The Video Sampler

11.22.2007

Mourning Sickness

November 22, 2007 Thursday 12:30 PM Mourning Sickness

It's hard to describe that feeling of dreading when I awoke this morning. It was sort of a draining feeling of not wanting to get up or do anything despite the fact I knew I had to. And so I awoke but continued to lay. And then picked up my Hilbert Book and attempted to teach myself the math behind quantum mechanics.

Actually, I made good progress in my understanding but still was not able to shake the feelings. I try not to think about why I am so affected and instead refocus on the tasks at hand.... but every spare moments seems to hold a tinge of the remorseful melancholiness I long to get rid of someday. But in these times I can not.


Though recently my work on the new sites is exciting I find it ironic that I'm not even allowed to get as excited over it as I would have in the past had events not come to pass recently. Now, it seems more laboring without feeling over excited but maybe just a little content when I make software work out. ... What a shame.

Although, one interesting note was the wonderful fact I got to see my journal inside an SQL database and so I was able to query my own entries. This shall make other tasks much easier. And despite the amount of homework that is making the accomplishment of my tasks harder (or at least delayed) I'm not far from styling all the pages and then figuring out a distribution method for the movies via the site. I want to make sure it has a good RSS 2.0 feed with the right data to be used for Miro.

So, the only thing done so far is the installs of all the different software I will be working with to make dailysources a reality and give me more control over my own journaling. I still have not set up the digg style article submission code.... which I am still searching out a solution for. ... At this point I should probably attempt to conclude the break by settling with something simpler... something working well enough to show off at the end in order to gain more support.


....

But wait.... even after all of that..... all of the down I realize life IS far to short to continue to paralyze my emotion. I need to rise again. For it is my duty to succeed at just one simple thing... being alive and moving forward. .... So I go to sleep after this off kilter day.. hopeful. Rather than dead.

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