincally the next day I'm writing this.
I remember one of the thoughts of yesterday was 
about the Computer Science Conference I went to in the middle
of the day. We were all told of an abundence of Joy oppertunties
out there. I didn't know what to make of it because I hear
conflicting things all the time. 
The day was going nicely.
And when I got home I got these calls about Krintinas Birtday.
Images of the day in no particular order. My computer has finally come to life in the form of an honest to god calculating machine. It runs programs and can be programmed like anything. Yes. Now I just have to work on robustness.

3.27.2006

Genuine Moments

March 27 2006 3:24 PM 
Thinking You Know
3:25

To think you know when you do not is the great problem.
She said she didn't like the activity because she thought
she could learn nothing new from it. Ah. 
If you knew where you could learn and where you couldn't
learn then you must already know where and what you will
know and hence know already. That's impossible how can one
decide that there is nothing new to learn from this activity
before one attempts it. An open mind is required to learn the 
most from anything and everything in a day.

I know this because I've personally experienced or 
re experience Pre Calculus. Inside of the second round
with the supposedly same subject material I found and filled
numerous holes I had in my knowledge of the subject. 
I was never a person to believe that a class was worthless
based on the fact I had had it before. I just walk into every
situation with a mind ready to see what is the same and what
is different, and what I can do with what ever is presented.
3:30 PM
Again, I sit in a lab computer this time with out the emotional
weight I had the other time. I now know and accept the 
middles of Mondays and Wednesdays to have this large void of 
classes and while I may be tired sometimes it is good time
to have free for people are met, and ideas are thought.
I mentioned the time savings in the non walk before. 

With this particular day I spent a bit of it eating lunch
with Mandy and Joy in the 'J' It was a bit scheduled and I
remarked to myself how the simple act of scheduling plays on 
my nerves in such an interesting way. I have a love hate 
relationship with scheduled time. The downfalls I observed
were well illustrated this last weekend when things did not
go on when I thought they would. It can dampen an otherwise
peaceful and clear afternoon. However, I painfully recognize
the benefits when pulling off some large group endeavor.
Say.. movie production? yeah. 

It reminds me about the difference between a weekend day
and a school day. The scheduling is the difference. The fact
I will not get to wake up with a full night of sleep.
I'm not tired right now however... or maybe a little bit
it won't stop me from doing things. 

3:36 PM
I came to this lab from the Science building where I sat in 
during Joy's science class. I felt a bit awkward there but
the instructor didn't mind me being there and it was interesting
to sit in a class where I really didn't have to care about the
activities. It was like I was free to explore with out the stress
factor. More importantly I saw how everything else was presented.
There is more to write about this later but it's hot in the lab
and I know like 5 of the people around me and I'm not in a talking
mood so I best be off.


Genuine Moments Today was full of those. And even though it is late and I have earlier classes tommrow this day is very much worth writing about. ~technically written on the next day in the AM's~ Genuine Moments Today was full of those. And even though it is late and I have earlier classes tomorrow this day is very much worth writing about. It's in those truly real moments that real life is occurring. The emotion, the truth, the story is to complex to be captured in a single frame but if I were to pick on I'd say this was it. Only a slice, a sliver of the feeling to be there in person with someone feeling the emotion and the situation. To be real and alive is something.. sometimes the only thing one can aspire to. I enjoyed replaying those moments of my day. Even if I was just the one watching as real things were happening. This time I uploaded all the images first rather than typing first. It's different. I take enough pictures sometimes that I feel someday I'll just let them tell the story for once. No words required. I might title the entry No Words Required. ...Someday. Much has happened. I was tired for large cross section of the day as well. But wouldn't you know... I'm not as tired right now. I still have a shower to get to.. I feel the rest of my work can wait. The day was long but fulfilling. One can only dream life could go on like this. ... though there were aspects that had be a bit... well I got that scratchy feeling again. Like my soul was trapped and I was in one place but felt somehow I needed to be else where doing more. I could retrace the steps of today but someone it doesn't seem important to record. At the very end of it I got to spend time with Joy and it was Joyous.

Eating lunch with Joy and Mandy and others in the 'J'. We walk up stairs after eating. Mandy has to go home to get ready for her trip which involes flying out of here to a funeral.
I was invited to join Joy in her Science Activity. I got to watch as people discovered density and stuff. Here she is weighing pennies on a very sensitive scale. Next, a cool bath to find the volume. The instructor looks on with smiles as students begin to measure and cacluate. Just look at em all workin there. Aparently I'm noticed. My presence sticks out like a sore octopus. They tell me these coins were not coated by electroplating. I'm puzzled.
Later after I type in the computer lab I visit the depo. John hangs in the Depo. Quite the activist he be. Amanda the only other person I know with Tourette Syndromne. As a matter of fact she is part of the reason I was able to meet Joy.
After class I get picked up at library circle by Joy and Mandy. They are going to the airport and I'm along for the ride because Joy and I are going to see a lecture about the universe tonight and we are also taking care of Mandy's car. It just happened and I was there to capture just a piece of the moment. That's no where near all of it but it's something. Mandy was leaving on her trip. They realized I had them on camera and posed. But I know I caught that real moment before.
Only... we arrive to late to the lecture and the room is so packed you can't get in. Joy is sad. But I have a feeling my presence helped cheer her a little bit.

March 27, 2006 12:16 AM

March 27, 2006 12:16 AM
The day hasn't really ended or begun actually.
I just needed to write some text here in order
to test a new function with my blog service provider.

3.26.2006

Not Today

March 26, 2006 Sunday 11:51 PM Not Today
The day began slowly. Not long after I woke up Joy
called and I was talking to her with sleep in my voice.
Today was going to be the day I was going to get to see
the stump house. But....
It didn't happen. And I was sad. The interesting part was
I captured the moment when she said it was off on iSight.
It was after I started playing one guitar melody and 
then another more sadly after the call. It was strange
re watching the moment not more than a minate after it happened.
I noted how it felt like a much longer time than it was.

After that I talked with Joy asking her about science homework
that needed to be checked. She had asked me to come over
and check her work. She hadn't done it but I came anyway.
I came with my new buff camera. But before that I used it
to record a teleconference with my parents. I dreamt of
doing that for a while and I smile thinking about how I had
gotten it. Very cool. 

Anyway, I spent much of the night doing video test capturing
at Joy's place while she cleaned and then we went to have
dinner together at Phil Cheese Steak.. to which I find out that
they are not a big chain. That means I can prob... well perhaps
I'll have a chance to film there. It's a very good location
and dripping with potential. 

I'm glad the day picked up the way it did. It was pretty
sad to have something I was looking forward to not happen.



I called D street wondering where Emily was. She was there and no longer interested in todays planned endeavers. I paused for a moment after the call while wondering what I should do. And thinking odd of the fact that I had the playing, the phone call and then the moment after on tape. It was strange to see those few minates of my life replayed right after it happened. Eerie in a way. Playing guitar sadly after hearing from Emes.
I walk out later and find Daniel Walking back. I find the coincidence amusing. It's fairly likly considering he lives upstairs from me.
TeleChating with Family. It cheered me up. Even the sunsets look better with my camera. I enjoy them that much more. Congrats to Joy. She is one of the first to get to be shot with the improved capturing technology.

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