The Video Sampler

1.08.2007

Movie: Change of Perspective

January 8, 2007 Monday 2:50 PM Movie: Change of Perspective



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Think more carefully.
I can see that it can be addicting. But what is the alure? For humans it must be interaction. Or perhaps the fact that the in-world currency can be converted to real money at appout 309 L$ to the 1$ That's like a 1/3 of a penny for each game dollar. ... I was tired earlier and when the phone rang I thought that somehow I had set it to go off on purpose.. But that was a dream so I must have hung up on someone earlier. I think my dreams, though faintly remembered, played out like a game. There was game thinking as in I had do so and so tasks and I had just gotten past a hard part but then I messed up or realized they all had to happen again and what not. Who called me then? You know, after sending out e mails and not getting anything back at the begining of break I gradually faded off the attempts to contact people. Clearly, no one had any time or wanted to make the effort so instead of waking up thinking about it I turned nearly completely away. ... Or perhaps only for the last 48 to 72 hours. 5:00 PM WAIT! I saw Shell and Jackie! Yay! Though it was on my way back I didn't get a chance to really talk. But they are here. 9:18 PM When I suddenly hear something that knocks my emotional block off I tend to feel it in my stomack. I mean right there it hurts. And I feel so tired. It's more speculative than concrete but the fear of the thing has always been there. I suppose that compouned with some what disillusioned feelings towards my web work are getting to me. Am I just running in a wheel here? Will my efforts every become what I want them to become? Or am I stuck. I know I'm working hard. I can tell because I constantly feel the challenge. I constantly want to live up to that challenge. There isn't a pep rally for me. There isn't a cheerleader for me. I just have to pick myself up out of the dirt and debrie and continue forward. It helps to document the journey. It helps to capture to tape. I feel a bit better when I do. As though the time isn't fully wasted on bad feelings. They could be useful and become something more. ... It's hard sometimes, you know?

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