The Video Sampler

10.08.2006

It wasn't cold at first

October 8, 2006 Sunday 8:34 PM It wasn't cold at first.

It wasn't cold at first
It wasn't cold at first as I sat down on the field
in the dark. I could hear the music faintly outside of
the dance hall. I had come along upon request from friends
to particpate a bit in a Salsa Dance lesson. 
I wasn't that interested. It wasn't because I couldn't do it.
Actually, I myself dont' even know the reason why I just 
didn't want to.

I seem to find myself in bitter states from time to time.

I sat there looking up at the clear night sky. There would
have been more stars had it not been for the lights from the
gym above the dance studio. Though as I sat, I could start
to see more and more and I laid back a bit to take it in.

I don't see much in the stars. Movies and stories and romance novels
always tend to make a big deal when they look up at the stars.
Starry nights are suppose to be those 'special' nights of magic
and adventure. They are suppose to be the nights when two lovers
meet. .... yeah right.

I sat there while the chill slowly bleed into my jacket.
I clutched my arms against my chest to ward it off but 
fairly soon it had me icy to the bone. 

It was fairly fitting I suspect. 
It seems to be my attitude towards relationship deals.
I'm just not motivatied to find that 'someone' 
like many other people are. 
Why the hell should I care?
And another part of me wants to answer with something but chooses
to stay silent. 

I thought about going back inside. 
And I did for a moment. But then I left for good. 
This time I was walking off the field and toward my bike.
I sniffled a bit while fumbling to unlock the chain with
my frozen hands. 

Dang it all. I thought. I'm getting out of here. 
And so I rode through the cold which grew even colder as 
I picked up speed. 

Though I'm warmly typing now that cold is still with me. 
I suspect. The cold that comes not just from a night...
but the agony of events past and mournings for things to have
yet to happen in the future.

And the funny part is....

it wasn't cold at first.



EARLIER NOTE

Aubrey de Grey, British biogerontologist Founder of SENS 23 minates Arguments he makes for preventing death... The Universal Disease. http://www.sens.org/concerns.htm I haven't looked to deeply into the logic but I like the mathematical ring to some of his thoughts on the questions. I remember walking through a cemetery thinking... maybe it doesn't have to be that way. Being a computer scientistic sort of fellow I tend to think of things in terms of machines... or perhaps that comes from the physicalist perspecitve I carry. But I always muse how the nano scale of things makes both life and non life look the same.

I didn't know Hydras didn't age.

1 comment:

Dr. Leonid Gavrilov, Ph.D. said...

Thank you for your interesting post!
I thought perhaps you may also find this related story interesting to you:
Longevity Science: SENS
http://longevity-science.blogspot.com/2007/01/sens.html

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