The Video Sampler


The Halloween Samba

October 31, 2006 Tuesday The Halloween Samba

Well there were not tricks or treats.. but I did spend half the day with a head band and a painted on mustache. And then after my final class of the day ended around 7pm I danced (the kind with real steps and rules) with females until 12 or so and couldn't stand up nor speak because I had lost my voice. Course, it wasn't exactly Halloween related.. it was fun. And it took my mind off of things. .... I know I was thinking a lot through out the day. And I know I was going to forget it by the time I got to type here. ... It's a shame really. I took a psychology test early on. I worked out a new short hand for my geometric proving and rough sketches of mathematical ideas. I found some new ways to solve for an only angle bisector problem. I got frustrated over problems playing a DVD while in the library. I tended a SE class that didn't actualy occur.... blaw. My chest hurts from pedaling back in a rush. The fact that my chest hurts from time to time is the scarest thing I can think of for myself this Halloween. ... Often through out the day I would stare off and imagine seeing the 3D objects emerge from my imagination and dance before me.... they don't yet. but I imagine making the movie where I describe how no one can see what I see... but in this form I could at least show what it's like to constantly be imagining things all the time. Things to work on, things to explore, things to create, thinks to do. All of it. ...


I Mourn the Loss of my October

October 30, 2006 Monday I Mourn the Loss of my October
It started as a cube.

Want to play with the blend file? Here's a link to 
creaturehead.blend 268 kb

Thinking Economy I think there is still a place for thinkers in the economy of civil life. I recall speaking to my biology teacher during the summer about how someone could write up the theories and experimetns and have someone else test them. I noted that theorists are important people too. It should all add into the argumnet for more thinkers and specify that thinkers and thinking is an important enough of a matter to really... well think about. ... Oh yeah, I was walking through the library last night and I stopped to stare at the chalk board. ... I wondered what to put on it.. as I tend to do that sort of thing when a large clean chalk board presents itself to me. I started writing out a way to represent algebraic symbols via computer data structures... and someone wound up proving that the distributive property only works for the exponent of 1 and no other exponent. ... eh it's all a bit hazy now but it was a minor interesting thing that happened. 9:48 PM I Mourn the Loss of my October I do. October is nearly over and Halloween is about to occur and I have not settled down to enjoy one bit of it. .... Though I suppose I sort of watched on. While on those day time rides, watching as decorations greeted me from steps, while I rode my bike along. I suppose I took something in. .. But nothing that would compare with what my imagination could concoct or remember. ... Memories of Halloween holidays long past come back in fragments. ... A fireplace mantel with ceramic ghost figures and jack-o-lanterns. Stories I wrote while back in high school. Images from Halloween specials I once watched on TV. None now. No TV, no Halloween specials. No trick-or-treating to look forward to. ... It may as well be as though Halloween didn't exist. Perhaps, that is my attitude towards all of the holidays now. Maybe, even my birthday for I do not acknowledge it the way I 'could'. ... But Halloween... this death of such a dream that I enjoyed so throughly in the past is the deepest dagger in my heart. Halloween and the Octoberish month was the beacon in my childhood life. The dissolution of which.... marks the end. And the beginning of a catastrophe of barren future ahead. Ouch. .... But still I remember what I always wished I could have come back to. Perhaps, if school was not pestering me I would have turned my energies more towards the holiday spirit rather than away from it. And someday really have those Halloweenish type adventures I always seemed to write about or dream of. .. eh. My imagination is certainly a large place. I've been lost in it for quite some time. Am I becoming the Scrooge of Holidays? In all my haste I must have lost something more precious, something sparkling beneath a locked and padded box. It must be that endless longing for the dream like qualities of a getaway I'd call Halloween Holiday Spirit. No. I couldn't lose that. It's still there, I bet, or else why would I be mourning my lost Ocotober? I ripped myself off, merely glancing in passing without taking the time to take it in. I did think about curving. I did think about costume, but now I do not believe I'll be wearing one tomorrow. ... What can I say to myself? Next year?
It needs better eyes.



October 29, 2006 11:00 AM Sunday Laying

I awoke this morning from hazy thoughts of how many ways to
do circles in Blender. I decided to just get up and do them to 

I could evenn take a circle and fill it in with grid squares. 

All the advantages and disadvantages aren't readilly apparent until you render 
them with SetSmooth and SubSurf. (see below)

11:00 AM It's easy to make sure to do a little work in Blender everyday and just post the images from it. It's the same with writing in a way... since I always know I can do it everyday despite time constraints and it adds something extra to the page. 6:33 PM Well, I did it. The paper I mean. And mostly things required are done. Except for the SE project which still demands a huge amount of work and probabily isn't really organized for it. That's what makes it a bigger headache than it has to be. I got back in after my outting to print and to gather food in which I ate while numbing my sensibilities infront of the screen. I took a brieff snooze and awoke from a sleepless sleep to recline in the cozy warmth of my freshly heated room. (I always note the warmth because I know it costs 13 cents per degree per hour to keep it that way) So I indulge from time to time espacialy since I was exposed to a sick person this weekend and want to stay well enough to take my tests this week. Hence, why I drank all that water as well. ... Laying But while I laid down in the dark listening to the sound of my own thoughts I noted how I felt. ... It was faint really. A faint feeling of longing to be elsewhere. Perhaps, to walk gracefully through an aging memory and to be swiftly wrapped up in feelings that were once had but had been lost to all but the fainted memory of their existence. I wondered if I really longed to be back there as I watched my memories shift past. I wondered what it was at this point in my life that makes me want to stop it all and rewind. Could it be that I stare off into my own destiny and am slightly disgusted by what I see? I note the ways in which I do not attend the parties that other people do. I note how I have not taken in the festive spirit of October in all it's Halloweenish glory. I note the trouble I have with feelings of independence under rule. There can be no independence while under rule. So I am troubled. All while I lay back trying to stay warm in a room that quickly dampens with the cold that comes in from the glass sliding doors. The thoughts of 'what to do' beckon me at all hours of my life.. but it that point, while I lay, they were merely whispers clamoring to get me to rise and take on the world once more. Was I about to honor them? Was I about to answer them? Value them? No, at least not for a another few moments. ... ... ... I'm quickly forgetting what I was thinking about regardless. It's best to move on I suppose.
Differences in between extruded circles from above with SetSmooth enabled. Now SubSurf and Set Smooth enabled. The Cylinder Version and the converted Bez Circle have the most problems.


Cleaning House

October 28, 2006 Friday 10:36 PM Cleaning House

Can you tell the difference between these two images?


The one on the right has the same render controls except it has AmbOc enabled.

"You either, define the times, or be defined by them" 7:11 PM Okay, so I may not have worked on the paper yet and the day is sort of over in the since that I'll be occupied... I still feel good about cleaning up my room. When I look over and don't see a mound of ruffly papers I feel better. In its place, is a clean corner and a small heater. It felt good to spend 90 plus minutes to fix up everything. And yet, there is still 40 minutes before my guest arrives. Which means I can do something... should I choose to. ... Regardless, I wanted to note that I did bike out at the right time today. It was cold... but not so cold my knuckles hurt. I rode out and visited the Community pool. It was very warm and humid in there. I mused about the fact that it was right next to the cementary as well as the Arcata High School. I biked around a bit, and chased this large sea faring bird in cicrles in the parking lot. I've never pursued a bird of that size on a bike. It was fun if not a little bit un-nice. I wondered if the bird was eventually going to turn around and peck at me. ... But it didn't and instead it flew off after I circled with it for about 3 or 4 times. The whole time I rode I narrated to myself. I spoke of the short cut I took that its at the bottom of the hill that the cementry rests at. I noted the way the fog was rolling in. I noted many things but did not turn on the recorder to catch them. I thought about it though. It was right in my pocket. I desperately wanted a haircut but didn't have the cash on me nor did I think I was going to be out before the guy had closed. So, it's left to some other day when I'll have to plan to go and get these annoying hairs cut out of my face. Argh. That 'argh' wasn't really vocal it was more just typed and sort of subdued in the literary sense. ... Not that that phrasing makes much sense.
Sometimes it takes a while to get all the render and lighting settings just right. By the way that is the same ball you saw from above. This image came after several other tries. Blotchy and too dark. Notice the light leaks in the lower right and corner. (Those light spots in the shawdow) I'm slowly teaching myself how to render the images nicer. Still no caustics though.


HB Joy

October 27, 2006 Friday HB Joy

Happy Birthday.

4:21 PM I must have felt grateful. The way I sat down on that bench in the middle of Founders Hall Courtyard. Great sitting location by the way. The wooden boards ease in a little and it fits more like a ridged hammock than a wooden bench. It was a college thing to do. I admit. But it felt great to be there with my freshly bought Cliff Notes Book and the quite calmness that only comes when one is sitting in a tranquil courtyard. I laid back a bit letting my head fall back to watch the perfect blue sky through the thinly laid branches above me. I smiled spontaneously while completely engulfed in this little moment of 'now' that I found myself in. It was one of those moments that begs to be remembered. It was one of those moments that gets burned into the memory as a delightful 'things-were-better-then' sort of memory. So vivid, and alive and yet it was only for a moment. I enjoyed the fact that I had the opportunity to be there. By 'there' I mean college and in freedom to think. The Social Sciences area D has explained quite a bit about struggle and freedoms.. and while I know not what the future is to bring I knew that at that moment all the possilibite felt open. I felt content with my skill set at that moment. I felt I had the capcity or could soon have the capcity to take a shot at living the life I always wanted to live. Regardless, to how it might turn out, I was enjoying that moment of sureness that I so rarely ever feel. The courtyard it quickly becoming a favorite spot for me the same way the swing set was in elementary. A place where I was free and the world was that thing at arms reach and that feeling of fun and excitment. ... Today, I do not live in the same world. This is why I revel in those fleeting moments like the one I described. It is in those moments when I'm finally really myself. The guy I always once was still exists somewhere. Times just need to change enough for him to come back. And I would welcome that 'me' with open arms if it were to happen. It would be coming home to where home should have always been. But I'll have none of that now. This is why the smile caught me off guard. Genearly, I'm imaginging things as though played out in movies. And so every action is audience based I suppose. But when I smiled right then... it was me. Not an act, just a smile.

"Not an act, just a smile"

Though it woudl soon grow cold out there, and I would have to retire to some ofther location much less sacred.... it wouldn't be long before my thoughts return to that place. As they always will... whenever I'm free to be me. ................................................ Collective Book There is a lincense that allows for people to share and modify a piece of work. And I wondered.. about starting a book under such a lincesn and encourge everyone to modify it... I imagined a core story preesented in the first version... and then subseqent tales would follow whatever any authoers cared to write in.. like alternate story paths etc. And I started thinking about the managment logistics. svn and such. And writing guidelines the same way they have guidelines in open source projects.... I noted the alure of starting something that lives on long after I put it down.... I think that's the beauty of the open source mentality. Literary AI I was fascinated by the idea of taking apart a book on as many levels as possilbe without getting into metaphors or symbolisms. I started to think about some future possiblity where a machine could decoded the book on all the different levels. And then I would quickly remind myself of the troubles of word net. .... a single workd doesn't lump itself directly into a catogry but spreads amoung many depending on usuage. It's annoying really, and it's why I put down one of my program ideas a while back. svn script Script writing? Sounds like those writers could benefity from svn. I thought about putting the two together. Since I take it most writer types are not familar with sub-versioning management it might be intersring to combine them in order to give a new writing collaborative tool... 8:16 PM Ugh. I felt a bit sick. And the last thing I wanted to be was cold and sick. .... So I came home after spending time at 'her' place. Really, good dinner though. Really.


Eventful Day

October 26, 2006 Thursday 2:20 PM Eventful Day

Render Progression

You know, there are only like 3 tutorials that tell me anything about what I want to know. And nothing could save me from the inevitable decline in quality that occurred as I tried to render a caustic. (you know a caustic ) Not bad with the subtle shadows. Maybe if I work at it I can get that lighty thingy. Now, that looks more promising. mmm I'm getting excited. I might actully get what I want. Um... Not quite... This isn't really working. I guess I lost focus and just randomly made everything reflective. Drat. What the heck? Aww Forget.
Well, I think it is. I think Thursday could be the filming day. I note how easy it is to stow the extra stuff behind my seat in Psychology.. then I can go about capturing what I need in various places. Though I did shy away from some things I was bold in others. I made sure to speak with the Psychology professor rather than spring a camera onto him. I think it's best to be polite and I realized after deciding to walk away from the chief filming thing.. that it would be best to have my consent papers ready as well as an explanation regarding them. I need to produce a card. A paper to be signed maybe a carbon copy slip. And I would like to go a step further and get an outline of the agreed filming schedule. I don't want to be bound by an outline but I want there to be some agreed upon 'this is what the idea was at the time' So we know later. I want to fight the whole Michael Moore Bias where people think any guy with a camera is out to 'rub' someone out. I think the best way is to be open and honest about all objectives. ... Another moment of the day I noticed a student with a vocal tic. And after a while of debate with myself I decided to go over and ask whether or not they had tourettes.... and I did. I had to know. Her name was Chelse (spelling?) and she is the second person I've ever met with tourettes. (Amanda V. was the first.) I remembering being sort of dizzy and not believing I was actually asking her. It felt so un real but I did. And after first she was like.. "oh" But then I quickly mentioned that I had tourettes too and that I was delighted to meet another TS person. .... 5:59 PM I realize I have to get better looking renders in order to really attract attention to my blender lessons. So, I've been experimenting with the light settings for the last hour and 'sort of' getting somewhere. .. sort of. 7:36 PM (after the render snafus) How did I come up with that? in response to a comment. I'm not sure I fully understand everything in the comment. Mostly, I took away the "phase plane" term and looked it up. Interesting. I also noted the statement, "mathematical thinking is a deeply personal matter" I wondered how the common folk would react to that statement. But mostly I was caught by the beginning. "It appears that what you have done is a rediscovery of an object called "phase plane". If never encountered this construction before, you have made indeed a remarkable jump of imagination." Thanks. I like to make my imagination jump. It's nice to have people notice those mathematical thoughts. I know a lot of people whom find them and skim over them. Anyway, blaw.


The Trains

October 25, 2006 Wednesday The Trains

I don't know why it looks extra wrinkly.

10:49 PM I'm getting faster at writing the papers. I'm getting clearly with my statements. I'm learning to do more with less time. It's astonishingly actually. I've only spent about 2 hours and am closer to writing this paper than 2 hours ever got be before. I recall the best moment of the day was when I sat down next to this female whom was playing the piano and got to listen. I was hypnotized by the sound. The enthralling melody played on me and sent waves of sensations through out my body. It was amazing. I recall wishing it wouldn't end in one of those moments. But of course the day moves on. The whole vacation that it was made the whole day better. Busy as I have been today... I've done enough of that paperish work to begin thinking about coming back to other things. Though I'm quickly remembering I have Software Engieering matters to tend to. And even biz matters to tend to. I realize I have to be in the proper state of mind in order to film a movie. Sort of, energetic and ready for anything. Yeah, only the completion of all immediate academic work brings me closer to that. That's why I keep waiting on things. I want the school work done before I begin other things. But if I'm burnt out already, then the school work gets pushed back and consequently the movie work does as well. But if I finish it all sooner than later. .. well then I can have some fun. I remember thinking earlier in the night about the encapsulation of mathematics... or more like lateral thinking in mathematics. Take the trains for example. Two trains start at two points on a track, and they have two different velocities. It's a classic problem. Perhaps, you have seen if before. Maybe, on a test or in a physics course or most likely an algebra and above sort of encounter. The thing about it is if you know something about the position function of an object from physics. x = x1 + v1*t + (1/2)a*t^2 you merely have to set up two of those equations (one for each train) and solve for whatever variable you like. The fact is that this model (equational model) describes that system perfectly. Well, as perfectly as an ideal case may be. And with algebra and two of these equations we can see when if and when the trains will hit. All the cases of train interaction are expressed given you can decode the equations and interpret them in real world terms. I believe I was in middle school in a car heading back home from a long car trip when I thought of using these equations to model the trains... Anyway, the thought that dawned on me much more recently. (after linear algebra) was that the same information in this train problem could be pictured completely differently. And express a completely different idea. Suppose, I merely take the number for position and the number for velocity. These are just two numbers. And two numbers make a point. So what is to stop me from plotting this 'train function' on a graph? Now, I'm no longer looking at an equation but where this particular equation fits in it's equation space. Thinking about it this way.. each point in the 2D coor system is a train. Or at least it represents what a train could be given it has some position and some velocity. Now I have two trains in this problem so I have two points on my graph. And suddenly the familiar train problem takes on a whole new wonder. Now, I can see that the number of possibilities of outcomes for these two trains is merely a characteristic of the relationship between these two points. So.. what happened mathematically? There was no algebra step that said, "Okay now just forget about that equation and plot the points" naw, it was merely stepping back and looking at the same situation with a different tool. I'd note that the reason I could do this is that the root information is conveyed.. only my choice of conveying is changed. I say root because in this representation I still need to know what I'm describing. (ie the equation is information too) I was quite excited when I realized this one day for I suddenly saw that I could apply a whole different field of mathematics to those old trains. And then I was left scribbling out results and pondering the consequences for hours. Lovely. But what do I call this sort of step? .... Encapsulation of Mathematical Ideas? ..... Lateral Heuristic? ...... Logical Perspective Change? Eh, who knows.


Subdued Animosity

October 24, 2006 Tuesday 8:46 PM Subdued Animosity

I think I liked the glossy ones better.

If I were to rate it. I would say today was a bad day. Or if not that, than a hard day at the least. From 12 to 8 and when not in class or preping for that presenation I had a a headache of a social day. Maybe, I should try and lay down and dream of those better times. Those days before all the world goes awry. And yet I have not made a moving picture debut in so long. But I careless these days with the weight of work on my head. ... 9:04 PM What does the statement, "Don't take life too seriously?" actually mean? What does it imply? Is it even advice that 'can' be taken? Eating is a serius business. I make sure to eat. That goes along with keeping myself warm, on time and handling my academic responsibilities. I've heard the statement before but I can't imagine what implementation really looks like. Is it, give a laugh when you can? Is it, don't fret the small detials? (I would gladly debate that one with you on a matter of induction) How bout, have a ball while you can. Again, this doesn't seem like advice that should even be taken seriously. In which case I would reply to, "don't take life too seriously." With "I'll start with that advice, and forget about it." Knowing that the statement generally comes up when someone is critiquing someone else for their stress and worry over issues frames the advice as a sort of 'calm down' Maybe, it means 'calm down' rather than change your degree of seriousness. I can take that advice. I can attempt to handle issues that come up with a degree of grace under fire. That's different. There are reasons why worry exists. It's part of the whole natural selection and it does quite a good job of motivting to improve your resliances to threats as well as focus on issues that need resolution. I wouldn't be so quick to discrimate on a feeling based on how 'good' it felt, but rather how benefical over all it has been. In which case, I make the simple acknowledgement that many people whom feel good and are content are also people whom have not doing quite a lot of things. Of course in life, doing a 'lot of things' is merely optional. I feel it gives me a sense of direction. And that is something I take very seriously.


Embrace the Problem

October 23, 2006 Monday 10:04 PM Embrace the Problem

It's funny how I strive to always be prepared
for everything a long time in advance, and yet....
one professor decides to force me to produce a 10
min presentation by tomorrow by assigning it today.
That hurts.
The claim? "Oh yeah, it's like real world experience."
Sure. That doesn't make it right you know.
Besides, I'm not really aiming to be 'unemployed' so much
as I am aiming to do the 'employing'.

Hence, the meetings I set up this week. So that progress
would be encouraged to occur. 

... in other news.

I noticed a female from across the room smile at
me when I made eye contact with her. I prob. wouldn't
have noted it had it not been for all that flirting
research I did in that guide. 

I'm becoming far to distracted with these sorts of things.
But.. that little moment made me feel better.

Good to know some things can still do that. 

12:08 AM the next day

Every-time I get discouraged these days I think about
embracing rather than running from my problems. 
It is only in the embrace that I may resolve them.
Be in the trenches when under fire in life.

Be prepared rather than sorry.

The only time I've had to give a last minate presentation
was when the professor forces it on me.
I wish myself good luck tomorrow.


Biting the Literary Bullet

October 22, 2006 Sunday 4:34 PM Biting the Literary Bullet

I was attempting porcelain but got smoked glass.

I did that cell phone in foil test.
It didn't work. 

Why did the aluminum foil not work?
Maybe it's because it's a semi-metal.
Maybe I need a hardcore transitive metal to block
those e waves.

10:41 PM
Writing papers for class weigh for too much on my 
mind. They choke out the creativity I wish I could
express and destroy the possibilities of movies.

The only remedy is to hurry them along and bite the
literary bullet. Then quickly muster the rest of
your strength to do what I always wanted to do...
think and produce.


Idyllic Thoughts and LPS

October 21, 2006 Saturday 11:17 AM Idyllic Thoughts and LPS
And a pretty picture I did of marbles.

Shrimp on Treadmill Coffey found this and showed me.. but then I found it on youtube and I was impressed that it wound up there. ... well not really but the fact she pointed it out to be 'before' it was on the tube made it even specialer. I wonder if I should start a spreadsheet of entries? I could always link off to them... mmmm. 11:55 AM The day Microsoft falls might be a good one but people won't realize it at the time. Why dot doc is Dumb in my opinion. Remember, you can't fight free. 12:25 PM Democracy of Taste? I vote yum. Ted Gladwell's Talk 7:14 PM Gotta get those thoughts in before homework comes.. LPS Local Positioning System I was with a friend at the Foot ball game. (I never intend to go see games I just happen to accompany my friend whom has to work at ticket examination) Regardless, she asks me to just say what's on my mind. You the the things... that voice in your head that keeps jumping from one thought to another. She basically encourages me to speak out loud the stuff I only whisper to myself. And the result? I spoke of everything from GPS to Parlor Math and why I'd like to solve the Restaurant problem. I even got into reasons for solving some math problems over others. And a test of a prank to stop a cell phone from recieving signals by placing it in a aluminum wrapped container. (It would be a prelude to wrapping an entire room in a house in foil to achieve radio silence.) But the thing I thought was worth coming back to was the LPS. You've heard of GPS right? If not heres a neat Neat Looking Page explaining it I gave a rough analogy to my friend explaining that it works a bit like the way your ears work.. well more like the fact that you have two of them. Sound traveling from a source hits one ear before the other and your brain translates the information into, "hey, someone's calling my name from over there" More or less, GPS works something like that.... only the GPS receiver attempts to identify the difference in time it receives different radio signals from satellites. But instead of wanting to know where the sound comes from it wants to know where it is. (See the similarity?) the technology works wonders for so many things... I was always curious at how I could shrink it down to put it to work for micro-machines. I have a thing for nano-tech. I always want to work out some theories that could help put it to work but I never quite know where to start. Anyway, my mouth would water at the possibly of having something like GPS but for millions of very small things. You see, if you could find out position data (the x,y,z's) of a million little scattered trackers you could pull off some very cool things. Want a 3D model of _______ ? Just rub on this paste and like magic it appears on the computer screen in full 3D with very very good resolution. Stuff like that... and more. ... So, I would tend to ponder whether or not it would be feasible to pull of the same sort of idea on such a small scale. .... That's where the problems kick in... well the ones I can see. GPS relies on very very accurate timing. GPS is basically a bunch of clocks in space that are all marching in time to each other. (This way a subject can detect the diff. in signals they emit and know that that difference comes NOT from the clocks but from their position relative to them) The thing about it is that you have to take Einstein's Relativity into account (you know Relativity relating to GPS) Without these theories GPS wouldn't work. (time bends you know) And that bending would through off the march.. it would be like if every marcher in a band had a diff. metronome depending on their distance from the conductor... geesh. That's not a pleasant picture. Regardless, it sounds like all the precision is going to be a problem the closer together you make your emitters and receivers. As in the time diff between two signals is going to get smaller and smaller and may become difficult to detect. ... Though I'm not very knowledgeable in detection of slight difference in timing I know that experiments that require high temporal precision can utilize a laser splitter and bring the beam back together to note the diffraction pattern. (roughly, if a perfect beam of light is split and then gets shifted somehow ... eh something like this) And that sort of process is VERY sensitive to differences of the sort I care about. But what remains is whether or not there exists a system that can be miniaturize to micro scales and used on a local level to carry out the same positional I really don't want to rely on satellites way out in space. (For one they could get destroyed during a solar storm.) And two, I want everything to be lab friendly. I suppose, another way I pondered was to have a box of themes little machines and tell one of the bots that it is the origin. Then have them do sort of a roll call. ie. "You to my left will be point (1,0) you to my right will be (-1,0) and pass it on with incremenation) Theoretically, if each device get reporting back local coordinates then some fuzzy picture of what was going on could be produced by the whole system. Though I worry about chaos effects and accuracy. ... least it's a way if the whole time detection thing can't be miniaturized. .... Phew, all that writing about ideas makes me feel a bit like Arthur C. Clarke and his space elevator gig. .. eh maybe that's being to egoish. I have no idea at the moment who has thought about this sort of thing so far. I don't even think I got to the Parlor Math or Restaurant problem nor the social reasons to pursue some mathematics over others. ...... Man, there were so many insects hitting me in the face while I rode my bike today. They saturate the sky's of Arcata.. I wondered why I didn't spot any bats on my way back. They would be having a feast right about this time of year I suppose. It was surprisingly warm out while I rode today. It reminded me of home and if I didn't have that large paper to write I prob. would have let the feeling engulf me. .. but sadly no. Instead, it stayed at the back of the mind while my senses enjoyed the warmth for once. Idyllic I'd call it. It was an idyllic ride. ... 8:01 PM Hey I like the space elevator.. It's like a cable to heaven or thems old I'll throw a rope up and climb it and never come down.. yeah, JUST like that. 50 min writing


Why my Feet Hurt

October 20, 2006 Friday 11:32 PM Why my Feet Hurt
What happened?
I just got in from a long walk that I originally
didn't really intend to go on. And for some reason
my eyes haven't adjusted to this room lighting.
My feet hurt and I'm tired but must take care of
things before bed.
I really didn't intend to waste half the day.
Well, what happened?

COMM Class sprang an egg drop onto me.
And my teams egg was the only one out of the 
entire class that broke. 
Failure... is a word I'm far to familar with.
I think the worst part was that I was part of a group
and I was prob. most responsible for the calamnity.
I recall standing there after watching every other egg
survive.. thinking... about how this was a microcomse of my life.
Time and time again I'm put into these competions only to fail.
Be it bridges or eggs or what ever dumb tactic they offer
I seem to lose despite knowing a deal about the physics involvded.
The lesson? The equations don't translate into success.
Knowing about a deal of things won't always help.
Life would be great if the fairy tale of the guy whom solves out
the equations also wins the day.. but it ain't what I see.
And the fact I was most vocal in that small group and had others
to advert eye contact with after the fact.. cast doubt
upon my future ambitions.
Faliure? Am I now?
A trebuechet that doesn't throw very far, a broken bridge, 2nd time 
I mess up an egg drop.. etc. What next?
I sure hope the next isn't business related.. though that may be 

I have to have a victory somewhere I suppose. 

I will not lay down. I will get up. I will resolve. 
I will never be finished. Merely, able to learn from
the events and walk forward with the lessons. 

I could do no less.

But still.... I felt like crying after.
I walked away. ...

Totally unprepared to have a female walk with me.
I wasn't in the social mood and it made it worse when 
I realized I must have come off pretty down.. Which I was of course..
but that's not something that you want to be in front
of the female whom I laugh with most days I'm in COMM.

The day progressed from there... I kept that residual anger
through out the rest of the day and didn't make much of
a dent in my paper writing. I'm sure I'll catch up on 
the weekend. It will be one of thems working weekends I 

I attempt to help Joy with scheduling...
I watch a movie in the library. Shawn comes by.
I go eat at the Chineses Place near Joy's.
I visit her. Daves over there. 

Despite, knowing I shouldn't I find myself at
the Red house with the usual social distractions.
But of the good idea I suspose. 

The night ends.. I wind up having to walk a great
distance to and from houses.

And that's why my feet hurt. 

What a day.


Music Remixed

October 19, 2006 Music Remixed

Ah, I took the soundtrack to the During My Break movie and re-sang and added multiple vocals. Listen to During My Break Multiple 1 min 40 sec mp3
I dug out this old file late last night... It was from the time when Emily and Sadie said good bye to Kellie S Listen to Travelin Women 3 min 30 sec mp3
It's hard to say what causes so many thoughts on some days rather than others. Maybe it was the fact I couldn't fall asleep last night. I kept thinking of stuff. Then when I got up I still was thinking. And a few social encounters brightend my spirits during the day so I felt more up. Actually, just before I biked home I saw Candice and she told me she got the site up. It was so good to see her happy and excited. Quick Notes on Ideas b. room movie US map Finding that Someone Math Story OH that's what flirting is all about I was quite a amused for a long time after reading through it. Eh, I had an idea for a Tech Halloweenish movie. Scaring someone with the tree command in the command prompt of XP.


Social Dynamics

October 18, 2006 Wednesday 5:30 PM Social Dynamics

I would pause to call it social dynamics.
People meet people. Sometimes I facilitate.
Then the progression of events makes it apparent
that someone needs help and I call upon the help of
others to make sure she gets it.

I dear friend of mine gave blood and I noted
that she was having trouble merely walking back
to her place. And so I realized it was imperative
that I get her a ride in order for her to go 
get her medicine. Though the person giving the
ride was made late for their meeting at least
my friend was okay. Least I did what I could and
really had to thank the ride giver.

But the whole people intermingling and the un written
rules and the hellos and the good byes lead the day
in a very interesting fashion. I was back and forth
suddenly going from here and there and helping this and
that and then back to write that it was alright.

It was good to know I made a difference today.
And the thing is, despite my back pain, it felt like I
was becoming a better person. More able to take on the 
challenges a day, (or life) has to offer. 

7:10 PM
It was a small victory to make tabs work with moodle code.
A big step in the right direction. I suppose the more I see
how it all works the better I'll feel about the project.

11:44 PM
I tried setting up a sirhcsenotsbot but they wanted a url.. and I didn't
know what to use.... yet.


I'm Tired Audio:Journal Effect

October 17, 2006 Tuesday 7:54 PM I'm Tired Audio:Journal Effect

Audio: Some Journal Effects

Listen 4 min 58 sec mp3 I talk about the journal effect and capture a moment when I actually forgot what i was going to say and then remember like a minate later. It's weird to have that on tape. I jogged my memory by acting excited again and I did it. I remembed it.
I may not be eyes-closed tired. But I am tired of something. I'm tired of the 'mean' spirted folk I'm subjected to. I'm tired of being sanded down by educational projects. I'm tired of getting up to go out and 'do it'. I'm tired of forcing myself to get from here to there. I'm tired of the same old concerns and worries. I'm tired of searching for words where I can find none. I'm tired of the huge lists of things to write building up. I'm tired of the fact I haven't done what I intended to do. I'm tired of the journal entires from 2001 in which my heart was broken beyond repair. Even 5 years later it hurts. I'm tired of feeling bad for not posting movies. I stopped checking the site stats and turned away from the web for a long deal of time. I want to be responsive but I can't really force it nor can I contribute so much time to the endeaver. It doesn't mean I don't think a lot about the comments people make. I'm tired of not getting my ideas out there in all their forms. I'm tired of thinking about the work I 'should' be doing. I'm tired of my internet connection failing on me. .... So what will I do now?
[There 'would' be an image here if ccPublisher actually worked] That's it. I'm going to take it upon myself and get the code and fix this dang thing. It's driving me crazy. Sometimes I screen shot the journal text and fold them into shapes. This image dates back to around Thanksgiving break 2005.


October 16, 2006

October 16, 2006 Monday 6:36 PM
I sat and watched a video in the library.
And then I walked home slowly while cupping my hands
infront of me. My jacket was draped across my shoulders
as I strolled back home along a freshly rain cleaned road,
while cars brushed past the sunsetting on the clouds.
It was simply beatufiul and I lingered along thinking
of many things. 
My thoughts weren't really about the scenerey as they were about
society and the video I had just seen.

Issues of today have to be faced.
Running away is accepting defeat before defeat is
really nesccary. 

And I think, I can at least, if nothing else,
make a point to the world in my small way.
I could put the pieces of the simulation together...
figure out what could be done or what is changing
and demonstrate a way out of the mess.

If nothing else I could try that. 

I'm reminded of the foundation series.
Isaac Asimov  and the Seldon Crisis.
The Video reminded me of those things.

Aside now, I see confrontations in my future.
Am I ready to face them?


Uncle Chris

October 15, 2006 Sunday 5:20 PM Uncle Chris

I was just told I'm going to be an uncle. 

There was also discussion of me being driven up
by Zach and Hillery. I mentioned that I was waiting
to see if Liz was going to be okay. 
It changes where I'm going to be and when.

9:58 PM
Despite feeling sick.
I got to help complete a video with Sadie so that she
could show her class tomorrow. 
I got paid for once and I felt much much better.
My rate is 10 dollars per video editing hour. 
And I was going to make the posters this weekend
but it's drawing to a close rapidly. 

but that uncle news was strange.
I spent much of the day trying to do many things
at once. And I guess it was getting to me.

TeleChatting with Shawn.

And Nora is over there.


October 14, 2006

October 14, 2006 Saturday 
10:23 PM
I've already taken so much of this weekend off.
I can't seem to leap into action like I wanted now.
It was suppose to be a weekend where I was going to 
do all these things but... it hasn't turned out that way
and secondly I'm dragged into helping with this or that
so I'm not solidly devoted to what I originally intended.
And I'm sickish in the time that I'm really suppose to be
working on something. 

Though just helping people as usual. 
There isn't a way to gauge how much can reasonably 
be done in a weekend and how much I can't do.
It's a mess.


Friday the 13th

October 13, 2006 Friday 6:22 PM
I'd best place these things here first.

Can you tell what this is going to be?


It is Halloween-ish these days after all.


October 12, 2006

October 12, 2006 Thursday 11:24 PM
That was fun though. I didn't really feel like
staying in when I got back.. so I found myself
practicing my speech at the Redwood house. 

And I had fun and helped with things as well.

Though I currently read in the news about N. Korea
I wonder from time to time about a world that seems
to be slipping away. And concerns about the
academic work fade as fast as they come when I 
see the greater pictures... that hang from
the ceiling of life's long experience.

I'll trudge forward with blind eyes towards 
menacing world events. But not entirely against
issues I might have ways of fighting.

I might say that,
It's been my life's ambition to make a place
for myself where everything is taken care of
and I don't have to watch the world to know 
it or care.

It's the longing for that place that drives
me to understand how things work so that I 
may make them work for me. 

I'll make my final valiant attempts
regardless. I could do no less.

Could I?


Premature Post

October 11, 2006 Wednesday 3:53 PM Premature Post
I was going to do the work.. but I got distracted.
With Jealous static. Not that I meant to.
It just happens sometimes. And it's not that bad...
or at least I tell myself that and shove the feelings
aside as best as I can. 
It's not like I don't understand the situation.. but it
also most be accepted that this is the natural order
of things regardless.
So what if I didn't get to read my articles when I wanted
to. The situation just chagned the 'when I wanted to' to 

Still... that feeling is so familar. ...

-very later

Between shore and sea I find myself. 
If relationships are the waves sometimes rolling
and sometimes quiet then the land is firm solid
single ground. And I stand in the middle debating
wheather or not to swim. 
It seems like too much trouble. I thought.
It seems like it's better to walk along the 
shore rather than... 

I have so much to write.. but being so tired and having
to deal with other matters makes it impossible.

So... a post is still a post even thought it's premature.


Life Timeline

October 10, 2006 Tuesday 1:49 PM Life Timeline

I awoke from a night of little sleep with an idea.
I should be grateful. I normally don't get up so well
after only a few hours of sleep unless I'm thinking of
I roll over and sit up thinking about it. 


It was about the journal. Or more or less how it's changed and the
fact I started it in 1999 which meant that only after that point do
I start really keeping track. And it makes me think about 
all those years before it. The pre journal years.
 I muse about how I could split my life with Before Journal and
After Journal. BJ and AJ And place a zero on my own life timeline.
And I realize just how foggy the past all is. 
It's almost as though my real life span (so far) goes back only a approx.
7 years.
So, I'm 22 and really I've only come to to full awareness and data sampling
with in the last 7 of those years. Prob, more like 6. 

So I note this and before I go off to take my test I write a note to 
remind myself I must evaluate the previous data while re organizing and 
store the new data of which there is a lot more of.

The journal began as text. It began flat. After that first summer
there were large gaps and I have memories of writing about other memories
but can't wade through all the material. I suppose if someone else did they
could inform me of my own life better than I. 
But the real message I ascertain for myself is that I need to decide
what I really want to track so that I can produce the maximum efficiency
in living and thinking. 

I note the old journal. I note my begining attempts to capture image data
but they can scrambled up when I tried to insert the images into the text.

Now, more in the last few months. (not even a year) I'm gathering so much
new material in text, audio, video and sample work that I need to spend
a considerably more time saving and organizing. 

My hard-drive of 250 GB has filled up and I can't install a new version of
a compiler until I clean out the old files.
And what do I mean by clean? 
I hesitate to simply delete for that would defeat the purpose of saving.
more or less when I re watch old clips and re write old writings I 
get re inspired and decide the best way to save the data is to remix
the samples into new projects so that they live in an easier to digest
edited form. 

I see times when I built stuff in lab. I see guitar playing and oscilloscopes.
I see my old town and the last footage I shot of it. 


And then I turn to the technicalities of storage.
I want to keep the work safe. I note that in this age it's possible
to prevent a fire from ruining your life's work.
And I speculate that it might be a good idea to convert the most
treasured data into a format that I could ask others to hang on to
so that if something ever happened I could pick up where i left off.

It's quite a job to filter and secure things, but if I really believe
in it then it's well worth the effort.

7:03 PM

I think the idea came to me when I was waking up from a nap
today. I knew that the next thing to do in that old audio
project was to test sine data to see if I could determine that it
it in fact WAS audio data... and then I realized I didn't need
to do any fancy graphical thing. I could just print out to text.
And so it was a quick addition of another function and I saw
what looked like the expected slope. 

Though I'm at a loss to explain the sudden jumps... it's mostly
how I thought it would be. So... my program seems to work.

11:14 PM
I've spent most of the night writing a paper so I'll have to 
focus on that and just post this anyway.

Audio: Shawn gets his Computer I narrate as Shawn gets his new computer home. Listen 4 min ish


October 9, 2006

October 9, 2006 Monday 6:37 PM

I did help Christine. The one from Communications class.
I've been proud to help so many people lately.. well actually
like about 4. But still... I felt I made a difference in their
life for a little bit.

I walk to Subway on my way home and find Kass N. there. 
Since, last e mail communication there was talk of getting
to hang out or something. But after I started going back
to subway I never saw her. And today I just happened to 
find her. And they had just baked cookies which were really
really tasty. 
This meant I was eating them while walking home. I couldn't
let the warmth leave them so I had to.

== notes from lab
Writing is the foot print of the Mind

It's where ideas first hit reality.

Where Ideas First Hit Reality
- It's easier to talk about new ideas.
  Then it's easier to write about new ideas.
  Then it's easier to audio chat about new ideas
  Then movie make
  Then change minds about new ideas
  Then act on new ideas.

On Wings of Words
- If I were to die. My essecnese, that was once I, would
be carried on wings of words into the future.
Perputialy error correcting their way into the future.
On magnetic encodinga and in the flesh of text.

T-Shirt idea :  Idea Matters

What about that printer queve screen idea? 
I stood there thinking about it. 

Why aren't the long streches of highway unsolar powered?
Couldn't that keep vechiles powered?
And the downhill roller coaser effect? Why isn't that utilized?
Well, that one is a bit far out I suppose.

Ze Frank is on TED? no way! Is it really the same guy? Really? I'm not sure. Look for him.


It wasn't cold at first

October 8, 2006 Sunday 8:34 PM It wasn't cold at first.

It wasn't cold at first
It wasn't cold at first as I sat down on the field
in the dark. I could hear the music faintly outside of
the dance hall. I had come along upon request from friends
to particpate a bit in a Salsa Dance lesson. 
I wasn't that interested. It wasn't because I couldn't do it.
Actually, I myself dont' even know the reason why I just 
didn't want to.

I seem to find myself in bitter states from time to time.

I sat there looking up at the clear night sky. There would
have been more stars had it not been for the lights from the
gym above the dance studio. Though as I sat, I could start
to see more and more and I laid back a bit to take it in.

I don't see much in the stars. Movies and stories and romance novels
always tend to make a big deal when they look up at the stars.
Starry nights are suppose to be those 'special' nights of magic
and adventure. They are suppose to be the nights when two lovers
meet. .... yeah right.

I sat there while the chill slowly bleed into my jacket.
I clutched my arms against my chest to ward it off but 
fairly soon it had me icy to the bone. 

It was fairly fitting I suspect. 
It seems to be my attitude towards relationship deals.
I'm just not motivatied to find that 'someone' 
like many other people are. 
Why the hell should I care?
And another part of me wants to answer with something but chooses
to stay silent. 

I thought about going back inside. 
And I did for a moment. But then I left for good. 
This time I was walking off the field and toward my bike.
I sniffled a bit while fumbling to unlock the chain with
my frozen hands. 

Dang it all. I thought. I'm getting out of here. 
And so I rode through the cold which grew even colder as 
I picked up speed. 

Though I'm warmly typing now that cold is still with me. 
I suspect. The cold that comes not just from a night...
but the agony of events past and mournings for things to have
yet to happen in the future.

And the funny part is....

it wasn't cold at first.


Aubrey de Grey, British biogerontologist Founder of SENS 23 minates Arguments he makes for preventing death... The Universal Disease. I haven't looked to deeply into the logic but I like the mathematical ring to some of his thoughts on the questions. I remember walking through a cemetery thinking... maybe it doesn't have to be that way. Being a computer scientistic sort of fellow I tend to think of things in terms of machines... or perhaps that comes from the physicalist perspecitve I carry. But I always muse how the nano scale of things makes both life and non life look the same.

I didn't know Hydras didn't age.


Audio: Talking to Myself

October 7, 2006 Saturday 2:13 PM Audio: Talking to Myself

Audio: Talking to Myself

Listen 1 min 50 seconds One of the first things I do in the day... is talk to myself.
Ah the greatest threat to humanity... A Rogue Exec Branch. .... 7:50 PM When working on a paper and trying to make it good .... it tends to get tendious. And then fatigue sets in. Why all this extra research? I should just write and cite adn forget about it. It's too troubling for me to continue in this manner. But my eyes grow tired and they glaze over as I look at the screen. And then it becomes all that much more painful to continue especially when I do not know the exact requirements of the sed paper. 9:46 PM How long does it take other people to write papers? I really care about the content and message. I never let any action by for nothing or 'just for class' So if that's a factor in speed of writing it's one I'm not giving up on. Though, it makes it tough when it's not writing directly for myself. Requirements and formats are a pince. 14325 words since September 1 That's roughly 387 words a day.


Past my Post Time Audio:Jon K.

October 6, 2006 Past my Post Time Audio:Jon K.

Audio: Jon Speaks Voting Integrity

Listen mp3 5min 14sec Jon Koriagin speaks about the 'report' on irregularities in the voting system of America. See the text further down in this post for more information.
Late at Night Though I'm afraid of what I read in the news these days I managed to get ubuntu working on the iMac G3. Man, events in the world make me feel stressed. Like what is all this studying for if things go really wrong? It's hard to concentrate sometimes. LATER It's past my post time yet, I shall still write a bit. I delight in getting little clips... but mostly I enjoyed being helpful. I helped people today. I helped some females from Comm class find articles for their communication reports. And they did find articles. I went to political science and there was a presenation by Demorcracy Unlimited. I found it particularly interesting to hear about the local currency. When all else fails there is always communitis to fall back on. There's all kinds of political activism ideas running around my brain lately. Though I had other meetings during the day and someone made me really mad... I managed to attend a sparse meeting with John T. Carter and Jon Koriagin. Jon Koriagin - I have to hand it to Jon. He's sharp enough to keep up with issues as well as smart enough AND daring enough to demand change from them. John T. Carter - a fellow I met my first year of college. You know it's hard not to meet him. He's very active in the community and welcoming as well as supportive and concerned about student issues and political activism. I'm there too. We talk about a proposal to Open Source Voting machine technology and halt crooked voting procedures once and for all. ... I don't know how much I want to mention at this moment because it's not really 'my' project in the sense but it's clear that when I'm better read on the subjects discussed I'll talk more about it. It's just important to note this was the first day we all came together to discuss... though the meeting was origianly to get more people aware of the issues and involded. I think some sort of promo movie that can be passed around as a link is what is needed to generate interest in the project. I recall really wanting to be involded after overhearing a discussiong about voting integrty and the corruption there of and then hearing the words 'open source' And I thought... YES. I think I yelled it when I confirmed that was what they were talking about. I think it's the right technology for the right reasons and the best possible use of that sort of licensing. Jon holds up the report. Close up of the Report The text is also available as a pdf document on line.. Preserving Democracy: What Went Wrong in Ohio Status Report of the House Judiciary Committee Democratic Staff Too bad the press doesn't seem interested in 'pressing' these concerns in this 'democracy' or whatever is left of it. This is what vlogging, blogging and the new media channels ought to press. The stuff that the press isn't pressing.


Swing and Miss Audio:LizChat

October 5, 2006 Thursday 3:46 PM Swing and Miss Audio:LizChat

Audio: Liz Chat

Liz Chat 3min 38 sec I walk and talk to Liz about her day observing in the classroom. She's going to be a teacher.
I finally got to go to sleep for a much needed nap today. I don't know how long it was but I do know I was having very very evasive dreams dreaming the time I was out. The campus was evacuated and I walked out of a room to find helicopters flying by with only a few people left over. Later in the dream there was this machine... kind of an odds and ends wooden and digital thing with metal globes the middle on one side of a room and there was something about time travel or teleportation or something. I note know that the colored text I saw running up it's screens was probably provided by my working with Linux late at night. For that was why I was up late to begin with. And the sleep deficit caught up to me. I wasn't fully asleep and felt paralyzed for parts of the dream so when I finally woke up it felt like a really long time and I had a slight headache. Now I"m hungry so I'll tend to that before class work. But man... that was strange. Again there was a large tornado in the distance. You should have seen the vividness of it all. 4:41 PM It must be a human trait that to solve problems that are not being solved. Though I don't always agree with Ze Franks sense of humor (or lang. use) I do applaud him for getting his messages across in creative and memorable ways. the show with zefrank: 10-05-06 He's dedicated to his craft. 6:18 PM I think I may have missed something. Like "did someone recognize me from the movies?" I never got the full story. But I wondered I realized I came off looking cold if that was the case. I just didn't understand. You know, it's been happing. The passing up things I mean. I think I messed up a few human encounters recently and now I feel bad. Like when you swing and you miss? Basically. 6:29 PM Hey, check out the Snarggles at Peerless Productions Peerless Productions Colin Levy does a real good job with his effects. Seeing what he does encouraged me to spend more time on mine. So I no longer think about rushing. Well, maybe a little. I watched the Did you know? movie and noted I haven't done enough text effects myself. The presentation of text and ideas can be very powerful. I should look into that. Though that reminds me of the other noteworthy one about the creative commons licensing scheme. The Moving image contest for Creative Commons had the Justin Cone movie that I admired way back when I first found out about Creative Commons licensees.


The Pages of my Life

October 3, 2006 11:58 PM The Pages of my Life

=== INSERTED from Writing the the Lab
3:33 PM
A Person in Mathematical Distress is having problems
with MATH 108 I'm told it's about logical reasoning.
I explained I didn't have time for hour meetings but
would be open for questions.

I agreed to help 2 females with research at
12 pm in the library lounge on Friday.
I just need to show them how to find peer reviewed
articles and how to perform searches with the library
Something I've become quite acquainted with after
SE and now Telecom has more of the same thing.
So writing writing writing...
but it's the wrong kind of writing. The kind of
writing that is forced. The kind of writing that comes
not from the motivation of pure thought and reflectivity
but from the academic push. The worse sort of motivation
that forces those error prone conclusions and hypotheticals.

I'm spreading out more in the next papers. Including some
observations and non 'peer reviewed' material. I might
have to write a letter about 'peer review' And the, "Who is They?"
syndrome academia finds itself in.
But that's pretty bold. It's too bad I can't write what I
would like to with things hanging above my head. That's why
today is sort of 'catch up with the writing day'
At least I think I know what to do in order to pull it all
The only good part about  having 3 papers due plus a presentation
and a test is that the papers can be done long before the due date.
... That's possible. But it takes a considerable amount of
Do I have it?

I hope so.

Hey I managed to see Powell while out with Jackie at the
food place. I mentioned that I haven't forgotten about the
philosophy promotion I spoke just a tiny bit about.


5:12 PM
I'm all set to come home by 5 and call this fellow about the
chemistry job and then... I get to thinking.... eh I really don't
have time for this. What would I say? What would I ask? I can 
afford to wait a little longer to pull of other things. 
15 hrs is large chunk out of a week that is growing smaller and
smaller already. So... I gradually change my mind. Though I think
I just wanted to ask what the work entitled. Perhaps, someone has
already filled the bill regardless. But .... I could call anyway.

11:59 PM The Reminisce

I ready passages from the psychology book while
growing tired. I slumped over and closed my eyes.
I could watch myself feeling tired. I could feel my
mind go in and out of reality for a few minates.
I could feel the punctuation of ideas come and go.
It was only 10 or 20 minates and I opened my eyes.
Real sleep had not really occurred. 
Not that I know of. But I was more awake and yet
more relaxed. 
Images of the day passed before me. 

After walking with Jackie I stopped in a mexican
Restaurant and read over notes while waiting for
my order. I had my digital camera with me.
(I hadn't had it on me for a while) And I collected
some image data. I watched as the steam rose off
the burrito. I watched as the grey clouds shed water
over Arcata. The rainy season was beginning, and that
makes biking choices harder to make. 
Least I have new shoes.

I had a feeling that the waiter was rushing me out.
He was insistent. So I left. 

And the day had thoughts. Lots of them.
But I fail to remember them while I'm here.

I think about the kind of things I'd put in my journal.
And I note the uselessness of lots of event stuff.
And wonder whether or not to turn over toward thought records
instead. For they seem like the things I note most when I re-read
the pages of my life.

I was watching water ripples bend light in puddles and how the power lines
fluctuated as a result... and Jackie walked by. So I started to walk
with her. And that's that.

Burrito. You have to specify each ingredient to get exactly
what you want. Note the stream rising off the thing. It's not
that hot but the atmospheric conditions are good for steam

Oh yeah, make sure you get a good look at what your about
to eat. I'm always getting reverse shots when I go out places.
It's part of the movie making reflex.

This is the logo as it has evolved from since that logo movie.


Buying the Farm

October 3, 2006 Tuesday 9:47 PM Buying the Farm

Welp, It looks as if my first iMac is currently in the market
for the farm. You know... that big one in the sky? It failed
to start up just now. ... The dang thing has had a good life.
I supppose. If there are any files I want off of it I'd best
copy now or forever hold my peace. I suppose with a new harddrive
and OS the thing would take on a new life. 

For now... it's seeing final days. The sound the harddrive
makes is like a large animal groaning to get up in the morning.
I look at the littel chugger and I think back....
It was the first machine I got that I did so much with.
My journal didn't start on this machine nor did my BASIC programing.
But OS X came on it. Pushing the hardware to the limits.
(it was a big slow down)  

I could sweare I've copied what i needed off it... Right?
I mean I make lots of back ups anyway. I can't possibly image what else
is on there that I haven't duplicated in all these other places.

How would I check? I'm sure there is some computery science way to do it.
You know on second thought ... I don't realy need ubuntu on this machine
as well. (I can't seem to fix the screen on it)....
well... I'd best wait on a lot of things.
This is class work to be taken care of regardless.

11:11 PM
In efforts to clean files off of computers I wandered
into files from way back.. and here they are..

What would a Halloween be without a nicely rendered coffen? 
I guess it commemorates the dying of my other computer.

It's not Christmas time... but it's almost as good when you 
go into your closet and find a bunch of swords. This was last last summer.
I recall I was looking for a fan when I found a lot of metal weapons and 
I got distracted.

Poetry and Code don't mix.... but I like to be weird when I can. I found this 
old note I wrote for someone a long time ago.


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