The Video Sampler


Stay in Today and [Movie]

A picture of things to come? Perhaps, I wrote and re wrote this script so there is a good chance it will get made eventually. I like the ideas it exibits and as soon as I figure out where and when to do it. It will be done... with hope.

April 30, 2006 Sunday 12:50 PM

Apparently someone some where out in the middle of the
States visits this blog a lot. Who is that person? Hey, person
e mail me. I'd like to hear from you.

Regardless, I've been occupied for the past 24 or so hours and now
I'm just getting back into the "Oops I have to spend the rest of the
weekend finishing all my academic work" And there is quite a lot
of it. Though it feels good to be waking up and typing again.
I need to exercise patients with my current work. I've basically
got to re learn all these things about electromagnetism before I feel
confident enough to walk back into Physics Lab and conduct some sort
of 'real' experiment. I've been floundering about looking for a foot
hold so far.

Let's see a Cross Section of what I have to do...
Simple Stats
Statistic Homework is Due Monday. There is only 3 assignments
left and I already have a B+ in the class.

Computer Arch
Computer Architecture (What goes on inside the box?) class
Has me doing an assignment on pipelining.
That's due this Tuesday. Prob, the last assignment before
the final.

TeleCom Writing
Telecommunication Class Group Project needs to be written.
That's due This Friday May 5 So I had better write a lot then
let the rest of the group add what they will. As long as I put
a lot of work up front I'll feel better about myself.

Prog Lang
Study for Programming Languages Final.
We are covering Python. The language I once wrote about
coming home to. It was in a text where I dicussed what
I felt 'real programming' was all about. And after thinking
it through I realized I wanted some sort of language I could
just cope up algorithms in. A scripting language fit the bill,
for it was quick, easy to use, and boasted lots of added
functionality through libraries that could work on multiple
platforms. I still don't know how I feel about it requiring
white space but I understand the concept behind it.

I'd feel a lot better once I have my Physics lab all in
order. Hence, all the going back to study old physics
I learned last summer. So it's been nearly a year since
I've looked at all the stuff again and I'm really feeling
the mental stretch when I try to re apply what I learned.
I dropped the LED message deal because it was just to
mechanically complicated.
I'm in favor now of the Muscle Wires robot.
The measuring gravity with frequency
Recording and Play back from A Guitar.
(can I play those strings?)
And the constant speed Motor deal.

As I figure them out I have to get busy knowing this is
my second to last week to work on all of them. That's
why I'm getting anxious about the whole matter.

End Cross Section

I mention lots of topics that I don't explain fully. I know
of a female whom returns to visit my Blog a lot and I fail to
explain out everything because this place functions as more of
a location for footnotes on ideas and such. I suppose that if
I'm feeling up to it I should take more time to explain
some of the ideas so that they are more accessible to more people.
It would be nice practise to.

11:24 PM
I'm having trouble uploading the movie(s) I made today.
Don't know what the problem really is. I do know that not
in the history of my entire life have I been able to settle
myself down enough to work on academic matters several hours
straight. .. unless I counted that time I spent the whole weekend
stuck to my telecom book in a mad effort to pass the class for
which I am almost completely certain that I am failing.
It is the one I am resigned up for next Fall. And it is the
dagger in my side.

mhmp before I re tend to matters I should update the previous
entries as well. Short as they are.

The logo I created for these new Physics problems. It has a history to the previous series of projects I attempted. I'd like to say I've come a ways since those old days of trying to teach myself calculus in order to solve certain problems. A frame from the movie I shot today. With out the white balence [you can always click on images to see the full size] Now with white balence. The difference in mood is what I point to. Gotta have that blank expression on my face for these images tests you know.
Movie Here's a Movie

And with Commentary


April 29, 2006

April 29, 2006 Saterday 11:51 PM
I'm back in. But not about to write about today.


April 28, 2006

April 28, 2006 Friday 9:45 PM

After thinking hard about physics for a solid couple of hours
this little movie I found eased my brain...

note: if you link to a movie hosted by youtube your location
shows up on their page. Interesting.

I'm al frazzled. All frazzled. And I had thought that finally
getting to do my own projects would have me relaxed. But I have
a huge deficent of points and I need to win them back... mmm
I really wish I hadn't pulled out those busgive place holders.
I would be fine with myself right now. 

Though I have a strange urge to want to explain those equations
I posted yesterday.... I already spent much of today trying
to edit a birthday movie for SadieBird. But it won't export
and it's getting me stressed. Welp, it was the best I could do 
for now and if she needs to come to see it than so be it because
I've got to take care of other things.


Mountain of Ideas

I understand the principle of Chaos. And I was looking for a way to represent the change given the small init variances in the original values. This note of today dates back to the thinking I was doing while waiting at the air port. I was on to something.... I was.

April 27, 2006 Thursday Mountain of Ideas
5:04 PM back at home
One of the first things I come accross upon
entering into the front door is Daniel coming
down to say I really need the 1/2.
I had cont. to think about it. And with out much
other words I walked in my room got out the physics
book turned to the page I had book marked and had
him read the little section about it.
Basically, "once were in approximation land these things
don't matter so much" And I further thought about the fact
that picking the equations that had fewer operations might
be more efficient. But this issue still doesn't explain
how one could predict error as compared to the 'real world'

I did agree that that was the way the world worked .. but
this was still an approximation regardless.

He didn't say much more other than shrugging while walking
back up the stairs.

I noted it was strange to have this conclusion encounter
though I know I'll be figuring more with this idea later.

===back in lab earlier==
Someone says lab is a waste of time.

But I remark that regardless of location or situation
the time is what you make of it.
"Must ye be told what to do in order to be doing?"
"Can you not use your time regardless?"
What makes some people more productive than  others?
And what makes that matter?

~ later
Don't tell me a day can't end with a mountain of ideas.
They were diverse ranging from the lack of constructive
criticism on line, to simulation technology, to
relationship discussions, and analyzing chaos using algebraic
methods. Also, the beginnings of the plan to achieve my
new CSP Projects.

It was hard to leave the place. A friend requested that I
accompany her. I felt bad not being able to the previous night
so I told her I'd finish my STAT homework and be right over.
I knew I had much more to tend to. But I also really wanted
to see her and I knew that with all my extra work I wouldn't
be having time to really see her before she left for the summer.
Sang softly to myself while walking home. It was the song I sing
for her. I knew that someday I would have to get all the words down
so that we could both sing together. That would be all that much
more special.

It's good to know Joy is feeling a little better than before.
She was scaring me. And now that I know of those things I won't
be the same. I see now.

It's good that the physics is turning over to my side but now
I sat in lab today at a loss. I tried demoing the Muscle wires
to myself. I got them to work as I knew I would and floundered
about trying to grasp how I was going to achieve things.
Ultimately I left feeling tired and needing food and a nap before
I would cont. with my thinking. Upon getting home .. well
I think I wrote about it.

Short Thoughts from the page I took notes on....

Lack of Constructive Criticism on line.
I find that there are always negative comments about a guitar movie
I posted a while back. I knew it wasn't that great sounding but
apparently that deserves much more violently descriptive terms as
offered by many of those on line folk. Though I will prob. take
that movie down the issue raises the questions behind critique.
I 'should' accept critique but only something constructive.
Most of the time, however, I try to disable comments. They just won't
go away with that movie service.

Economic Systems And the Marginal Propensity to Do work
I had flash backs. Back to that econ class I took in my first
semester of college. I remember the explanation in that metaphorical
Gilligans Island example. ... Basically,
It's more efficient for everyone to do what they are best at.
So, if you enjoy your work than your prob. good at it.
For an econ to be most effective everyone needs to do what they are good at.
Therefore, you should do what you love given that that is what your best at
and would allow the econ to be must eff.
The greatest amount of good stuff produced by all the members allow every
member to get more of everything in general.

Have I had enough Computing Education?
Is it time to call it quits? C'mon. I know them.
From bottom up and from top down. I see it all now.
I don't even have many courses left in the major.
I'd be better off figuring out construction methods with IT
classes now. ... but alas my course remains unchanged
for the time being.
I look more forward to the GE.
Knowing that I have learned or am just about to learn what I came

One Could never know...
One could never know what they are giving up when
they refuse to continue to learn.
No one can say, 'That's all I need' But they could say
'that'll be enough for now I'll pick up the rest as I
go along later'

On Physics Approximations
When you deal with approximation many equations 'could' fit because
fit is a give and take in the approximation realm.
What is 'correct'? once everything is an approximation. I only
argue that some calculations will be easier to perform faster than
others. This is important if a large sum of calculations are to be
required for a proper simulation.

"If you could predict error you could fix error"
... sim. note on the approx. ideas.

I started making a list of common hardware errors to watch for.
- power to all chips?
- missing wire?
- part disconnected wire
- backwards bus
- wrong capacitors
- wrong resistors
The symptoms of which .... I should recognize later.

 I note First Emotional Response
Once that first emotional response dies off I can really
evaluate a past argument. I can see it for what it is and
what I take from it. I rue having to keep my temper in check,
but ultimately I handled things better and I understand a bit

 Computers... (mutterings to myself)
They only do math. They do so much math that you don't
even recognize that it is math anymore. It's a movie your
playing back from DVD or a essay your typing.
But it's all math. And ultimately everything can be a procedure
and a number. Amazing.

That was most of the notes. I felt it important to transcribe
them here in order to re visit them later.

Physics lab these days reminds me of the closet lab I had way back when. Ah, those were the days. I felt like I was re-living those moments of my earlier youth when I hooked clips up to things and tinkered about. It's much better because now I get to use the O'Scope. I can see all sorts of things I never could before. By the way.... I'm still making good use of that toy car racing set bought way back when I was interacting with Nicole on a regular basis. Good to know I'm still puting these 'toys' to such good use. I FINALLY found a torque equation for the motor. It's good to know. Finally. It's hard to see but there IS a wire between the two clips. And when I pass current through it to heat it up it contracts. I want to keep my motion as simple as possible so that everything works with the minium about of error. I'm more theory testing based anyway. Keeping things simple is part of the reason I want to stay away from Stepper motors. yesh. Ah... I was gathering up the array of senors I will be deploying in the next two weeks. Hopefully. Wes explains.... some sort of infarad thing. Before. After. We did the old 'calculate the percentage of colored M and M's' in the bag thing. I ordered mine. Isn't it colorful?


April 26, 2006

April 26, 2006 Wednesday 12:48 AM
Why is this so entertaining to watch?
It really prove that you can have all your action in
the dialog.

2:54 PM

I don't now if coming home and getting into an hour long debate
over the extra 1/2 in my simulation algorithm was very relaxing.
... I have learned to quell my rising anger during 'discussions'
more than I ever could before. But don't anyone push me.
I'm not made for those spur of the moment arguments over physics
ideas. Just let me work alone and I'll correspond as I care to do

I'm informed that the land lord finds it amazing that our rent
checks are the only ones split up. I'd say fewer checks over all
are written. The PE and G bill needs to get paid but Daniel
will leave.

... Man ... referring to earlier.. I hate social awkwardness.
And it always stays with me for like 10 minates after the event
unfolds. And then I feel so bad about it. Or like it I just want
to get out of the public eye so I pull down my hat over my eyes
and stop looking around. .. just get me away.

I have to prepare for physics lab. And by that attach something
to a motor. But with what? I wish I had my erector set up here.
That would have been the simplest solution.

It dawns on me I'm not working from any schematic so anything
I produce must all be me... this requires some research. Research
I seem to be delaying myself on.

3:24 PM
No where in this book is there a function of torque depending
on voltage and current. What is that function? Or maybe I should
just figure out what experiment I'm going to run and deal with
that later.

3:58 PM
It's not talking to myself. It's me imaging talking to other
people whom are not there yet. By the way I started an Audio
journal just now. Least that's the thought. Now that I have
a lovable way to recordy crystal audio. I'm all good with it.
I imaged producing a car CD with my musings, music and other
assorted ideas. Nothing special just... the usual.

I could prob record my talking while I write and compare the
to as a sample study. mmm

9:00 PM
I conducted a bit of an experiment today. I went down and spent
about 5 to 8 dollars at Safeway and noted the amount of food I
got. I also noted that 3.28 or so was for a can of chicken
corn soup which is the most filling of all the soups there.
That's only 2 dollars if not less under a standard dish at
a resturant but then I don't even get the 2 liter soda.
.... so I noticed that it's a lot better to make several
smaller trips because I can keep buying the smaller fresher
things like vetchtables which won't go bad to fast because
I'll be eating them on demand. I can make those stir frys

I came back from D street early tonight because I knew I had
to prep for tomorrows lab because it was my own stuff.
This is much much different I know.

I still don't know what to do for Sadies B day and I'm running
out of time. Oh Sadie. Because I don't have time tomorrow really.
mmmmm looks like I will have to resort to a much simpler thing.
Linda brought up the poss. of a Saying Good Bye to Eme's movie.
I thought 'yeah' but I don't have a lot of source footage to use.
Grab a few interviews. Find that towel clip. Some drummer clips.

11:51 PM
I didn't realize it.... Starting to really love someone again.
Just a little bit... because I'm beginning to notice slight
shifts in my feelings. In those tingly sensations that
I hadn't felt in a long long time.

It's great when the program runs the very first time you run it. I mean it just worked. I always seem to just get things to work with python. Me likely. I did this rocket bat a while back. I didn't know it was going to be a rocket bat but as soon as the ears were there I was like, "mmm rocket bat" I should animate it someday.


Social Flare

April 25, 2006 Tuesday 10:04 Social Flare

I like it when my day has just a touch of social flare.
Nothing to involving but just that little extra excitement.
Today it was that chatting a bit while walking and talking
with a few females. And I had conversation contact with
a number more people than I usually do.

Plus, what was exciting was I finally got the Signal Scope to
work (in the first 2 hours of lab) and despite some prodding
by Wes was finally allowed to pursue my own endeavors.
Life just became a lot better.
I feel like it's the second coming of CSP. CSP II if you will.
I spent the rest of lab time at a library computer typing up my
thoughts for what I could try and work out. This Thur and Fri
aught to be a bit different but it takes more preparation on my
part considering I need to earn back lots of points I missed
else where on my incomplete labs. I'd rather make it all up
Another exciting thing to cont. with the Python Trend. I'm been
picking up python where i left off and becoming fascinated
with how it's all done in python.
But today I got a demo of the PIC chip working with PySerial
and another module to present the data to the screen.
A sine wave is sent to the chip it's converted and played back
to the desktop computer. And on the screen.. a sine way appears.
That is cool. I'm in the right place to start getting those
good things to come to me.

Embed system programing looks like a nice cosy job possibility.
I hear that on average between 50,000 and 75,000 dollars a year
can be made that way. And some outliners into the 150,000

But what's better is having that skill is the beginning of much
greater things if I can pull off my own little company. The sorts
of things I could make would be impressive at best.

I've lost the taste for Ricos finally. Though they have cool new
cups. I think I'll just purchase meals on demand from safeway
and prepare them at D street. If I want to continue to go down
and visit the place.

Fixing the Vacuum cleaner or at least attempting the fix the old
vacuum cleaner was fraught with problems. I remarked to myself,
"the debugging never stops" given that I just got down with all
this major debugging in lab.  Ghessh.
One thing, I'd better make all my future system run perfectly.
Because I can not stand the defects. It's going to be hard.

My life sure has changed in these years living here.
In the city between the forest and the sea.

the rest of the night was mostly consumed by reviewing old movies
from back in High School and the first year of college. I found
the old Sadie movie and watched it. And thought if I did a look
back at it and added some extra stuff I could prob make something
.. sort of okay. ... something ....

This is the lastish time I go to Ricos. I have lost my taste for their food. Something was different anyway. And also they had these new to go glasses. Weird. Trying to fix Rosies Vacum cleaner. Liz came home and I got to see her. It had been a while. This isn't a very good picture of the situation by the way. Visiting the house of a friend for tools to cut metal. Person borrowed from not shown. Ah. I sketched out the future LED message sender device. mmmmm Needs work. But I like quick mock ups to gather the first impressions.


Me Likey

April 24, 2006 Monday me likey
~tech 11:41 prev day~

I do not know why I like to think of it. The numerous story lines
that are always going on.
Right now. At the moment tonight. What are they? Could I guess?
Could I say that these plot lines have been going on for so long
that there are no new ones to be told?

There's the cheating boyfriend and the cheating girlfriend.
There's the college guy whom ran out of money and must call
his parents. There are the waring dorm mates whom no longer
can stand one another. There's the consoling friends after
a difficult break up. There's the freshmen girl whom is crying
on the steps of Founders Late at Night. There's the band whom
breaks up after one of the members begins to sell drugs.
There's the good deeds of the friends whom help someone who
had to much to get home. The stories are innumerable.
There's to many to count for each has it's on unique finger print.
People grow up. They learn from new experiences by messing up or
losing their innocents or hurting others in some way either accidently
or on purpose.
People are sometimes mean. Sometimes Happy. Sometimes sad. Sometimes
excited to see their life change while sometimes miserable to know it
will never be the same again.
The common thread of story lines is person in which must play it out.
And in doing so they become changed by it if not by a lot than by some
little bit. There is no change to small for every change however minor
will define us all.
What is your story? Could we every know? If everyone made a decision
to keep track than we could all replay the day. We could all know
what is really going on if everyone is open. it wouldn't be that lonesome
trial run of a life it would be that collective support of a humanistic
society that might .. upon seeing it self in full clarity ... take
aim to stop all the wreckage of human life and reverse the effects of
an ailing present day society.

Could that ever happen?
Those, the others, and more a like are yet to be told.

==== e mail to Pat =====================================
You mean the Green Eye for the Common Gal?
I thought it was reasonably done. But I would
have used open src music to avoid licensing worries.

We would like to film it and
> post it online.  how easy it to get from Hi8? (or
> DV8?) digital video? (you know from the camera) to
> google video?

I take it you meant how Easy is it to get something filmed
on Hi* or MiniDV onto the web via services such as Google Video
and others like it.


I know that Google Vid allows people to mail in physical copies
of tapes to be placed on line. that works well for businesses
and real long features.

BUT if that isn't a desirable option one must convert the
Hi8 into digital form then upload it through the service.

If you have gmail than your already have way there.
Going to
and activating your video account than you download a special
uploader. From which you use to upload the movie.
It can take a real long time also depending on the duration of
the film. I mused about the possibility of burning some of my movies
to CD with higher quality compressions and taking to campus
to use their high speed net for uploading rather than my home

It's a good idea to look at compression Codecs to make everything
quicker and easier for both the end viewer and the upload time.

... did I answer anything? I don't believe I understood the question
in the first place so I just mentioned what I knew from my experience.

Which ... I should mention that Google Video Screens everything which
means that even after uploading it's not there for another week
or more. It's annoying. It's also the reason why I prefer youtube
just to get something up quickly. The internet Archive
allows people to upload movies for free. Their servers are a bit slow
but it's all free. And much more immediate than google vid.

I would upload to a lot of places. The more places the more copies
the better and easier it is on each server.

Oh yeah, if you type "during my break" into a Google search
a link to one of my break movies pops up as the second or third


The last true common platform for
world democracy must remain un hindered by the greed of those whom dare to abuse it.

-from about the Net by Chris Stones

1:13 PM
I found class cancelled. The STAT 108 door was closed. And so I walked
to buy a sandwich ahead of the time I normally do.
And I saw Brent and Melissa getting ready for the Sci test that I
presume Joy is suppose to take as well. ...
Anyway, I'm about to leave when suddenly Colleen shows up.
Her hair is wet and she is tired but she seems happy to see me.
We stop to talk with each other and before long were sitting
eating lunch together. I gave away the first Biz card to her.
I didn't want to be the usual "in your face with my camera" guy
today so no images are here yet but I thought about it the whole
time. That reflex is really solid now.

I found she'll be staying for the summer so I knew the summer
was going to be that much more cool. All sorts of possible future
images flashed through my mind. Those vague movie ideas and poss.
of bike riding to the beach. I'm told that from her place it's
just 5 minates away. I think if I knew people that close I would
def. ride out to the beach more. It's good to have a nearby stop
like that.

I was looking for a place to write about these new events but every
computer lab I found was completely FULL. And so I made some notes
in my note book and came home with them. Not before
I managed to see Sadie and Linda and so followed along with
them for a while. We were in the quad when Lacy (blonde) whom
had recently cut her hair showed up.
I noted to myself I wasn't on very good terms with her.
After having accidently kept the DVD's I borrowed for to long
I felt really bad. And then ... well I've never really been on
good terms with her.
I felt irrelevant while I sat there next to Sadie next to Linda.
Whom she was really talking to.

12:51 PM (around that above time)

My social radar is becoming attuned to all these noticings of
... mmm they don't want me around... or they are not responsive
to my saying hello. Or they don't look like they want to talk
with me... not now nor ever.
... It makes me want to come away from it all sometimes.

I walk back home thinking about the Husk of my Life. The fact that when
I'm gone the body of my work will remain... no longer activly
being thought of but just a husk left behind the way a snail dies
and leaves it's shell. A shell that it builds up over the duration
of it's life. Only to be left behind.
I don't know why I thought of such things as I walked back home
to phone the land lord and deposit the rent forms.

Better call that land lord.
1:23 PM

Don't get the home phone mixed up with the office phone.
I've been told to call the home phone before. So I got

11:31 PM
And when I left for class I got to the bottom of the
street where it just so happened that Emon was driving
onto campus. So i got a ride with her. And she informed
me of her housing problem. She has no place to stay and no
job awaiting for her and no home to go home to.
What is she going to do? It looked like she was on the
verge of tears as we drove down LK Wood. What could I possibly

I left while waving good bye and thanking her. I didn't find
sadie bird at the quad but a while later after doing some
work in the lab on python and Gimp and Blender I Linda showed
up to take my computer and informed me Sadie was upstairs in
the Mac Lab. I went anyway because I had shut down with out
pulling out my key and I wanted to check the files on it.

Sadie walked with me to by a before class snack and outside
of class Amanda dropped by. I reintroduced them to each other.
... after class I walked to Joy's place to deliver the disk
I had made. I rang twice and there was no answer. A variety
of possibilities ran through my head. But I ultimately and sadly
dropped the disk off and left. ... I was about to walk into
Subway but I didn't for some reason. I decided to turn back
and just go home when I saw Joy out walking about. She had spoken
to the lady that lives next door and she told her that a guy
had dropped a book off. (it was no book) I was struck to see
her suddenly. She looked so beautiful to me. I was charmed
instantly and I held her for a moment just holding her and
being grateful for her continuing existence. I had missed her and
I didn't realize how much until that moment.

We hung out and I was glad to get to. We both miss Kassi. I'm informed
that that might be the correct spelling but I"m not sure.
... I mentioned to her that I wanted to do some sort of "hi" movie
to send to her.

...Well, at the end of the night after I tucked Joy in I left
quietly. I decided that I'd visit the cupboard even though
I thought it might be closed. It wasn't. And I suddenly got
to see Shirine. She seemed happy. She hadn't turned her head
to the left in order to see me. I told her about it and she
didn't remember a thing. Yeah, because she hadn't looked to
the left. ... I got permission to put up the diva shot of her.
... now where is that shot?

The day was good. Between coming home settling some housing matters
and recording some nice guitar playing.. I enjoyed the bulk of it.
Even the fact Python was presented in Prog Lang class today.
And I found I got an 81 I needed an 89 but now I just have to figure out
how much to get on the final to pass.... mmm

I got to compliment Rey on that nice nice photo she placed on her
myspace profile. .. whoa. she looks good in that.

And so the day concludes... I love the combo of GiMP and BLENDER
it's delightful to get to draw precisely and then touch up lots of
the work in GiMP. I always liked starting with something like
text in the pre Blender days. Now I start with something I render
in Blender and she what I can do... me likey.
11:44 PM

While taking a break from researching Python I made this using GiMP and Blender. This was the basis of the image I rendered using Blender. The prev was the final result. Joy and I watch over video clips I took of the Kassi Visit. Much enjoyment was had. In this rare instance I snag a image of Daniel sitting down during a telecom class break. He's doing fine in the class and looks to be graduating on time. He'll be moving on to bigger and better things... I think after a stay with his parents until he finds work where ever suits his fancy. Good luck Daniel.
And Shirine!


Relaxin Reflection

April 23, 2006 Sunday 8:10 PM Relaxin Reflection
    There isn't any real reason for why I'm tired. Or was it because I did
just get up from some sort of napish thing. It was earlier when I
decided to walk out. It was after I had fixed ... well taken apart
the printer in order to get my business cards printed. It was the
first time in a long while that I have biz cards to hand out.
The whole "what site is that?" started coming up just enough to make
me want to print  a few and keep them in my wallet. Not to many at
a time. Just enough for the small demand.

    I have a rule. Least I know, that when ever I get a certain way...
A way in which I know not what to do. I decided to walk out. It's
nice out. I don't have any real pressing academic demands and
I know I felt tired but it turned into a relaxing walk in which
I stepped slowly about meandering where ever my minor electrical
pulses took me. Even in this state I stopped in a computer lab
and did a bit of work to test out if I had succeed at giving
myself GIMP and Python and Blender Capability on the school computers.
I think I have. And GIMP, for whatever reason, runs much better
on the lab machines.

    I wonder where Joy is by now. Did they safely arrive? Did she decided
to stay out longer doing a few last things? Did they crash? Or did
she finally drop Kass off and then crashed coming back?
Aye, not that I'm that worried but ... actually know that I realize it
it's  4 hours and 4 hours. If they did leave at 10 than the soonest
Joy could be back tonight would be 6ish? Perhaps later?
It's 8:17 PM.


dang it
Since I took apart my printer I keep trying to put my
feet up but there is no printer so I keep setting them back down
again. I loved having a foot rest while typing. It will take
a while before my feet learn to just stay still.

Business Cards Again. Finally. It was a bit hard to get them considering I needed to take my malfunctiong printer apart to get the paper feed in properly. I can't even put the cover back on. Which is alright considering I love to watch it write the text directly on. It's magic. There was one day a long long time ago. I wrote a lot about the day. And there was a place that looked like this. But all the leaves were yellow and falling off and there were butterflies about. I stood there today. Just remembering that other day and knew I needed to get a picture of this place once more. That entry is on back on the humboldt space in the bio section a link is to the left of this text.. I think.
Images from Past Days
I happened to see a metal chicken one day. Where someone says a plate of dinner someone else says art in the making. It makes me want to throw other weird things into molds and make them metal. It was Friday I think. Last friday when I got to drop by the very end of the girls doing their experiment. I was almost going to be a part of it but I had class. This is one of my favorite shots. ... she left. I remember the way I got to hug her good bye.... aww. Friends.


Kassay's Last Day

April 22 2006 Saturday Kassay's Last Day

I don't know why but I got the idea for 
a bracelet (like the Designated driver bracelet)
but instead of saying Designated driver it says
Designated Liar.

That was while I was over at Joy's place while Kassie
was still visiting. ....
Is it a loss that thinking that I will post these writings
prohibits me from explaining the full range of thoughts and 
feelings? I really need a second Secret Journal if I have
lost so much touch with the very core of why keeping a journal
can be therapeutic. I feel that lately I haven't been writing
in part because lots has happened BUT more like what has happened
I won't put down for the world to read. But shouldn't be place
somewhere anyway? 
I think I want to remember what really happened and not the
gleaned over public stuff. I already kept a journal for the longest
time in which I only vaguely skirted issues when things
came up. In order to not give anything away. ... Those
days have got to end so I must make preparations.

They called me, Joy and K, moments before they were picking me
up to take me to the movies. I didn't know they meant the one's
in Eureka. I wasn't feeling as well as I would have liked which 
is why I hesitated to say yes. That would have been bad 
considering they were just blocks away when they called.
It's been a very special time these past days.
Meeting a new friend and watching Joy act a bit more like
a parent was intriguing. 

While at the movie I thought to myself....

You know that guy at the movies that keeps coughing annoyingly?
I was that guy this time.

It's a bad feeling.

I tried not to but every time I would laugh.. dag.. whatever.
I noticed I'm very tired right now. It's been a big couple
of days. It wore me out I suppose. That's part of the reason
I knew I had to come back here. I need to sleep well tonight.

More and more people are hearing about the blog but they all
think it's or something. I need to have biz
cards with the name on it. I have cards stock so I thought I could
whip something up today. Also, I find people are most interested
if they know or heard that a picture of them is up. Then they 
go and check it out. ... I'll keep that in mind. 
The whole fact if people know a part of them is somewhere they
remember it and might tell others. Clever.

It's clear tonight. The stars are out. It's good considering
it rained for a very very long time a lot of the time before.

.... I had to say good bye to Kass tonight. (Joy's semi Relative)
It was a gentle sadness that came over. Actually it was hard to 
be around them both earlier on because I could see they both
really really didn't want to leave each other. A tear rolled
down Kassies face. Joy was about to cry but she changed the subject
to something else. I noted the heartfelt ness of the situation.
It struck me. The compassion and I was proud to know this new
person so I was tearing up a bit as well. Aw Kass.

I walked up slowly. But fast enough to out run the cold. I thought
about things. The way things are. I noted the sadness in people.
I wished things could be better for them. 

I looked up one final time before I walk in my door the way
I always do on clear starry nights and with that final glance
out into the universe I stepped back in my warm (or soon to be )
warm sanctuary from reality. 


April 21, 2006 Friday

April 21, 2006 Friday

What can I say. I thought the day was going to be a lot more diff.
but it went alright though I didn't work on the computer. I suppose
there is quite a bit of reflection to work on this weekend.
Re eval. things. I've been excited lately to be getting so much working.

mm there has been a lot of drama lately .. man social drama this wasn't
always that way. I usually leave D street much much sooner.

There was this moment when I was in the house alone.
Actually, I went to visit and no one was there. So I went to Ricos
and accidently ordered both things to go. But I wanted to stay
and I didn't know why i was doing something I didn't want to do.
But I did and I walked out with my to go to go back to  a house
I was locked out of. And so I sat on the front steps eating my
burrito and waiting. And who should come by? But Linda. And she
was locked out as well. And so she helped me get through the window
to the bathroom and I unlocked the door to let her in. it was
fun. Really. And so I was at the house alone for a while because
everyone was going out to a party. And I remember just sitting
and watching the afternoon turn to night and playing guitar
and the funny thing was.. I was actually using the scale to pick
out the notes for that song I always sing to myself. Before I was
ripping away at this melody I really liked. A college theme song
I thought. What a nice sound. It was just right and so I get up
and played it on electric while imaging various accompany with drums
coming in at just the right moments. It was great really.
I spent some more time betting programs installed on the USB key.

Images from the not so crazy part of the day. Make a weird face. It looks like I'm talking about something. Just picking someone up. They are very good friends. But you can't tell from any of these images I guess.


Long Cough Day

April 20, 2006 Thursday 6:13 PM
If a day has no open moments than not much
can be thought or put down.
To bad.
I'm very sick with a horrilbe hacking cough
and all I want to do is sleep it off but I"m
also hungry so I want to eat.
have you ever had one of those times when you
couldn't decided which would be better
to do more? Eat than sleep or sleep than eat?
I'm goign to eat first.

=== from lab ==
10:29 AM

When I am at my best I can be in a sitation and understand
what I can get out of it even when things are not going
Consequently I am much more awake when things like this go on.
Though it's to bad I can not go back and just choose to
sleep because I really needed that.

It brings up ideas about reliance on technology.

Ideas about What is good code?

There is a fellow whom writes lots of code and fast.
Self Taught. THe self taought ones are always diff
from college skill breed.

Andrew from class mentioned some good code practises.
.. I decided to research it a bit.

10:27 PM

I feel really werid right now. I feel like I'm torn between
feeling sick and wosy and wanting to walk out to get some air.
... ugh I don't know what to do so I cleaned. And I felt a little
better. I guess I feel stressed but I"m in denial.
I tried to sleep earlier but I don't recall if I manged to.
I the next thing I knew after laying down was that my heart
was beating faster and I didn't feel tired. I didn't remember
sleeping but I did have my eyes closed.... it's distressing.

I'm walking out. Entry later... though I prob will not get around
to it to tommorrow.


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