The Video Sampler

10.31.2007

OFF RECORD

OFF RECORD

10.30.2007

Crying over the Keyboard.

October 30, 2007 Tuesday Crying over the Keyboard.

The Long Sigh
How fitting that for Halloween I would deal with the scariest thing.

There are so many media channels for which to use today. People always have a bias towards in person talking. Even when I feel I can better express my perspective in other ways.

Tapes always have 2 sides. ... but really they don't. Topographically speaking there is only one side to a piece of paper... the outside.

I'm afraid to talk to those whom have seen so vividly the other side of a conflict for I am afraid that they may never understand.

And so I have tendency to cast out something to explain my side before a discussion with those people.. should I manage to work up the nerve to reach out and explain before my personality is skewed so far that I can barely glance at anyone who walks by.

The story is a long and complex one. But the parts that concern the recent actions are merely the tip of the iceberg.

The day I broke up with her was not on her birthday.
It was the same day she decided to go to the 5th floor of the tallest building in Humobldt County and sit un top of the railing.

I had found her there by chance for I was hurting quite a bit as well. And I liked nice views when I feel pain inside.

I turned and gasped at seeing her there. And thought.... I can't let her do anything. So I stayed there holding her rather than tending to classes. She told me to go but I knew what was more important.

The worst part of it all is that it is a horrible reason to breakup.. to have to break up. To say that I've spent so long with her crying in my arms and telling me she doesn't want to exist have taken their toll on my consciousness. It begins to make me question myself.

And she feels so alone for everyone she every lets in she finds they can't handle it and they leave her. What motivation does she have to keep living?
There are no easy answers.

But on that balcony when I held her tried heavy crying body...
I felt trapped.
I want her to be safe... I'm happy when I feel she is safe.

And so I could not leave her. Instead, I walked her step by step... down the stairs of HSU until she collapses in front of the pick up drop of point near the library. She laid there while I biked home to bring the car back and take her home.

And when I finally went home I could only lay listless in bed thinking about my best friend and wishing that she could actually be okay without me.. but being terrified that that wasn't the case.
.... I called later that evening and picked her up.

When she was over that night we were both missing each other. And both crying.. for breaking up was not what we really wanted. I wanted my first real love to be someone whom could walk with me through life... but I found it increasingly difficult despite anything I did to manage to walk with her.

And so we made up a bit while I felt I had no other options. She must have seen the warning signs but chose not to believe them. The way I would talk somberly. The moments when my gaze would move off into the distance.

She had told me about how important her birthday was.
And I said I would take her to dinner. And I spent the whole week prior making a movie with happy moments of us together. I thought that all the hours I spent on that would give her something to watch when I couldn't be around.

Apparently, I was wrong for it didn't matter at all. All those hours I spent putting together a montage of us being together to show she had someone were wasted in a moment when I split secondly decided to stay elsewhere.

Don't you see? I knew I had made the mistake to stay away and I felt it in my soul. I felt the worst. But nothing would ever have gotten through to her. None of my words would ever have told her and had her believe me. That I felt responisble for her because she only hung out with me, and let me in on her wishes in non existance.

The truth is I didn't break up with her on her birthday. I broke up with her weeks before. But she realize till then.

It it might have been the worst way for things to turn out but I'm sure at some point something like this was going to happen. After I had made my mistake I was to afraid to go and find what I knew I would find.

It had already been so long because she also tell sme she wants me to be happy. She tells me to do what makes me happy. But I know its one thing that she says that and another to see her try to say it through teary eyes.

The hours dragged on while I tried to distract myself.. but in the end I had to go home.

In which after I arrived before I had even walked into my door she pulls up. Yelling and crying in her car forcefully handing me a stuffed toy I won her at the county fair months ago.

I knew she couldn't be alone tonight. So I begged her to come in and stay. I told her I understand that she thinks I'm a jerk and I don't deny anything but I pleaded that she not go.

So hours went by with her yelling but I held her in my arms despite the fact. Despite the fact it hurt so much. I told her she could be in my arms when she needed them. Whether be it upset, or happy, or sad. They were there to hold her.

At this point I had been up for nearly 24 hours. And she could see I was exhausted. I knew that if I fell asleep she would leave. She told me so. So I fought to stay awake. I knew, that if I had to, I would stay up all night for her to make sure she would be here. To make sure she would be alive.

When Monday came I decided not to go to class. Because I knew she wouldn't be out of bed. Instead I called her and went out to do errands. And asked if I could bring her food. I know she doesn't eat when she gets like this. So my mission was to bring food and cheer her up enough so that she would eat. And for a while that day we were both happy but soon when she knew I would have to leave she began to cry once more.

I know it looked cold. It felt cold. I could not wait any longer to leave that day for I can not always wait for to be on a temporary up swing before I must return to my responsibilities.
It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. And I walked to the front door then stopped upon hearing her crys growing louder. And my face writhed into the biggest frown I had ever had. And after the longest pause I pushed through the door and left.

After I had driven to the grocery store parking lot. I got a call from her. She sounded more together but terrifed for she thought I was going to leave her life. I told her that I was still in her life. And she tells me she has seen it all before. People say they will be in her life and then leave. But I never make such statements for I told her that, "I am in her life right now." And to not worry about that for now. I would never say something I could not stand behind.

I told her a long time ago. I told her the first time we really spoke. I said I'd be what ever you needed me to be. And a boyfriend is what she wants me to be.
But a life line is what she needs me to be.
And so far I believe I have kept my word through all the years I have known her. All the years I held her when she cried.

I do not know what the future is and I will not agree to anything that I am unsure that I can come through with. Which means that anything I do say I know I can stand behind.

So all I can say right is a reassurance that, "I AM in your life!" I haven't left. So please keep living so I can keep seeing your smile.
The world needs it as I am sure so many other whom love you need it.

.... but here is where the story become interactive.
For those whom read my perspective have a choice.
I'm hoping that by this point they do not feel taking sides is any solution at all. I would hope that they would work with me to provide a larger support network for my best friend in the world.
The only one whom can start a sentence and have me finish it.

I want anyone to see her walking down the hall to give her a hug for simply getting out of bed is the greastest struggle ever for her. And she is trying so hard to stay with us all the least any of us could do is put aside some time to give her the hugs she needs to live through the day.

For it is breaking my heart to know that I can not be the one to single handedly keep her with us.
So please for the love of god.

As a guy whom is typing this from his soul and is now crying over the keyboard.

Please for the love of God help her! And help me.
Because I love her so much and I always want to know she is in someones life. And let her know that I still want her to be in mine too. Even if I have failed her so much. I don't want my failure to be a reason for her to leave this world.

......

And now I will have to go to school before anyone has ever read this and take those looks from those whom do not know my perspective. And though I am afraid they will be accusing me of ruining her birthday I hope they will read this later and realize the full complexity of the story before they decide never to talk to me again.


Very Sincerely,

Chris B. Stones


I've been real afraid this October.

10.28.2007

Stay on the planet


We could always complete each others sentences. And I hope she stays on the planet.

10.26.2007

Friday

October 26, 2007 Friday 3:18 PM

"One man's Fact is another man's Fiction"



I made sure to find a way to clean my room and talk.


Good idea?


well until you want to take it off. Removal is a bit difficult.

10.23.2007

Friend on Myspace?

October 23, 2007 Tuesday 1:10 PM

The day I meet a friend on myspace....
... will be the day the spam is smart enough
to hold a conversation.

Donate to Wikipedia

10.20.2007

Radio Silence

October 20, 2007 Saturday 4:50 PM Radio Silence

It may of well have been like passing on the other side of the moon. For the first time I turned off my home phone ringer... and set the cell to vibrate and slept. I do not know how long... but I know I really really needed to sleep. And so I made absolutely sure that I could. I even went up stairs and asked my neighbor to quiet the music.

And just now I got up again... while realizing that 6 o'clock was going to be approaching. So I decided to restart the day again.

Today had been the infamous GWPE or (Graduate Writing Proficiency Examine) and I spent a solid 2 hours writing "by hand" in the neatest writing that I could. And I was glad to be done. After that I was fairly exhausted and I made a trip into town to find a hair cut but was left empty handed. ... No cuts on weekends.

So, then I biked to a grocery store after a few other odd happenings. And was so tired and so worn and so hungry that when I returned I was not in a good mood.

And so I turned everything off. And napped and now I'm all better. I think.

10.19.2007

The Best of Chris World!




The Best of Chris World! 

This is a look back at some of the great moments in Chris World Movie Making history. It's a Bunny I sing in reverb all the time. During My Break (The old version before the new 'better' music is added) Continuity Errors Funny movie errors. News Cast One No Idea I have a lab of scientist working round he clock to get me a date. And it has the line, "This is Chris World. It's a family show" The Feel of a Shot What is the difference between... EXT. FIELD - DAY MALE walks to or away from camera. ANd INT. HALLWAY - DAY MALE walks to or away from camera. What sort of feel do you get from the same basic information? Ready to Rumble Router The fight is on when my new router refuses to work. Get a look at the part when it whacks me. This movie also includes one of the movie previews. Intermission 3 Video Overlays I show how to add CG effects to movies and it helps a lot of people. Digital Addiction I don't like that 'game' that much but the effect is why I include it. For Pet Lovers Guitar my me. It also features the cat that opened the screen door and let itself in. More Like Zay This movie incorporates footage from last break. Pure Chris World Can you figure out what Chris World is yet? The Music Thorn I lament the fact I'm forced to use only music I have the rights to. The Cuts make it more erratic to convey my mood on the issue. July Rewound My memory has a lot of static in it. The Unfilmables Watch out for that black box... And check out the hilarious voice changing. Chris and KJ Keep watching for the CG add ins. And the hilariousness of the bleeping. Jump Cuts Sadie didn't know why I was acting the way I was at the beginning. Life Review March The Journal Effect. Old Measurement Movie Very old school. Take a look at young Chris. Trust me... better ones exist in the future.

10.18.2007

Google Search Future

October 18, 2007 Thrusday 11:56 AM Google Search Future

I wish I could type in a url and know the future. I keep wanting to know what is going to happen to me so I know if my here-and-there pessimism is somehow justified. I'm usually happy but that is when I'm not thinking about the future possibilities that await me. Talk about TMT.

Moodle skills are godsend though. I have skills that fit well into a university. And I fit will into universities for I like the nature of the place. Also, education is generally funded during hard times. And since the skills are world wide I could go elsewhere. Not to mention the Moodle HQ is in Australia.

Watch this video and do yourself and the world a favor and DON'T vote for Giuliani.

Notes Section

Fact Check on Giuliani http://www.talkingpointsmemo.com/ Oh I completely forgot about the electoral college.. Just vote for the guy whom shouldn't vote for him will ya? I didn't know I was almost as old as an NES. NES Retirement 1985 - 2007 http://digg.com/add-digg?OTC-widget Aww you little fish.
Ah the country that sold its letters... "The State of Tuvalu had, for example, sold the rights to the "dot tv" appellation." Link

10.17.2007

Am I getting Sick?

October 17, 2007 Wednesday Am I getting Sick?

It is hard to tell for I spent the latter half of this day with a headache and its company grew old fairly fast. I tried drinking water. I tried sleeping and I tried relaxing in a hot shower. ... All those things help but as soon as my heart rate moves up or I tense again its back so I'm trying not to stress over anything.

I just need to get quietly through the night and perhaps rest in tomorrow to make sure I'm okay. All the while I can't seem to find those vitamin drops I had last time. At least I have an arsenal of cough syrup should I wake up under siege.



I've been thinking about a certain sequence today.

"When I die and become fossilized I hope I'm not hung up over a food bar"

Commensalism
Notes Section

Geometry Police Call Dispatch binascii has the encoding I need
video

10.16.2007

Everything

October 16, 2007 Tuesday 3:08 PM Everything.

Looking for a solution is part of creating a solution. It's been about an hour and a half and I think I now know how to solve one of the FTN basic problems


now past Midnight

But I've done it. Everything I set out to do before the end of my night. That hasn't happened for a long long time. I can't even remember the last time I succeeded in completing everything before bed. I only wish I could have spent time on one more thing... my movie. If I push my bedtime to 12:45 am or so I could do it. That's not impossible given that I'm able to sleep well enough most nights to wake up alright at 7:30am.

Notes Section

I call this clever marketing. Whack a Murdock He's just everywhere isn't he? SIGGRAPH PAPERS ROCK! Rendering for an Interactive 360-Degree Light Field Display OR 3D Star Wars style! Wrinkled Flames and Cellular Patterns
It's nice to have a notes section. Sort of a way to say, This is what I didn't bother to really write. So don't expect anything. Course, I lost my note tags for a while so stuff should have been in here but it wasn't.
This weeks programming homework took 2 hours. Not bad. Kind of a rush job though.

10.15.2007

Apples?

October 15, 2007 Monday 11:12 PM Apples?
Someone writes Chris:

> what are you feelings towards apples?

Apples?

I suppose your asking whether I'm pro apple or con apple, eh? Since I do not know what context your asking me this in. I'm finding it difficult to come to a resolution regarding the matter of apples.

If your speaking of the edibility. I tend not to eat fruit. I eat vegetables, I love pastas I love candy bars. I started loving water after 8 trips to the dentist.


So the general answer is no I do not like to eat apples.

I do like to go to AppleBee's the restaurant. I happen to have a 25 dollar gift card left over from my birthday. However, I don't like driving myself there. ( I tend not to like to drive into Eureka. My mind simply doesn't like to go 'one way'


And now, may I ask why you ask?
And if so, then Why do you ask?
-chris

10.14.2007

Criticism should NOT be Anonymous

October 14, 2007 Sunday Criticism should NOT be Anonymous

MORNING
Hosted via blip... I feel like going back to blip... because the tube lets me down so. But my hit count went up to 40 probably because I have 50 subscribers via the tube... so I've always been reluctant to leave... however, I like the blip player better and I'm ready to cave to have my video re-hashed into it.

I awoke with a lot on my mind.


Criticism should not be Anonymous

Here is why.
I understand criticism is a useful thing. It can be heard and then accepted or rejected based on the suggestion merits. And I do mean it needs 'suggestion' Simply insulting intelligence is not criticism. Also, once criticism is delivered.. It is up to me to gather how much weight I should put on the opinion I must know from what authority it arises.

For example, should I receive a comment from a math professor about my math papers being in a horrible format. I would take that criticism and adjust as needed. If nothing else I would reanalyze why I do things the way I do.

If a comment stems from a Anonymous source I can not decided whether that person has alternative motives or is an expert in their field. (even if that field is human social endeavors) Therefore I only have the merits of the comment on which to judge whether or not it is of value to me. More likely I would re-evaluate why I do things and decided whether being made aware of them is worth reconsideration. Often, I do not find that is the case.

However, I am talking of localized human criticism. Not criticism about government or institutions which would require anonymousity in order to protect those whom state their opinions. So the distinction between sorts of criticism is important.

In the end I tend to examine all possibilities even it I'm emotionally blindfolded for a while. Later on all ideas sink in to some extent. Ultimately, I get to do what I wish with anything that comes my way.

Listen with a grain of salt....
and in the movie I have a grain of salt next to me.
Notes Section

Word Count this year: 78857 words (so far) 273 Title Lines Yeah, and behold my powers of parsing. As meek as they are ;) 1: January 1, 2007 Monday 3:40 PM Movie: It's a New Year 93:January 2, 2007 Tuesday 2:50 PM Movie: For Pet Lovers 145:January 3, 2007 Wednesday 3:26 AM Movie: Meet Jackie 195:January 4, 2007 Thursday 3:25 AM The Night Quest Mov: Saving Memory 289:January 5, 2006 Friday 1:26 AM Movie: Video Overlay 334:January 6, 2006 Saturday Movie: Into the Past 376:January 7, 2006 Sunday 391:January 7, 2007 Sunday Strength of Character Mov: Movie Texture Movie 452:January 8, 2007 Monday 2:50 PM Movie: Change of Perspective 515:January 9, 2007 Tuesday Movie: Digital Addiction 544:January 10, 2007 Wednesday The Coldest Night. 647:January 11, 2007 Thursday 8:01 PM Hard Sometimes 683:January 12, 2007 Friday Sad. Mov:Too Tired 727:January 13, 2007 Saturday 9:55 PM Failed Movie Composition 763:January 14, 2007 Sunday 6:15 PM Movie Devil Sync 822:January 15, 2007 Monday 9:21 PM End of Break Mov: Irony 861:January 16, 2007 Tuesday 10:43 PM Movie: Cold, Codec and Color 910:January 17, 2007 Wednesday 3:20 PM Mov: Color Animation 960:January 18, 2007 Thursday Movie: Cubes, Messages and Protein 972:January 19, 2007 Friday 8:46 PM Movie: Liz in Brief 1040:January 20, 2007 Satuday 1:09 AM 1100:January 21, 2007 Sunday 11:46 AM Net Withdrawal 1185:January 22, 2007 Monday Movie: Movie Notes 1251:January 23, 2007 Movie: Handy Volume 1309:January 24, 2007 Wednesday 11:00 PM Mov: Ready to Rumble Router 1329:January 25, 2007 Thursday 1376:January 25, 2007 Thursday Movie: Google Search 1433:January 26, 2007 Friday Mov:Just an Announcement 1498:January 27, 2007 Saturday 12:31 PM Biblio Mind 1609:January 28, 2007 Sunday 1:06 PM Talk to Delta Waves 1665:January 29, 2007 5:37 PM Losing Ground 1735:January 30, 2007 Tuesday 8:27 PM Poetic Thought 1865:January 31, 2007 Wednesday My World 1937:February 1, 2007 Thursday Buttons All Day 1976:February 2, 2007 Friday 7:23 PM Sacred Stage 2080:February 3, 2007 Saturday 12:48 PM So What? 2176:February 4, 2007 Sunday 11:21 AM The Gym 2241:February 5, 2007 Monday Knock Out Juice 2328:February 6, 2007 Tuesday 7:13 PM The Feel of a Shot 2377:February 7, 2007 Wednesday 7:22 PM Between Dead and Awake 2407:February 8, 2007 Thursday 11:56 PM Untitled 2458:February 9, 2007 Friday 9:58 PM Mov: Filming Fridays 2494:February 10, 2007 Saturday 8:18 AM Scatter Thought 2627:February 11, 2007 Sunday 8:36 PM Untitled Again 2654:February 12, 2007 Monday A Monday 2747:February 13, 2007 Tuesday Half Deaf Day 2829:February 14, 2007 V Day? 2858:February 15, 2007 Thursday 6:00 PM No Idea Commentary 2925:February 16, 2007 Friday Movie: Sadie Birds of Past 3038:February 17, 2007 Saturday Horrible Saturday 3146:February 18, 2007 Sunday 12:57 PM Intermission 14 3204:February 19, 2007 Monday The ? Movie 3275:February 20, 2007 Tuesday ? with comments 3312:February 21, 2007 Wednesday What the Inverse? 3402:February 22, 2007 Thrusday 7:41 PM Hope for the World 3481:February 23, 2007 Friday Definition 3553:February 24, 2007 Saturday 12:23 PM 3634:February 25, 2007 Sunday Intermission 16 3685:February 26, 2007 Monday 4:16 PM Giant Intermission 3739:February 27, 2007 Tuesday A Day *sigh 3860:February 28, 2007 Wednesday Who is Shirine? 3912:March 1, 2007 Thursday Good Day at Work Mov:February 4017:March 2, 2007 Friday Day of Links 4045:March 2, 2007 Friday 4:25 PM 4140:March 3, 2007 Saturday 1:07 PM Just a Day 4164:March 4, 2007 Sunday Consumer Crazy 4267:March 5, 2007 Monday The Ironic Ear 4373:March 6, 2007 Tuesday 9:29 PM Computer Science 4406:March 7, 2007 Wednesday Context Free 4495:March 8, 2007 Thursday 9:12 PM Simulation Basis 4630:March 9, 2007 Friday 2:17 AM News Cast 2 4690:March 10, 2007 Saturday 12:21 PM 1st Day of Break 4772:March 11, 2007 Sunday 1:46 PM Intermission 19 4856:March 12, 2007 Monday 4:43 PM Special Composite 4913:March 13, 2007 Tuesday Untitled 4945:March 14, 2007 Movie: *M 5012:March 15, 2007 Thursday 1:20 PM 5036:March 16, 2007 Friday 5:47 PM Human and Computer 5052:March 17, 2007 Saturday 3:26 PM 2nd to Last Day 5169:March 18, 2007 Sunday 3:02 AM On a Quest? 5218:March 19, 2007 Monday 5:12 PM 2 Hours Sleep Mov:Narrator 5358:March 20, 2007 End of an Era? or just a Lull? 5465:March 21, 2007 Wednesday 7:03 PM feel... insubstantial 5524:March 22, 2007 Thursday Just Footnotes 5574:March 23, 2007 Friday 8:52 PM 5579:March 24, 2007 Saturday 1:33 PM What did I do today? 5606:March 25, 2007 Sunday 2:17 PM The Difficulties of these Times 5656:March 26, 2007 Monday 5736:March 27, 2007 Tuesday Null Eventful 5793:March 28, 2007 Wednesday The Nature of Worry 5881:March 29, 2007 Thursday 5931:March 30, 2007 Friday 3:42 AM Past Midnight Oil. 5990:March 31, 2007 Saturday 4:46 PM 5997:April 1, 2007 Sunday 7:26 PM Jokes on Me 6033:April 2, 2007 Non Fiction 6098:April 3, 2007 Tuesday 6150:April 4, 2007 Wednesday 6185:April 6, 2007 Away Journal 6188:April 7, 2007 Missed Entry 6192:April 8, 2007 Dazed and Tired 6218:April 9, 2007 6228:April 10, 2007 The Text Desert 6292:April 11, 2007 Wednesday 6327:April 12, 2007 Thursday Free Play (GF) 6376:April 13, 2007 Friday Girl Friend Acquired 6427:April 14, 2007 Girl Friend (for half a day) 6436:April 15, 2007 Sunday 1:27 PM 6448:April 16, 2007 Afternoon Headache 6461:April 17, 2007 Papers for the Next Century 6560:April 18, 2007 Nothing Much 6618:April 19, 2007 Defining Moments 6691:April 20, 2007 Excerpt from 2002 6736:April 21, 2007 Saturday 10:56 AM Protected by Law 6870:April 22, 2007 Sunday 3:15 AM Flask Problems 6964:April 23, 2007 Troubled Thoughts and Times 7015:April 24, 2007 Grace Under Fire 7067:April 25, 2007 Science Project 7154:April 26, 2007 Storage Dreams 7229:April 27, 2007 After the fact. 7274:April 28, 2007 Housing Headaches 7328:April 29, 2007 Sunday Entry Missing 7334:April 30, 2007 Monday Helpful 12 year old 7401:May 1, 2007 Tuesday 4:21 PM Pain is a necessary evil 7448:May 2, 2007 Wednesday 7:21 Bounce Rate 7588:May 3, 2007 Thursday Inverse Strikes Back 7664:May 4, 2007 Friday No Clearance 7755:May 5, 2007 7759:May 6, 2007 Sunday Not a Room 7817:May 7, 2007 75 Degrees or A Degree of Agony 7918:May 8, 2007 Tuesday 4:32 PM Injury 7943:May 9, 2007 7945:May 10, 2007 Short Entry 7979:May 11, 2007 Missing Time 8036:May 12, 2007 Some people Graduate. 8049:May 13, 2007 Sunday 8051:May 14, 2007 Monday 8088:May 15, 2007 Tuesday UnEasy 8135:May 16, 2007 Wednesday 2:24 PM 8166:May 18, 2007 Friday 2:15 PM 8181:May 19, 2007 Saturday 6:38 AM Alive ON Line 8320:May 20, 2007 Sunday 6:21 AM 8375:May 22, 2007 Prove Your a Smart Human 8413:May 23, 2007 Wednesday 1:15 AM Black Abyss 8489:May 24, 2007 Thursday Live Cast??? 8580:May 25, 2007 HSU No friend of Mine 8713:May 26, 2007 Saturday Fixed Website 8781:May 27, 2007 Sunday 12:19 PM 8802:May 28, 2007 Monday 1:00 PM Not an Addict, then what? 8867:May 29, 2007 Tuesday 5:40 PM Ouch Isn't Enough 8888:May 30, 2007 Wednesday 6:53 PM Off Net? 8942:May 31, 2007 8945:June 1, 2007 8948:June 2, 2007 8951:June 3, 2007 8954:June 4, 2007 8957:June 5, 2007 8960:June 6, 2007 8963:June 7, 2007 8969:June 8, 2007 Friday 9:49 PM Week of Hell at an End? 8992:June 9, 2007 Saturday 11:02 AM After the Storm 9025:June 10, 2007 Sunday 5:56 PM Settle 9065:June 11, 2007 Monday 1:42 PM 9117:June 12, 2007 Net Returns 9142:June 13, 2007 Wednesday 3:08 PM Dismantle? 9222:June 14, 2007 Thursday 1:45 PM I'm Told 9307:June 15, 2007 Saturday Tactical Vagueness 9347:June 16, 2007 By Roads 9377:June 17, 2007 Sunday Untitled 9445:June 18, 2007 Edgy 9462:June 19, 2007 2:46 PM Some Days Just Want to be Bad
9567:June 20, 2007 Wednesday Cell Phone
9615:June 21, 2007 Thursday 7:09PM Live my Life or yours? 9697:June 22, 2007 Best Moment of Day 9742:June 23, 2007 Saturday Farewells 9774:June 24, 2007 Sunday Sub Surface Scattering

9832:June 25, 2007 Monday 12:19 PM 9881:June 26, 2007 I FEEL Bad.

9990:June 27, 2007 Wednesday **** ************ ******** ****** 10051:July 14, 2007 Saturday 10083:July 19, 2007 Thursday 12:34 AM 10118:July 20, 2007 Friday 10:58 AM Threads of Light 10143:July 21, 2007 Sunday 1:11 AM 10169:July 25, 2007 Wednesday 7:42 PM 10262:July 26, 2007 10280:August 4, 2007 Saturday Michelle Liptak While in Home Town 10325:August 5, 2007 Sunday 10339:August 6, 2007 Contact Made with Michelle 10347:August 9, 2007 Thursday 5:42 PM The Summer consumed by Distraction 10446:August 11, 2007 Saturday 3:58 PM Quantum Theory Take I 10472:August 13, 2007 (2:24 am) Polar Graphing! One more time! 10478:August 13, 2007 Monday Notice Being Alone 10509:August 14, 2007 Tuesday 10549:August 15, 2007 Wednesday 10567:August 16, 2007 Thursday 10:53 PM Back 10584:August 17, 2007 Friday Indescribable

10649:August 18, 2007 Saturday 5:03 PM Coding and Waiting 10681:August 19, 2007 Sunday Social Halt
10745:August 20, 2007 Monday 11:19 PM First Day of Class
10768:August 21, 2007 Tuesday 10:31 PM Lost Touch 10811:August 23, 2007 9:48 PM Thursday The New 12 10833:August 24, 2007 Friday Good Day 10920:August 25, 2007 Saturday 3:14 PM I DID IT! 11005:August 26, 2007 Sunday 1:24 PM Zombie Walk 11086:August 27, 2007 Monday 11:40 PM Mini-Adventures
11162:August 29, 2007 Wednesday 9:00 PM Still Forward

11207:August 30, 2007 Thrusday 4:24 PM Body Image 11276:August 31, 2007 Friday Worry

11316:September 1, 2007 Saturday 12:29 PM Musical 11352:September 3, 2007 Monday 11:46 Sick Day 11446:September 4, 2007 Tuesday Own Your Homework! 11521:September 5, 2007 Wednesday 11:11 PM No Entry
11541:September 6, 2007 Thrusday 5:01 PM 11562:September 7, 2007 Friday Salvation at Hand 11601:September 8, 2007 Saturday Catch of the Day 11702:September 9, 2007 Sunday I like my Weekends

11753:September 10, 2007 Monday Virus Code = Free Speech? 11914:September 11, 2007 Tuesday No Time to Post 11958:September 12, 2007 I'm on Miro!
11984:September 14, 2007 Friday Arduous Journey 12035:September 15, 2007 Saturday The Rule of Law 12060:September 16, 2007 Sunday New Camera New Pictures 12104:September 17, 2007 Monday Over Time 12112:September 18, 2007 Tuesday 10:06 PM Sky 12126:September 19, 2007 Wednesday Midi Cable of Power! 12131:September 20, 2007 Thursday 11:20 No Time No Time
12144:September 21, 2007 Friday
12150:September 26, 2007 12155:September 27, 2007 Thursday The Jack Tutorial is coming.
12183:September 28, 2007 Friday What a week.

12221:September 30, 2007 Sunday 11:43 AM Most Relaxed in 10 months

12263:October 1, 2007 Monday 10:14 PM 12291:October 4, 2007 Thursday 11:08 PM Back?

12304:October 5, 2007 Friday 11:56 PM Solar Updraft Towers 12338:October 6, 2007 Saturday Saturday Quick Clips
12395:October 7, 2007 Sunday Burned Out
12452:October 8, 2007 12472:October 9, 2007 Tuesday The Storm? 12569:October 10, 2007 Wednesday Today in Brief (really brief) 12593:October 11, 2007 Thursday The Good Catch 12664:October 13, 2007 Sunday No Thumb Nails?
12676:October 14, 2007 Sunday Criticism should not be Anonymous

10.13.2007

No Thumb Nails?

October 13, 2007 Sunday No Thumb Nails?

I don't know why I don't yet see movie thumb nails up. That's worse than before. Having a random clip shot was better than nothing.


10.11.2007

The Good Catch

October 11, 2007 Thursday The Good Catch

I speak of ideas as the catch for today yields some good ones. They are some of the most exciting parts of my life for they are the substance of thought and the beacon of existence for me. They live on when I don't.


Later

I wanted to write up all these ideas nicely... but I'm so tired and worn by the end of my day I can't bring myself to do it. So they go up not as polished thoughts but as notes. It's really ashame.

Notes Section

The Civil Mind. Residual Essence (The Soul Machine) My soul runs on Linux. The Beauty of Program Write poem, a story.. a novel? But write a program and watch the wondrous things that result. Is this is is this not on parse with other great literary works? I was thinking about the swarm script a program written that makes objects in blender appear to swarm. I'm amazed at how it was designed.. who did they figure out what swarming was? How can someone study it? Despite the technicality of copyright programs as literary works. ;) Open Source forever? While closed source code dies off open source may be able to live on and go through hundreds of versions... as society continues to deploy it. What will that bring us? 24 hour service with no one working during the night? As in no one stays up all night. How is that possible? Depends on where the service help call is coming from... across the whole globe. And no one has to stay up all night. ;) ---- I find good conversations for people with people if you can strike up the right things to talk about. Interesting things. Like differing ways humans in different majors view the world. And the problem with thinking your major is the best.

10.10.2007

Today in Brief (really brief)

October 10, 2007 Wednesday Today in Brief (really brief)

Notes Section

Work was stressful. The production film shoot went well. GUY#1: I like the wilderness. Would you look at that? So peaceful and beautiful the great out doors! GUY#2: What are you talking about? That place is full of like a billion creatures trying to kill each other.

10.09.2007

The Storm?

October 9, 2007 Tuesday The Storm?

6:25 PM I was told a storm was coming. And that's more warning than I normally have. I should really check these things. So I expected the power to go out.. which it hasn't yet.. but the internet to Arcata and who knows where else is dead. This prevents the use of cards to purchase goods. I'll remember that for next time. As I hadn't realized that was going to be an issue during the day.

Though there is much reading for classes. I can do having the internet down prevents me from completing certain computer based assignments on time. It's not like I hadn't worked on a lot of the java assignment... but that work that remains requires access to the Java API as well as the ability to look up currency conversion rates... which I could perhaps just make up given the circumstances.

Regardless, I keep expecting the power to go out completely.. hence preventing me from typing this on my computer.. but it hasn't yet.. and the only redeeming thing about the warning is the fact the net went down. However long that will be.

I may still write about the thoughts of the day of which I find I had a few due to the fact my research for one of my classes had me resorting to making use of the library in which case I was watching an old video on Computer security the way it was in the 80's. I love watching the old shows like that. They have their charms and I find them thought provoking for their curious predictions and the future of computing id in some case the world I live in today... or at least some portion of it.

So I leave the library thinking about how far I've come in my own understanding of these machines that I find a large number of people are against in one way or another. I wonder just how many? Certainly, more people have a better understanding but I do find those in age category, (more than I would imagine) not being 'computer people' which is okay but they shy away from even discussion of basic computer activities. And I made sure to remind myself not to be so nieve as to think everyone has access all through out the world. ... but I would think that students on a college campus have a vested interest in knowing how to handle the basics of the technology....
It still perplexes me that she seems so against it.

I walk into the instructional math lab of the new 5 story campus building and sit down in the room where grad student math tutors are assisting undergrads in their mathematical endeavors. I find i like to sit amongst these goings on for whatever reason. Maybe it is because I can over hear explanations or I like to be around those whom are helping others while the people they help are calm and thankful. I don't think I'm allowed to help. But I think about it... especially when it was as busy there as it was today.
I also like writing my name in the sign in so that I may help show that the place is useful to people.
Oh yeah, and maybe the fact that they are grad students has something to do with it.... as in they have something interesting going on due to the nature of their work.

Notes Section

It would be nice to have a power back up so that my computer can be shut down gracefully. *wink *wink

10.08.2007

October 8, 2007

October 8, 2007

Every once in a while in your internet surfing career you come across something so internet like it can only be described as... 'perfect for the overly gullible'
The best candidate features.... The Tree Octopus

However, the sad facts remain... All those poor poor students...

On other notes, I felt the work I did to get the comm club website up wasn't appreciated. No one mentioned anything and when I asked if anyone had seen the announcement no one responded. It's like I made all that effort in vain thinking it was going to matter to them that I didn't have it up yet.

10.07.2007

Burned Out

October 7, 2007 Sunday Burned Out

Its a sunny day as I walk out with my math book in hand. And the warm air revitalizes my tired muscles and reassures me that I am alive. I think I spend 70 or 80 or even 90 percent of my time trying to figure things out that I've forgotten to just go out on a sunny day and walk around a bit. How could I have forgotten that?

Its only sunny for a month or so more before the heavy rains come and it grows even colder. I wish I had gotten to be out in it more this year. ....
I need a break from it.. and yet i still have class work to take care of.

I never expected that the communications club website would have taken so long to figure out. And I wanted to get it done so I had something to tell them tomorrow.

Notes Section

Simple Holography Light Value Stereogram Printer Cosmic Rays " Computer companies must take cosmic rays into consideration when designing computers. As components become smaller and more powerful, strikes from high energy cosmic ray particles can do more damage. One result of a cosmic ray strike is called a "single event upset," which occurs when a computer memory cell is hit. This can change the basic units of memory which are made up of patterns of 1’s and 0’s. Computers must be designed to run constant checks to correct for any changes made, such as a 1 suddenly changed to a 0. Another possible result is called a "latch-up." Latch-ups happen when a cosmic ray burns out a component. By shutting down computers every now and then, glitches caused by latch-ups may be repaired. This problem is especially acute for computers aboard satellites, since they are exposed to a higher intensity of cosmic rays than computers on the ground."

10.06.2007

Saturday Quick Clips

October 6, 2007 Saturday Saturday Quick Clips

Ice cold shot glasses... or ice shot glasses?
Brownie making?
Adding myself to the pioneer space plaque
Rejoicing that I'm done with Dentists... for now..


Nothing like simulated fluid to quench your thirst.

And if you don't have a hood ornament consider this.

video

10.05.2007

Solar Updraft Towers

October 5, 2007 Friday 11:56 PM Solar Updraft Towers

Yet, another weekend is upon me and today has been a good day. I'm looking to handle my java programming, math, computer law homework as well as advance the commclub website while making time for blender tutorial writing.

Should be a worth while weekend.. Now if only I can find that quantum mech book I lost.

Notes Section

Solar Tower! I think there is a patent on it. But the mathematics behind it is something to consider. I think he mathematics behind robotic construction methods is something to consider. Build small robots and they build big things. Vortex Engine Is patented as well. Cool stuff though. Video of it!

10.04.2007

Back?

October 4, 2007 Thursday 11:08 PM Back?

I may not have succeeded at everything. But my spirits are high for success. As things will soon be back in place and I may achieve again.

All pieces may be put back together and new inspiration is everywhere I turn.
It's about time

10.01.2007

My eyes, moist

October 1, 2007 Monday 10:14 PM

I wanted to make my movie. I really didn't. But now I don't feel like it. I don't feel like anything. I was upset. I laid my head on the table and didn't lift it. My eyes, moist I contemplated calling.

Instead, I grumbled in agony over things and lamented the fact I no longer felt like doing anything tonight. This went on for a while and then I dropped it and tried my homework reading.

I don't like this.

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