The Video Sampler

4.11.2006

Everyone has a Choice

April 11, 2006 Tuesday Everyone has a choice
The way she spoke. It was so serious and I couldn't 
help but to feel the weight of the reality of her words
upon me. It crushed my heart for the first time in a very 
very long while. Afterward, as tears dried up on my face,
and I walked somewhat dazed through the rainy night, I 
gazed at how unfamiliar and strange the life had become.
My life. It seemed like as I walked away I had a large
degree of acceptance. I would not be the defiant one like
the others... in fact all I knew I could do was to listen
and feel with out objective. It is her life and one can not
know what her life is about rather they would be so selfishly
inclined to keep her alive just for their sake. 
Come now, things shouldn't be like this. But they are.
There was a moment when I simply could not stand the gravity
of the possibility that was being revealed. It landed upon
my soul and cut up the soften heart that now has been once
again scorched by events in the world. My world.
What do I do now?
I tend toward nothing... it's just my way.
This was another day in which I did not do what I should
have done academic-wise but that is alright I feel.
How could it not be when things this important stare at me
in the face? That face I look at and wonder about just so 
much. 
If she leaves for good I would understand.
If she stays I would talk to her and 
tell her 
the usual things.
But I would mean them all that much more.
I must be to sleep for this day has taken it's toll on 
my conconsciences.

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