The Video Sampler

10.20.2006

Why my Feet Hurt

October 20, 2006 Friday 11:32 PM Why my Feet Hurt
What happened?
I just got in from a long walk that I originally
didn't really intend to go on. And for some reason
my eyes haven't adjusted to this room lighting.
My feet hurt and I'm tired but must take care of
things before bed.
I really didn't intend to waste half the day.
Well, what happened?

COMM Class sprang an egg drop onto me.
And my teams egg was the only one out of the 
entire class that broke. 
Failure... is a word I'm far to familar with.
I think the worst part was that I was part of a group
and I was prob. most responsible for the calamnity.
I recall standing there after watching every other egg
survive.. thinking... about how this was a microcomse of my life.
Time and time again I'm put into these competions only to fail.
Be it bridges or eggs or what ever dumb tactic they offer
up. 
I seem to lose despite knowing a deal about the physics involvded.
The lesson? The equations don't translate into success.
Knowing about a deal of things won't always help.
Life would be great if the fairy tale of the guy whom solves out
the equations also wins the day.. but it ain't what I see.
And the fact I was most vocal in that small group and had others
to advert eye contact with after the fact.. cast doubt
upon my future ambitions.
Faliure? Am I now?
A trebuechet that doesn't throw very far, a broken bridge, 2nd time 
I mess up an egg drop.. etc. What next?
I sure hope the next isn't business related.. though that may be 
expected.

I have to have a victory somewhere I suppose. 

...
I will not lay down. I will get up. I will resolve. 
I will never be finished. Merely, able to learn from
the events and walk forward with the lessons. 

I could do no less.

...
But still.... I felt like crying after.
I walked away. ...

Totally unprepared to have a female walk with me.
I wasn't in the social mood and it made it worse when 
I realized I must have come off pretty down.. Which I was of course..
but that's not something that you want to be in front
of the female whom I laugh with most days I'm in COMM.

...
The day progressed from there... I kept that residual anger
through out the rest of the day and didn't make much of
a dent in my paper writing. I'm sure I'll catch up on 
the weekend. It will be one of thems working weekends I 
suspect. 

I attempt to help Joy with scheduling...
I watch a movie in the library. Shawn comes by.
I go eat at the Chineses Place near Joy's.
I visit her. Daves over there. 

Despite, knowing I shouldn't I find myself at
the Red house with the usual social distractions.
But of the good idea I suspose. 

The night ends.. I wind up having to walk a great
distance to and from houses.

And that's why my feet hurt. 

What a day.

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