The Video Sampler

11.25.2007

Anti-Social Peace

November 25, 2007 Anti-Social Peace

I feel more at peace. As though I can finally relax.... and it is a shame that that comes right at the end of this so called break. A break I wished I could have ironed out more things with my new site.

But nothing about this break went as I had hoped. And it all awaits the next time I am allowed to progress. ...

Progress works like clockwork when social issues are nullified. At least that is what I find. I find peace when the social world dies down to a slimmer or less. And I began to focus once more on achievement. the very achievement I stake my life on.

It would appear that I am feeling far more anti-socail now that I have seen what can happen from being social first hand. With tight lips I mutter silently to myself about the facts. And I wonder... is it finally over?

Can I finally return to the womb of my mind and start anew? Can this world let do just that?

If I were even to consider to go so far to say I would not go with anyone else anymore... I would soon be betrayed by millions of years of evolutionary strangle holds for its my own hormones that would betray me someday into forcing the lonely hand into tipping the social hat. While I understand that that may be the case for now... I feel turned away.

I feel like the sullen hole left after a mortar blast in black dirt. The smoke rises gradually but nothing is there unscorched.

I feel that even typing betrays me for the first time I'm far to keenly aware of my audience to write with a clear mind. It makes me want to make it harder to read in all the ways that I could find. Be it tactical vagueness.... Turning Tests... or even problems to solve before viewing. Ciphers and other sorts that would seem paradoxical for someone to publish items to the web then wish to make it obscured. ...I shall remind those people that non-local storage is the blessing that i utilize via this method. The readership is a mere secondary experience. ... And perhaps an experience I'm wondering whether I could do without.

2 comments:

Viannah said...

Haha. I know what you mean about having to curb your words because of the people you know will be reading your blog/site. I give you a HUG (virtually). Hope today is better than yesterday.

Sirhc Senots said...

Thanks Vi. Me hope so too.

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