The Video Sampler

9.18.2006

September 18, 2006

September 18, 2006 Monday 9:17 PM

I should be feeling more nerve wracked at the moment....
but I don't. The things I have to do are getting down.
Gradually. And the extra things I would like to take care of
are being examined. 
I suppose I should read up in preparation for the up coming tests.
I'll get to it.
But presently it's 9:18 PM and I have a bit of time to breath
before another round of crazy stuff goes down.

Maybe my act is coming together. Maybe I'm growing, (and experiencing
growing pains) in response to that growth. 
I see openings. I see alternatives.
I think the minor course of my life turned away from the 'social'
and back into the 'work' (if it ever was) and I think that's a good thing.
There should be days for 'hanging' but there should be more times when
I'm in purist of my objectives. And the only way to pull of anything
is to work for everything. 
So what if this means I'm barred up night after night rattling the cages
of my brain to accommodate success. 

At least I'm not stepping on any more social land mines. 


And someday... I might be back to that old self. The old social self
that I used to have. .. But that's a long way away. 
Besides, I've felt so bad about not taking care of these things.
It's about time I did take care of them.

I'd be letting myself down if I didn't...
and ta think... I have been for so long.

It's good to grow.
Someday, I'll finally feel relief. But right now... every moment
is a bit rugged. Every breath is a bit war torn. 

I'll know when to take a vacation... but that's not anytime soon.


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