End of an Era

2008-01-13T18:24:00.001-08:00

The Era of Blogger hosting is over. http://www.welcometochrisworld.com

Seg Fault

2007-12-27T14:12:00.000-08:00

EOF

typo-tastic

2007-12-03T22:38:00.001-08:00

December 3, 2007 Monday typo-tastic

I would like to note for my future refernce that when giving the choice between being hungry an tired and having to chose whether or not to sleep or eat. Sleeping is probabily not the right choice. Eating is a good idea for you gain nutrients and will wake up better rested when you 'finally do sleep. ... I now have the expereince of making the wrong choice and its strange because I've never taken the nap when given the choice of food or nap.

typo-tastic - the description of my typing behavior during internet instant message chats. (Lindsay Dec. 3, 2007)

Facebook study is catching more of my attention. I actually began looking around at other applications last night as I did research for how to write my own. And I relayed out a question that I didn't really intend to e mail people with. But it happened. I realized that facebook couples content and feeds in a way that few people even have to know what a feed is to use. It therefore becomes an excellent way to create entertaining material that I know will pop up on screens of people I know on campus and perhaps much further away.

Flickering Lights

2007-12-02T22:45:00.001-08:00

December 2, 2007 Sunday Flickering Lights

The flickering Lights tell me its time to post... even if it's a little premature. But in the effort to make sure to text in some words for today I know not what to speak of it. So I will not speak but merely generate a place holder for later reference.

Quiet Tired but Fine

2007-12-01T04:12:00.000-08:00

December 1, 2007 Saturday Quiet Tired but Fine

It's late now and wind begins to pick up here and there outside. And I await the computers next move on the chess board next to me. I sit in the crisp warmth of my office/living room/kitchen and breath relieve at the fact my final java programming assignment is done.

I have much to do to manage my digital accounts and much much more work to be done to wrap of classes but for the moment. I relax as much as I can knowing I have been through a lot in the past several months and I'm looking forward to more clam and predictable events.

Sim City has a vastly different feel when I actually am old enough to contemplate the games simulation and identify just was is going on. ... However I have no idea why I'm getting traffic reports after I bulldozed every street. Well the problem went away once the population went down to zero.

Notes Section


When kids become grown ups.

Punch Out Rock Out 
via collegehumor.com


I never saw this
until now.

I never thought of skating on
treadmills.
Impressive.
8 treadmills 4 guys
viral net classic

Nothing

2007-11-29T22:48:00.000-08:00

November 29, 2007 Thursday 6:30 PM Nothing

Notes Section




Data Discrimination

I like the sound of that.
Though I hate what it stands for.

November 28, 2007

2007-11-28T23:51:00.001-08:00

November 28, 2007 Wednesday 8:57 PM

Notes Section


150 that matter


What I would like to do


I always wondered what those things 
were called.

Water Strider


Sounds like an ample
supply of interesting mathematics.

Crack of a Whip

But be sure to follow the 
trail to the papers..

The Fellow is from University of Arizona
"# Whip waves (PDF)
T. McMillen and  A. Goriely, Physica D, 2003
# The shape of a cracking whip (PDF)
A. Goriely and T. McMillen, 
Phys. Rev. Lett 2002, 88, # 244301.(PDF)
"



Brain Teaser



Thou Shall Post! a Link!

Avoidant Personality Disorder

2007-11-27T23:40:00.001-08:00

November 27, 2007 Tuesday 12:03 PM Avoidant Personality Disorder

"Some studies report prevalence rates of up to 45% among the people with a generalized anxiety disorder and up to 56% of the people with an obsessive-compulsive disorder (Van Velzen, 2002)." Avoidant_personality_disorder

Notes Section




I enjoy living in the world
of humanoid robots 
Twendy One
Watch the demo video.
and instant
answers to my questions...
Answers to my questions

I just wish there wasn't so much strife.



Nice example
of control engineering

Outlined Day

2007-11-26T23:48:00.001-08:00

November 26, 2007 Monday 10:26 PM Outlined Day
Here's a day at a glance.

Three Good Things for Today

Discovered Awesome Quantum Mechanics Book
Obtained Reg Code for Microcontroller Class
Was a Hot Shot in Java

Philosophical Idea

Subjectivity Rests in Objectivity

My Knowledge Obtainment Algorithm

If you can't know. Explain why.
If you can know explain how
If you could know but don't know yet.. Find a process that will lead you to the idea

Notes Section



A few lines of Code?
Millions of loss dollars.
I love this major.

Great Disasters in Computer History


I can't believe
I have to wait till 2015.
Dang. Humanities last chance
might get here too late.

ITER (The Movie Presentation)


Mystery Swan?
Zara?
Rosie? No
Lindsay?

Anti-Social Peace

2007-11-25T23:55:00.000-08:00

November 25, 2007 Anti-Social Peace

I feel more at peace. As though I can finally relax.... and it is a shame that that comes right at the end of this so called break. A break I wished I could have ironed out more things with my new site.

But nothing about this break went as I had hoped. And it all awaits the next time I am allowed to progress. ...

Progress works like clockwork when social issues are nullified. At least that is what I find. I find peace when the social world dies down to a slimmer or less. And I began to focus once more on achievement. the very achievement I stake my life on.

It would appear that I am feeling far more anti-socail now that I have seen what can happen from being social first hand. With tight lips I mutter silently to myself about the facts. And I wonder... is it finally over?

Can I finally return to the womb of my mind and start anew? Can this world let do just that?

If I were even to consider to go so far to say I would not go with anyone else anymore... I would soon be betrayed by millions of years of evolutionary strangle holds for its my own hormones that would betray me someday into forcing the lonely hand into tipping the social hat. While I understand that that may be the case for now... I feel turned away.

I feel like the sullen hole left after a mortar blast in black dirt. The smoke rises gradually but nothing is there unscorched.

I feel that even typing betrays me for the first time I'm far to keenly aware of my audience to write with a clear mind. It makes me want to make it harder to read in all the ways that I could find. Be it tactical vagueness.... Turning Tests... or even problems to solve before viewing. Ciphers and other sorts that would seem paradoxical for someone to publish items to the web then wish to make it obscured. ...I shall remind those people that non-local storage is the blessing that i utilize via this method. The readership is a mere secondary experience. ... And perhaps an experience I'm wondering whether I could do without.

Nothing Left

2007-11-24T01:49:00.000-08:00

November 24, 2007 Nothing Left

I write this as the last grains of sand fall through the night. I do not really want to look at my computer anymore. I have had enough attempting to do things and should probably begin to consider a walk through a wooded forest or a stroll on a beach with a notepad and a camera. .... I shall retire for the evening... and extract my 401k plan from dreamland.

Sick

2007-11-23T01:11:00.000-08:00

November 23, 2007 Friday Sick

I had tried to go to bed early tonight. I had spent most of the day with a throbbing headache and was starting to feel slight nausea... so I thought sleeping was better than trying to finnish my history paper. And so fell into bed hoping to sleep it all off.

But I awoke to a mysterious phone call. No message. I thought maybe it was Joy and called her to see if something was wrong. She had said the power was out at her place and perhaps she needed something. So I called. And it was not her.

I went back to bed and after I had fallen... I was awoken again by a phone call. This time I was shocked to hear whom it was.

I tried to go back to bed again but this time I could not sleep very well. So I got up and started typing. .... I suppose I'll work again on the paper so I do not wake up with such a thing over my head.

You know, I wish I could go back to that beautiful place. The place where the water meets the land and the rock... but I couldn't bring myself to go. Its a shame I don't feel I can now. I have a far sadder memory attached to such a place and I can picture myself going and just sitting on a rock .... not being able to enjoy the view.

Notes Section

Math you need for GR

Immigration

Skilled – Independent 
(Migrant) visa (subclass 175)

Martin Dougiamas


Perth, Western Australia

Mourning Sickness

2007-11-22T01:04:00.000-08:00

November 22, 2007 Thursday 12:30 PM Mourning Sickness

It's hard to describe that feeling of dreading when I awoke this morning. It was sort of a draining feeling of not wanting to get up or do anything despite the fact I knew I had to. And so I awoke but continued to lay. And then picked up my Hilbert Book and attempted to teach myself the math behind quantum mechanics.

Actually, I made good progress in my understanding but still was not able to shake the feelings. I try not to think about why I am so affected and instead refocus on the tasks at hand.... but every spare moments seems to hold a tinge of the remorseful melancholiness I long to get rid of someday. But in these times I can not.

Though recently my work on the new sites is exciting I find it ironic that I'm not even allowed to get as excited over it as I would have in the past had events not come to pass recently. Now, it seems more laboring without feeling over excited but maybe just a little content when I make software work out. ... What a shame.

Although, one interesting note was the wonderful fact I got to see my journal inside an SQL database and so I was able to query my own entries. This shall make other tasks much easier. And despite the amount of homework that is making the accomplishment of my tasks harder (or at least delayed) I'm not far from styling all the pages and then figuring out a distribution method for the movies via the site. I want to make sure it has a good RSS 2.0 feed with the right data to be used for Miro.

So, the only thing done so far is the installs of all the different software I will be working with to make dailysources a reality and give me more control over my own journaling. I still have not set up the digg style article submission code.... which I am still searching out a solution for. ... At this point I should probably attempt to conclude the break by settling with something simpler... something working well enough to show off at the end in order to gain more support.

....

But wait.... even after all of that..... all of the down I realize life IS far to short to continue to paralyze my emotion. I need to rise again. For it is my duty to succeed at just one simple thing... being alive and moving forward. .... So I go to sleep after this off kilter day.. hopeful. Rather than dead.

Loss

2007-11-19T20:34:00.000-08:00

November 19, 2007 Monday Loss

How as I do know just how much focus I would lose over the loss of a good friend. A friend I had looked forward to doing so much with. A friend whom cheered me up so much in the brief time that I had known her. This is truly a social disaster and I find it hard for myself to get over the loss.

I find myself with a wandering mind when I know I should be focused. I find myself feeling tired and drained of life from thinking about the loss. I find it hard to focus on my self assigned (but very important) tasks. And I find it troubling that I feel unable to work knowing that there are people whom hate me living in the world.

It wasn't always like this. I was once optimistic and alive with possibilities and it never seemed like friends were things to loss. I know now for I have been broken from my dreamy slumber and it appears that the signifier 'friend' holds a lot more weight than I ever thought.

I suppose now I will have to force myself deeper into my own work.... to escape the mess I have made of social worldly things.

Being Responsible

2007-11-18T20:50:00.001-08:00

November 18, 2007 Sunday Being Responsible

I'm sure she is fairly angry with me. I suppose that's a standard human trait. And I have a feeling she wasn't letting on to it when she left. And so I feel bad having had to do what I did. Knowing how things hurt others but feeling that to say nothing is far worse.

I know this because for my entire life I have always been 'just the friend'. Did I ever think then when given the choice I would opt to be just friends? With everyone? Have my few experiences so far lead me to believe that 'just friends' is where I always was and shall always be? Have I decided that being unattached is more important then gaining from social experience?

I believe I can understand why a lot of social things happen the way they do. I think I can understand now why Vi waited so long to tell me straight out. I had always hoped until that one day when she did. And then it was a like a sledge hammer to my heart. ... I thought I was a fellow whom didn't hurt people.

And all I can think now is how bad I feel. .... Though I swear I did the right thing. Because not talking is never the answer. Because I've heard too many stories where people change behavior hoping that the other person will 'get it' But it doesn't change the guilt I feel now.

The right thing isn't easy to do, nor does it change the way I feel right now. I feel sad, hollow, guilty and remorseful that things happen the way that they do.

If only I was always just the friend and no one cared to have me as anything more... ... well back then things were much much more simple.

Now it just hurts to think about it.
Even more so to long for it.

First day of Break

2007-11-17T00:47:00.000-08:00

November 17, 2007 First day of Break

By now I've had enough breaks with the mentality of researching what I'll do after college to finally get it. to finally bring it all together. I need to set tehse posts apart with a light blue div.

I can now pull out what and how breaks have gone in the past and rehash or explore the trends as I discuss how I'm going about this one.

Notes Section


Using verses keeping
a journal.


I did a review of my journal
in this entry

Farewell 2006

I think I'm very 
different from that Chris
of 2006. And big ways.
In a lot of ways
2007 destroyed some
optimistic aspects of
me.

I didn't realize this next
post had the whole replay reality
thing. 

Empty Walks

Code of the Chris

2007-11-16T00:46:00.000-08:00

November 16, 2007 Code of the Chris Code of the Chris
You are compelled to arrive .5 to 1 hour early to stake out the place.

You must locate bathroom access upon arrival.

Check Locks a minimum of 2 times. (5 recommend)

Always check back for missing items upon
departure.

Memorize your day plan to enact with extreme focus.

Notes Section


I wonder if the computer will
update whenever I mess with 
the .DS_Store 
.... Ballet with icons 
would be fun.

Continued Thinking

2007-11-15T21:19:00.000-08:00

November 15, 2007 Continued Thinking

My thought process continues as I begin to unravel all the complex ideas that ride along with transparency as it has come to be known in my rather extremely small circle of support. The discussion today, hinges on the contemplation of what materials to generate in response to the lack of understanding this topic has. Due to its anger inciting nature I prefer to have all my logic in good order before promoting the tow line.

That is I would prefer to put up some metal plating around my glass house so the stones don't destroy my restful place of living.

So I embark now upon a set of summarizations for myself over just what I should create to unveil this story. I think I must begin by refuting those whom have always told me,

"That everything sounds good in theory but probably doesn't work in real life."

And to you good sirs, you ladies and gentlemen and logic jockeys... to the Backyard Philosophers whom would contemplate this and that with out care or conclusion..
I offer the short Philosophers manifesto, Idea Matters

It provides a window into the past alterations governed by the use of theory and outlines the roles that ideas have played as ideological shifts in history began to alter the course of society. If theory and theorist don't matter than why is there a board of Economics advisers working for the government? It was only after the the stock market crash and the Great Depression that having good economic theory suddenly became important. But the fact is people had learned there lessons and were ready to listen to theory when people were made to realize their fragile well beings were at stake.

The point must be made in order to proceed with any sort of discussions about a society that is right now hypothetical but at the same time eager for discussion. The next piece will need to discuss The Vicious Right to Privacy and its deep rooted and respected place in human life. I can agree it is an important thing but while I propose the arguments for it I will challenge those whom value it with the responsibility to protect it. And I would argue that in order to protect the right you might need to rethink what that right really means. And in the end those whom will steal your privacy can not be stopped themselves without some careful watching. Hypocrisy at its finest? You be the judge but don't ever think you still have a choice as we shall find in the next piece....

The Illusion of Alone

For it is far to easy for people to give up information about themselves for short term gain without contemplating the full scope of their decisions. Your privacy might be there in opinion but not in fact as this world has had a clever way of keeping you in the dark while your information floats free being bought and sold over the market or stock piled in third party nations.
....

Notes Section


Subgroup Disadvantage

If a subgroup favors
and applies how disadvantaged
are they from the rest?


The Rule of History
No more rehashing.

Unequal Process

With all the facts there...
the power rests with how
well anyone can make use
of the information.

Deadly Dissent

Useful Mr. Anonymous 

Empowerment verse Detrimental

Re Imagine the Story Lines

The End of Cheaters

The rise of Reality

Stalkers of the Stalked

The Jerk Ratio


Perfect Study. 
(The End of Stats)

Legislative Loop Hole

Just what does present day
privacy and image control allow?

The Turn Over

How do we get from here to there?
without the police state
tendency?

How much is enough?

Daily Decisions

What policy can you adopt today?
To benefit in your life?

Much is based on 
Only then can
true acceptance begin

The Eyes of God
In gods eyes right?
See's all?
Can you guess what you
would be capable of?
But how careful would you
have to be? For everyone
else has them too.

Play Nice Kids.

Humanity is still growing.
Will it survive long enough?


My other stories are about
programmers in a 
non stereotyped fashion.


Case Study Moodle

Everyone has access to 
the information
but only some choose 
to use it.

Social Networking Sites

Why Roommates Drive you Crazy?

The psychological impact
of non-alone.

Mandatory Peace

Will countries ever get along?
If it's obvious I suppose.



A legal person
how far could a Corporation go
without a human in control?





Now that's interesting...
Obama policy critique.

Solidification

2007-11-14T19:58:00.000-08:00

November 14, 2007 Wednesday Solidification

"I don't negotiate with people whom terrorize me." (Chris 11.13.2007)

I'm told that how much, and what I write is a thermometer of how well I'm doing. Though I'm sure some readers would argue for to them it seems I have a split personality over what I write and what I talk to them about on the phone. I believe they feel it is skewed towards harsher facts in text and more mellow phone conversations. But I can not be certain for I am not them.

Personally, I thought that the ability to post a movie met I was at the peek of my routine-ness for it meant I was taking care of everything and still had managed my time enough to be able to spend 3 hours working on something else. But lately, posting is difficult.. but slowly turning around.

I debate with myself over whether or not to create a movie mourning a bit for how things once were and demonstrating the seriousness of how things are now. I think it's because I'd like to post something in recognition that although it may look like things are normal they don't feel entirely that way. And any upbeat excitement I display in a movie may or may not be as genuine as it appears....
But then again, I think I'd rather wait until I could handle showing up in a movie and being the way that I look instead of looking the way I wish I could be.

As I walked about today, my mind was on fire with thought. I spent a considerable amount of the walking to and from class in a huff contemplating all the things that have happened to me as I move through this existence.
And I believe I was reaching a point of solidification for what I am to do about it all.

As it dawned on me, in my mulling, that I was doomed either way I went. The world would love to tear itself apart with me in or out of it. And I realized that its present course almost assured it. It was at that point that I decided that proposing a way out. A solution. Was far better than sitting back and letting the world destroy me without a single punch thrown on my behalf.

And so my thoughts turned towards a curious little, yet complicated notion about the best way to banish misleading information from the world. And to not stop at that, but to proceed forward and show light upon all areas of the ugliness of society where ever human begins feel they can feed in the ick of the dark.

I do feel that once revealed, those individuals whom form the grime of society will scatter like roaches.

But before that day comes... if it ever does.
I know I will take my stand and fight for it for the rest of my life.

Because I can not stand everyone getting away with everything forever.

It must end.

Notes Section


Empirical History 
IS
the only History

..
If I was president... I would....
put in a system of direct 
democracy for the Executive
 branch 
so that my decisions were
 the peoples.
They could never refute 
the high gallop poles for
 they would be
the ones whom decided.

Talk to my Ghost.
If I programmed an AI
with used my journal as a
semantic net I could procure
a very interesting way to discuss
my past life experiences.

My favorite sentence from 
this post...

But then again, I think I'd 
rather wait until I could handle
showing up in a movie and being
the way that I look instead of
looking the way I wish I could be.

Reluctant to Type

2007-11-13T12:05:00.000-08:00

November 13, 2007 Tuesday 10:52 AM Reluctant to Type

It feels different now. I feel reluctant to type and many nights in a row I would miss a post. I'm told its best to get back to normal as soon as possible after traumatic events so that your doing things that are positive and constructive to place some distance in your mind.

Perhaps, the problem with me is that writing and posting seems related to the traumatic events in more than one case and it now feels hard to want to share thoughts or write with the knowledge some people read the postings. ... I had written so long ago about my excitement to have more about thoughts up and since then having been burned for doing it I have a more sober outlook towards sharing.

But I hate it all the same for no one takes the time to offer constructive criticism. They only use the means and information to their own violent ends. And for that I mourn the loss of comfortably posting for there is nothing wrong with truth. But the people whom hear it and disagree with it.

There are certain issues in my life that I will die for. Or at least die while spending my entire life trying to explore and understand their world changing aspects. I know I do not 'yet' exist in world devoid of lies or deception. And I understand hurtles, millions of miles tall stand before humanity and the promise of true freedom wrung about by the retraction of selfish and ill understand rights. But I can not begin to tell you just how much better life would be if you could only give up something you 'think' you love in order to gain The Eyes of God.

For in the end it is truth in an empirically recorded world that lives on unbiased. And for the first time in history.. humans could do it. They could someday chose light. But they seem more likely to trust the dark that comes with human modified history as it is written down on bias paper.

Nov 12, 2007

2007-11-12T10:50:00.000-08:00

November 12, 2007 Monday 9:25 AM

""While an Illinois state senator, Obama was key in getting the state's notorious death penalty laws changed, including a requirement that in most cases police interrogations involving capital crimes must be recorded"" (Barack Obama Page)

http://www.vote-smart.org/

"The US needs a country called 'Privacy' so that they can invade it." (Chris Nov. 13, 2007)

Oh CIA you Kill me

2007-11-09T10:00:00.000-08:00

November 9, 2007 Friday Oh CIA you Kill me
With luck, not literally.

I love the fact that this is on the CIA site... "The CIA is committed to protecting your privacy and will collect no personal information about you unless you choose to provide that information to us" CIA Page

I also noticed this. "Congress passed the Freedom of Information Act in 1966 and amended it in 1974 to allow the release of more national security information. Congress also passed the Privacy Act in 1974, which permits individuals to request information the U.S. Government may possess on them."
Better research that one some more.

Notes Section


Fasinating stuff.
The Wiki Scanner 
and Virgil Griffith
Wiki Scanner



A way I would preferably
 not like to die by.


Mattress 
A common  problem indeed.

After events?

2007-11-08T20:20:00.001-08:00

November 8, 2007 After events?

This deserves an epilogue... or is it not over? Maybe it will never be over. Maybe I can not find a way to write a decent epilogue to an on going story. Though I wish I could.

As I have stated before, when events in my life become overwhelming the writing grinds to a halt. If I could just get through an entire year where I have written everyday then readers would know that I have

I look more to the journal with a sobering smile. I began so earnest and idealistic with freeing my written words. I find at times I burn myself on the caldron of reality.

And at other times? I ignore the simple fact that it is out there until roughly stirred from my

....
Alone is a feeling I have often debated. I have discussed numerous times in the past the difference between alone and lonely. I have thought over the consequences and rejoiced at various aspects of the long elusive melodrama that has transformed my entire life into a stream of text.

Conjured.. whenever those whom incur feel like it. I spend tonight at home rustling among my math papers looking for a way to pass my math midterm tomorrow. With all that has happened I have not gotten a chance to think clearly and frankly about my studies. The effects may show at the end of this semester when the reaper of grades draws its lathe ever closer.

...
You know I'm sad when I grow more poetic don't you? And I write as though talking to people because I've become more aware of those whom have read this trail of thought.

And my feelings towards that? Mixed. More mixed than they have ever been before.

Notes Section


I IMed with her...
Nikol on WSJ!

She's featured in this article.
She's one of the creators of 
the Mid West Teen Sex Show.
http://midwestteensexshow.com/



So I've been gone for 9 days?
That's a fair about of time.

OFF RECORD

2007-10-31T00:44:00.000-07:00

OFF RECORD

Crying over the Keyboard.

2007-10-30T22:40:00.000-07:00

October 30, 2007 Tuesday Crying over the Keyboard.

The Long Sigh
How fitting that for Halloween I would deal with the scariest thing.

There are so many media channels for which to use today. People always have a bias towards in person talking. Even when I feel I can better express my perspective in other ways.

Tapes always have 2 sides. ... but really they don't. Topographically speaking there is only one side to a piece of paper... the outside.

I'm afraid to talk to those whom have seen so vividly the other side of a conflict for I am afraid that they may never understand.

And so I have tendency to cast out something to explain my side before a discussion with those people.. should I manage to work up the nerve to reach out and explain before my personality is skewed so far that I can barely glance at anyone who walks by.

The story is a long and complex one. But the parts that concern the recent actions are merely the tip of the iceberg.

The day I broke up with her was not on her birthday.
It was the same day she decided to go to the 5th floor of the tallest building in Humobldt County and sit un top of the railing.

I had found her there by chance for I was hurting quite a bit as well. And I liked nice views when I feel pain inside.

I turned and gasped at seeing her there. And thought.... I can't let her do anything. So I stayed there holding her rather than tending to classes. She told me to go but I knew what was more important.

The worst part of it all is that it is a horrible reason to breakup.. to have to break up. To say that I've spent so long with her crying in my arms and telling me she doesn't want to exist have taken their toll on my consciousness. It begins to make me question myself.

And she feels so alone for everyone she every lets in she finds they can't handle it and they leave her. What motivation does she have to keep living?
There are no easy answers.

But on that balcony when I held her tried heavy crying body...
I felt trapped.
I want her to be safe... I'm happy when I feel she is safe.

And so I could not leave her. Instead, I walked her step by step... down the stairs of HSU until she collapses in front of the pick up drop of point near the library. She laid there while I biked home to bring the car back and take her home.

And when I finally went home I could only lay listless in bed thinking about my best friend and wishing that she could actually be okay without me.. but being terrified that that wasn't the case.
.... I called later that evening and picked her up.

When she was over that night we were both missing each other. And both crying.. for breaking up was not what we really wanted. I wanted my first real love to be someone whom could walk with me through life... but I found it increasingly difficult despite anything I did to manage to walk with her.

And so we made up a bit while I felt I had no other options. She must have seen the warning signs but chose not to believe them. The way I would talk somberly. The moments when my gaze would move off into the distance.

She had told me about how important her birthday was.
And I said I would take her to dinner. And I spent the whole week prior making a movie with happy moments of us together. I thought that all the hours I spent on that would give her something to watch when I couldn't be around.

Apparently, I was wrong for it didn't matter at all. All those hours I spent putting together a montage of us being together to show she had someone were wasted in a moment when I split secondly decided to stay elsewhere.

Don't you see? I knew I had made the mistake to stay away and I felt it in my soul. I felt the worst. But nothing would ever have gotten through to her. None of my words would ever have told her and had her believe me. That I felt responisble for her because she only hung out with me, and let me in on her wishes in non existance.

The truth is I didn't break up with her on her birthday. I broke up with her weeks before. But she realize till then.

It it might have been the worst way for things to turn out but I'm sure at some point something like this was going to happen. After I had made my mistake I was to afraid to go and find what I knew I would find.

It had already been so long because she also tell sme she wants me to be happy. She tells me to do what makes me happy. But I know its one thing that she says that and another to see her try to say it through teary eyes.

The hours dragged on while I tried to distract myself.. but in the end I had to go home.

In which after I arrived before I had even walked into my door she pulls up. Yelling and crying in her car forcefully handing me a stuffed toy I won her at the county fair months ago.

I knew she couldn't be alone tonight. So I begged her to come in and stay. I told her I understand that she thinks I'm a jerk and I don't deny anything but I pleaded that she not go.

So hours went by with her yelling but I held her in my arms despite the fact. Despite the fact it hurt so much. I told her she could be in my arms when she needed them. Whether be it upset, or happy, or sad. They were there to hold her.

At this point I had been up for nearly 24 hours. And she could see I was exhausted. I knew that if I fell asleep she would leave. She told me so. So I fought to stay awake. I knew, that if I had to, I would stay up all night for her to make sure she would be here. To make sure she would be alive.

When Monday came I decided not to go to class. Because I knew she wouldn't be out of bed. Instead I called her and went out to do errands. And asked if I could bring her food. I know she doesn't eat when she gets like this. So my mission was to bring food and cheer her up enough so that she would eat. And for a while that day we were both happy but soon when she knew I would have to leave she began to cry once more.

I know it looked cold. It felt cold. I could not wait any longer to leave that day for I can not always wait for to be on a temporary up swing before I must return to my responsibilities.
It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. And I walked to the front door then stopped upon hearing her crys growing louder. And my face writhed into the biggest frown I had ever had. And after the longest pause I pushed through the door and left.

After I had driven to the grocery store parking lot. I got a call from her. She sounded more together but terrifed for she thought I was going to leave her life. I told her that I was still in her life. And she tells me she has seen it all before. People say they will be in her life and then leave. But I never make such statements for I told her that, "I am in her life right now." And to not worry about that for now. I would never say something I could not stand behind.

I told her a long time ago. I told her the first time we really spoke. I said I'd be what ever you needed me to be. And a boyfriend is what she wants me to be.
But a life line is what she needs me to be.
And so far I believe I have kept my word through all the years I have known her. All the years I held her when she cried.

I do not know what the future is and I will not agree to anything that I am unsure that I can come through with. Which means that anything I do say I know I can stand behind.

So all I can say right is a reassurance that, "I AM in your life!" I haven't left. So please keep living so I can keep seeing your smile.
The world needs it as I am sure so many other whom love you need it.

.... but here is where the story become interactive.
For those whom read my perspective have a choice.
I'm hoping that by this point they do not feel taking sides is any solution at all. I would hope that they would work with me to provide a larger support network for my best friend in the world.
The only one whom can start a sentence and have me finish it.

I want anyone to see her walking down the hall to give her a hug for simply getting out of bed is the greastest struggle ever for her. And she is trying so hard to stay with us all the least any of us could do is put aside some time to give her the hugs she needs to live through the day.

For it is breaking my heart to know that I can not be the one to single handedly keep her with us.
So please for the love of god.

As a guy whom is typing this from his soul and is now crying over the keyboard.

Please for the love of God help her! And help me.
Because I love her so much and I always want to know she is in someones life. And let her know that I still want her to be in mine too. Even if I have failed her so much. I don't want my failure to be a reason for her to leave this world.

......

And now I will have to go to school before anyone has ever read this and take those looks from those whom do not know my perspective. And though I am afraid they will be accusing me of ruining her birthday I hope they will read this later and realize the full complexity of the story before they decide never to talk to me again.

Very Sincerely,

Chris B. Stones

I've been real afraid this October.

Stay on the planet

2007-10-28T20:22:00.001-07:00

We could always complete each others sentences. And I hope she stays on the planet.

Friday

2007-10-26T01:45:00.000-07:00

October 26, 2007 Friday 3:18 PM

"One man's Fact is another man's Fiction"

I made sure to find a way to clean my room and talk.

Good idea?

well until you want to take it off. Removal is a bit difficult.

Friend on Myspace?

2007-10-23T00:05:00.000-07:00

October 23, 2007 Tuesday 1:10 PM

The day I meet a friend on myspace....
... will be the day the spam is smart enough
to hold a conversation.

Donate to Wikipedia

Radio Silence

2007-10-20T23:44:00.001-07:00

October 20, 2007 Saturday 4:50 PM Radio Silence

It may of well have been like passing on the other side of the moon. For the first time I turned off my home phone ringer... and set the cell to vibrate and slept. I do not know how long... but I know I really really needed to sleep. And so I made absolutely sure that I could. I even went up stairs and asked my neighbor to quiet the music.

And just now I got up again... while realizing that 6 o'clock was going to be approaching. So I decided to restart the day again.

Today had been the infamous GWPE or (Graduate Writing Proficiency Examine) and I spent a solid 2 hours writing "by hand" in the neatest writing that I could. And I was glad to be done. After that I was fairly exhausted and I made a trip into town to find a hair cut but was left empty handed. ... No cuts on weekends.

So, then I biked to a grocery store after a few other odd happenings. And was so tired and so worn and so hungry that when I returned I was not in a good mood.

And so I turned everything off. And napped and now I'm all better. I think.

The Best of Chris World!

2007-10-19T23:46:00.000-07:00




The Best of Chris World! 

This is a look back at some
of the great moments
in Chris World Movie Making
history.


It's a Bunny 
I sing in reverb 
all the time.

During My Break 
(The old version before 
the new 'better' 
music is added)

Continuity Errors 
Funny movie errors.


News Cast One


No Idea
I have a lab of scientist
 working round he clock to
 get me a date.
And it has the line, "This
 is Chris World. It's a 
family show"

The Feel of a Shot
What is the difference between...
EXT. FIELD - DAY
MALE walks to or away 
from camera.
ANd
INT. HALLWAY - DAY
MALE walks to or away 
from camera.

What sort of feel do you 
get from the same
basic information?


Ready to Rumble Router
The fight is on when
 my new router refuses
 to work.
Get a look at the part 
when it whacks me.
This movie also includes 
one of the  movie previews.

Intermission 3

Video Overlays 
I show how to add CG effects to 
movies and it helps 
a lot of people.

Digital Addiction 
I don't like that 'game'
 that much but the effect 
is why I include it.

For Pet Lovers 
Guitar my me. It also features 
the cat that opened the screen
 door and let itself in.



More Like Zay 
This movie incorporates
 footage from last break. 


Pure Chris World 
Can you figure out
 what Chris World 
is yet?


The Music Thorn
 I lament the fact I'm 
forced to use only music 
I have the rights to.
 The Cuts make it more 
erratic to convey my 
mood on the issue.

July Rewound
My memory has a lot of 
static in it.

The Unfilmables 
Watch out for that black box... 
And check out the 
hilarious voice changing.

Chris and KJ 
Keep watching for the CG 
add ins. And the hilariousness
 of the bleeping.

Jump Cuts
Sadie didn't know why 
I was acting the way 
I was at the beginning.


Life Review March
The Journal Effect.




Old Measurement Movie 
Very old school. 
Take a look at young Chris.

Trust me... better ones 
exist in the future.

Google Search Future

2007-10-18T22:57:00.001-07:00

October 18, 2007 Thrusday 11:56 AM Google Search Future

I wish I could type in a url and know the future. I keep wanting to know what is going to happen to me so I know if my here-and-there pessimism is somehow justified. I'm usually happy but that is when I'm not thinking about the future possibilities that await me. Talk about TMT.

Moodle skills are godsend though. I have skills that fit well into a university. And I fit will into universities for I like the nature of the place. Also, education is generally funded during hard times. And since the skills are world wide I could go elsewhere. Not to mention the Moodle HQ is in Australia.

Watch this video and do yourself and the world a favor and DON'T vote for Giuliani.

Notes Section

Fact Check on Giuliani
http://www.talkingpointsmemo.com/

Oh I completely forgot about
the electoral college..
Just vote for the guy whom shouldn't vote for
him will ya?

I didn't know I was almost as old
as an NES.
NES Retirement 1985 - 2007

http://digg.com/add-digg?OTC-widget


Aww you little fish.



Ah the country that sold its letters...
"The State of Tuvalu had, 
for example, sold the rights 
to the "dot tv" appellation."
Link

Am I getting Sick?

2007-10-17T21:02:00.001-07:00

October 17, 2007 Wednesday Am I getting Sick?

It is hard to tell for I spent the latter half of this day with a headache and its company grew old fairly fast. I tried drinking water. I tried sleeping and I tried relaxing in a hot shower. ... All those things help but as soon as my heart rate moves up or I tense again its back so I'm trying not to stress over anything.

I just need to get quietly through the night and perhaps rest in tomorrow to make sure I'm okay. All the while I can't seem to find those vitamin drops I had last time. At least I have an arsenal of cough syrup should I wake up under siege.

I've been thinking about a certain sequence today.

"When I die and become fossilized I hope I'm not hung up over a food bar"

Commensalism

Notes Section


Geometry Police Call Dispatch

binascii has the encoding I need

Everything

2007-10-16T00:28:00.000-07:00

October 16, 2007 Tuesday 3:08 PM Everything.

Looking for a solution is part of creating a solution. It's been about an hour and a half and I think I now know how to solve one of the FTN basic problems

now past Midnight

But I've done it. Everything I set out to do before the end of my night. That hasn't happened for a long long time. I can't even remember the last time I succeeded in completing everything before bed. I only wish I could have spent time on one more thing... my movie. If I push my bedtime to 12:45 am or so I could do it. That's not impossible given that I'm able to sleep well enough most nights to wake up alright at 7:30am.

Notes Section


I call this clever marketing.
Whack a Murdock
He's just everywhere isn't he?

SIGGRAPH PAPERS ROCK!

Rendering for an 
Interactive 360-Degree Light 
Field Display OR 3D Star Wars
style!

Wrinkled Flames and Cellular Patterns



It's nice to have a notes
section. Sort of a way to say,
This is what I didn't bother to 
really write. So don't expect
anything. Course, I lost my note tags
for a while so stuff should have been
in here but it wasn't. 



This weeks programming
homework took 2 hours.
Not bad. Kind of a rush job
though.

Apples?

2007-10-15T23:13:00.001-07:00

October 15, 2007 Monday 11:12 PM Apples?
Someone writes Chris:

> what are you feelings towards apples?

Apples?

I suppose your asking whether I'm pro apple or con apple, eh? Since I do not know what context your asking me this in. I'm finding it difficult to come to a resolution regarding the matter of apples.

If your speaking of the edibility. I tend not to eat fruit. I eat vegetables, I love pastas I love candy bars. I started loving water after 8 trips to the dentist.

So the general answer is no I do not like to eat apples.

I do like to go to AppleBee's the restaurant. I happen to have a 25 dollar gift card left over from my birthday. However, I don't like driving myself there. ( I tend not to like to drive into Eureka. My mind simply doesn't like to go 'one way'

And now, may I ask why you ask?
And if so, then Why do you ask?
-chris

Criticism should NOT be Anonymous

2007-10-14T12:02:00.001-07:00

October 14, 2007 Sunday Criticism should NOT be Anonymous

MORNING
Hosted via blip... I feel like going back to blip... because the tube lets me down so. But my hit count went up to 40 probably because I have 50 subscribers via the tube... so I've always been reluctant to leave... however, I like the blip player better and I'm ready to cave to have my video re-hashed into it.

I awoke with a lot on my mind.

Criticism should not be Anonymous

Here is why.
I understand criticism is a useful thing. It can be heard and then accepted or rejected based on the suggestion merits. And I do mean it needs 'suggestion' Simply insulting intelligence is not criticism. Also, once criticism is delivered.. It is up to me to gather how much weight I should put on the opinion I must know from what authority it arises.

For example, should I receive a comment from a math professor about my math papers being in a horrible format. I would take that criticism and adjust as needed. If nothing else I would reanalyze why I do things the way I do.

If a comment stems from a Anonymous source I can not decided whether that person has alternative motives or is an expert in their field. (even if that field is human social endeavors) Therefore I only have the merits of the comment on which to judge whether or not it is of value to me. More likely I would re-evaluate why I do things and decided whether being made aware of them is worth reconsideration. Often, I do not find that is the case.

However, I am talking of localized human criticism. Not criticism about government or institutions which would require anonymousity in order to protect those whom state their opinions. So the distinction between sorts of criticism is important.

In the end I tend to examine all possibilities even it I'm emotionally blindfolded for a while. Later on all ideas sink in to some extent. Ultimately, I get to do what I wish with anything that comes my way.

Listen with a grain of salt....
and in the movie I have a grain of salt next to me.

Notes Section

Word Count this year: 78857 words (so far)
273 Title Lines 
Yeah, and behold my powers of parsing.
As meek as they are ;)


1: January 1, 2007  Monday 3:40 PM Movie: It's a New Year
93:January 2, 2007 Tuesday 2:50 PM Movie: For Pet Lovers
145:January 3, 2007 Wednesday 3:26 AM Movie: Meet Jackie
195:January 4, 2007 Thursday 3:25 AM The Night Quest Mov: Saving Memory
289:January 5, 2006 Friday 1:26 AM Movie: Video Overlay
334:January 6, 2006 Saturday Movie: Into the Past
376:January 7, 2006 Sunday 
391:January 7, 2007 Sunday Strength of Character Mov: Movie Texture Movie
452:January 8, 2007 Monday 2:50 PM Movie: Change of Perspective
515:January 9, 2007 Tuesday Movie: Digital Addiction
544:January 10, 2007 Wednesday The Coldest Night.
647:January 11, 2007 Thursday 8:01 PM Hard Sometimes
683:January 12, 2007 Friday Sad. Mov:Too Tired
727:January 13, 2007 Saturday 9:55 PM Failed Movie Composition
763:January 14, 2007 Sunday 6:15 PM Movie Devil Sync
822:January 15, 2007 Monday 9:21 PM End of Break Mov: Irony
861:January 16, 2007 Tuesday 10:43 PM Movie: Cold, Codec and Color
910:January 17, 2007 Wednesday 3:20 PM Mov: Color Animation
960:January 18, 2007 Thursday Movie: Cubes, Messages and Protein
972:January 19, 2007 Friday 8:46 PM Movie: Liz in Brief
1040:January 20, 2007 Satuday 1:09 AM
1100:January 21, 2007 Sunday 11:46 AM Net Withdrawal
1185:January 22, 2007 Monday Movie: Movie Notes
1251:January 23, 2007 Movie: Handy Volume
1309:January 24, 2007 Wednesday 11:00 PM Mov: Ready to Rumble Router
1329:January 25, 2007 Thursday 
1376:January 25, 2007 Thursday Movie: Google Search
1433:January 26, 2007 Friday Mov:Just an Announcement
1498:January 27, 2007 Saturday 12:31 PM Biblio Mind
1609:January 28, 2007 Sunday 1:06 PM Talk to Delta Waves
1665:January 29, 2007 5:37 PM Losing Ground
1735:January 30, 2007 Tuesday 8:27 PM Poetic Thought
1865:January 31, 2007 Wednesday My World
1937:February 1, 2007 Thursday Buttons All Day
1976:February 2, 2007 Friday 7:23 PM Sacred Stage
2080:February 3, 2007 Saturday 12:48 PM So What?
2176:February 4, 2007 Sunday 11:21 AM The Gym
2241:February 5, 2007 Monday Knock Out Juice
2328:February 6, 2007 Tuesday 7:13 PM The Feel of a Shot
2377:February 7, 2007 Wednesday 7:22 PM Between Dead and Awake
2407:February 8, 2007 Thursday 11:56 PM Untitled
2458:February 9, 2007 Friday 9:58 PM Mov: Filming Fridays
2494:February 10, 2007 Saturday 8:18 AM Scatter Thought
2627:February 11, 2007 Sunday 8:36 PM Untitled Again
2654:February 12, 2007 Monday A Monday
2747:February 13, 2007 Tuesday Half Deaf Day
2829:February 14, 2007 V Day?
2858:February 15, 2007 Thursday 6:00 PM No Idea Commentary
2925:February 16, 2007 Friday Movie: Sadie Birds of Past
3038:February 17, 2007 Saturday Horrible Saturday 
3146:February 18, 2007 Sunday 12:57 PM Intermission 14
3204:February 19, 2007 Monday The ? Movie
3275:February 20, 2007 Tuesday ? with comments
3312:February 21, 2007 Wednesday What the Inverse?
3402:February 22, 2007 Thrusday 7:41 PM Hope for the World
3481:February 23, 2007 Friday Definition
3553:February 24, 2007 Saturday 12:23 PM
3634:February 25, 2007 Sunday Intermission 16
3685:February 26, 2007 Monday 4:16 PM Giant Intermission
3739:February 27, 2007 Tuesday A Day *sigh
3860:February 28, 2007 Wednesday Who is Shirine?
3912:March 1, 2007 Thursday Good Day at Work Mov:February
4017:March 2, 2007 Friday Day of Links
4045:March 2, 2007 Friday 4:25 PM
4140:March 3, 2007 Saturday 1:07 PM Just a Day
4164:March 4, 2007 Sunday Consumer Crazy
4267:March 5, 2007 Monday The Ironic Ear
4373:March 6, 2007 Tuesday 9:29 PM Computer Science
4406:March 7, 2007 Wednesday Context Free
4495:March 8, 2007 Thursday 9:12 PM Simulation Basis
4630:March 9, 2007 Friday 2:17 AM News Cast 2
4690:March 10, 2007 Saturday 12:21 PM 1st Day of Break
4772:March 11, 2007 Sunday 1:46 PM Intermission 19
4856:March 12, 2007 Monday 4:43 PM Special Composite
4913:March 13, 2007 Tuesday Untitled
4945:March 14, 2007 Movie: *M
5012:March 15, 2007 Thursday 1:20 PM
5036:March 16, 2007 Friday 5:47 PM Human and Computer
5052:March 17, 2007 Saturday 3:26 PM 2nd to Last Day
5169:March 18, 2007 Sunday 3:02 AM On a Quest?
5218:March 19, 2007 Monday 5:12 PM 2 Hours Sleep Mov:Narrator
5358:March 20, 2007 End of an Era? or just a Lull?
5465:March 21, 2007 Wednesday 7:03 PM feel... insubstantial
5524:March 22, 2007 Thursday Just Footnotes
5574:March 23, 2007 Friday 8:52 PM
5579:March 24, 2007 Saturday 1:33 PM What did I do today?
5606:March 25, 2007 Sunday 2:17 PM The Difficulties of these Times
5656:March 26, 2007 Monday 
5736:March 27, 2007 Tuesday Null Eventful
5793:March 28, 2007 Wednesday The Nature of Worry
5881:March 29, 2007 Thursday
5931:March 30, 2007 Friday 3:42 AM Past Midnight Oil.
5990:March 31, 2007 Saturday 4:46 PM
5997:April 1, 2007 Sunday 7:26 PM Jokes on Me
6033:April 2, 2007 Non Fiction
6098:April 3, 2007 Tuesday 
6150:April 4, 2007 Wednesday
6185:April 6, 2007 Away Journal

6188:April 7, 2007 Missed Entry
6192:April 8, 2007 Dazed and Tired
6218:April 9, 2007
6228:April 10, 2007 The Text Desert
6292:April 11, 2007 Wednesday 
6327:April 12, 2007 Thursday Free Play (GF)
6376:April 13, 2007 Friday Girl Friend Acquired 
6427:April 14, 2007 Girl Friend (for half a day)
6436:April 15, 2007 Sunday 1:27 PM
6448:April 16, 2007 Afternoon Headache
6461:April 17, 2007 Papers for the Next Century
6560:April 18, 2007 Nothing Much
6618:April 19, 2007 Defining Moments
6691:April 20, 2007 Excerpt from 2002
6736:April 21, 2007 Saturday 10:56 AM Protected by Law
6870:April 22, 2007 Sunday 3:15 AM Flask Problems
6964:April 23, 2007 Troubled Thoughts and Times
7015:April 24, 2007 Grace Under Fire
7067:April 25, 2007 Science Project
7154:April 26, 2007 Storage Dreams
7229:April 27, 2007 After the fact.
7274:April 28, 2007 Housing Headaches
7328:April 29, 2007 Sunday Entry Missing
7334:April 30, 2007 Monday Helpful 12 year old
7401:May 1, 2007 Tuesday 4:21 PM Pain is a necessary evil
7448:May 2, 2007 Wednesday 7:21 Bounce Rate
7588:May 3, 2007 Thursday Inverse Strikes Back
7664:May 4, 2007 Friday No Clearance
7755:May 5, 2007
7759:May 6, 2007 Sunday Not a Room
7817:May 7, 2007 75 Degrees or A Degree of Agony
7918:May 8, 2007 Tuesday 4:32 PM Injury
7943:May 9, 2007
7945:May 10, 2007 Short Entry
7979:May 11, 2007 Missing Time
8036:May 12, 2007 Some people Graduate.
8049:May 13, 2007 Sunday 
8051:May 14, 2007 Monday 
8088:May 15, 2007 Tuesday UnEasy
8135:May 16, 2007 Wednesday 2:24 PM
8166:May 18, 2007 Friday 2:15 PM
8181:May 19, 2007 Saturday 6:38 AM Alive ON Line
8320:May 20, 2007 Sunday 6:21 AM
8375:May 22, 2007 Prove Your a Smart Human
8413:May 23, 2007 Wednesday 1:15 AM Black Abyss
8489:May 24, 2007 Thursday Live Cast???
8580:May 25, 2007 HSU No friend of Mine
8713:May 26, 2007 Saturday Fixed Website
8781:May 27, 2007 Sunday 12:19 PM 
8802:May 28, 2007 Monday 1:00 PM Not an Addict, then what?
8867:May 29, 2007 Tuesday 5:40 PM Ouch Isn't Enough
8888:May 30, 2007 Wednesday 6:53 PM Off Net?
8942:May 31, 2007
8945:June 1, 2007
8948:June 2, 2007
8951:June 3, 2007
8954:June 4, 2007
8957:June 5, 2007
8960:June 6, 2007
8963:June 7, 2007
8969:June 8, 2007 Friday 9:49 PM Week of Hell at an End?
8992:June 9, 2007 Saturday 11:02 AM After the Storm
9025:June 10, 2007 Sunday 5:56 PM Settle 
9065:June 11, 2007 Monday 1:42 PM
9117:June 12, 2007 Net Returns
9142:June 13, 2007 Wednesday 3:08 PM Dismantle?
9222:June 14, 2007 Thursday 1:45 PM I'm Told
9307:June 15, 2007 Saturday Tactical Vagueness
9347:June 16, 2007 By Roads
9377:June 17, 2007 Sunday Untitled
9445:June 18, 2007 Edgy
9462:June 19, 2007 2:46 PM Some Days Just Want to be Bad

9567:June 20, 2007 Wednesday Cell Phone

9615:June 21, 2007 Thursday 7:09PM Live my Life or yours?
9697:June 22, 2007 Best Moment of Day
9742:June 23, 2007 Saturday Farewells
9774:June 24, 2007 Sunday Sub Surface Scattering


9832:June 25, 2007 Monday 12:19 PM
9881:June 26, 2007 I FEEL Bad. 


9990:June 27, 2007 Wednesday **** ************ ******** ******
10051:July 14, 2007 Saturday 
10083:July 19, 2007 Thursday 12:34 AM
10118:July 20, 2007 Friday 10:58 AM Threads of Light
10143:July 21, 2007 Sunday 1:11 AM
10169:July 25, 2007 Wednesday 7:42 PM
10262:July 26, 2007 
10280:August 4, 2007 Saturday Michelle Liptak While in Home Town
10325:August 5, 2007 Sunday 
10339:August 6, 2007 Contact Made with Michelle 
10347:August 9, 2007 Thursday 5:42 PM The Summer consumed by Distraction
10446:August 11, 2007 Saturday 3:58 PM Quantum Theory Take I
10472:August 13, 2007 (2:24 am) Polar Graphing! One more time!
10478:August 13, 2007 Monday Notice Being Alone
10509:August 14, 2007 Tuesday 
10549:August 15, 2007 Wednesday
10567:August 16, 2007 Thursday 10:53 PM Back
10584:August 17, 2007 Friday Indescribable 


10649:August 18, 2007 Saturday 5:03 PM Coding and Waiting
10681:August 19, 2007 Sunday Social Halt

10745:August 20, 2007 Monday 11:19 PM First Day of Class

10768:August 21, 2007 Tuesday 10:31 PM Lost Touch
10811:August 23, 2007 9:48 PM Thursday The New 12
10833:August 24, 2007 Friday Good Day
10920:August 25, 2007 Saturday 3:14 PM I DID IT!
11005:August 26, 2007 Sunday 1:24 PM Zombie Walk
11086:August 27, 2007 Monday 11:40 PM Mini-Adventures

11162:August 29, 2007 Wednesday 9:00 PM Still Forward


11207:August 30, 2007 Thrusday 4:24 PM Body Image
11276:August 31, 2007 Friday Worry


11316:September 1, 2007 Saturday 12:29 PM Musical
11352:September 3, 2007 Monday 11:46 Sick Day
11446:September 4, 2007 Tuesday Own Your Homework!
11521:September 5, 2007 Wednesday 11:11 PM No Entry

11541:September 6, 2007 Thrusday 5:01 PM
11562:September 7, 2007 Friday Salvation at Hand
11601:September 8, 2007 Saturday Catch of the Day
11702:September 9, 2007 Sunday I like my Weekends


11753:September 10, 2007 Monday Virus Code = Free Speech?
11914:September 11, 2007 Tuesday No Time to Post
11958:September 12, 2007 I'm on Miro!

11984:September 14, 2007 Friday Arduous Journey
12035:September 15, 2007 Saturday The Rule of Law
12060:September 16, 2007 Sunday New Camera New Pictures
12104:September 17, 2007 Monday Over Time
12112:September 18, 2007 Tuesday 10:06 PM Sky
12126:September 19, 2007 Wednesday Midi Cable of Power!
12131:September 20, 2007 Thursday 11:20 No Time No Time

12144:September 21, 2007 Friday 

12150:September 26, 2007
12155:September 27, 2007 Thursday The Jack Tutorial is coming.

12183:September 28, 2007 Friday What a week.


12221:September 30, 2007 Sunday 11:43 AM Most Relaxed in 10 months  


12263:October 1, 2007 Monday 10:14 PM
12291:October 4, 2007 Thursday 11:08 PM Back?


12304:October 5, 2007 Friday 11:56 PM Solar Updraft Towers
12338:October 6, 2007 Saturday Saturday Quick Clips

12395:October 7, 2007 Sunday Burned Out

12452:October 8, 2007 
12472:October 9, 2007 Tuesday The Storm?
12569:October 10, 2007 Wednesday Today in Brief (really brief)
12593:October 11, 2007 Thursday The Good Catch
12664:October 13, 2007 Sunday No Thumb Nails?

12676:October 14, 2007 Sunday Criticism should not be Anonymous

No Thumb Nails?

2007-10-13T00:18:00.000-07:00

October 13, 2007 Sunday No Thumb Nails?

I don't know why I don't yet see movie thumb nails up. That's worse than before. Having a random clip shot was better than nothing.

The Good Catch

2007-10-11T00:32:00.000-07:00

October 11, 2007 Thursday The Good Catch

I speak of ideas as the catch for today yields some good ones. They are some of the most exciting parts of my life for they are the substance of thought and the beacon of existence for me. They live on when I don't.

Later

I wanted to write up all these ideas nicely... but I'm so tired and worn by the end of my day I can't bring myself to do it. So they go up not as polished thoughts but as notes. It's really ashame.

Notes Section


The Civil Mind.

Residual Essence (The Soul Machine)
My soul runs on Linux.

The Beauty of Program
Write poem, a story.. a novel?
But write a program and watch the wondrous
things that result.
Is this is is this not on parse with other
great literary works? 
I was thinking about the swarm script a program
written that makes objects in blender appear to
swarm. I'm amazed at how it was designed.. who did
they figure out what swarming was? How can someone
study it? 

Despite the technicality of copyright programs as
literary works. ;)

Open Source forever?
While closed source code dies off
open source may be able to live on and
go through hundreds of versions... as
society continues to deploy it.
What will that bring us?

24 hour service with no one working during
the night?
As in no one stays up all night. 
How is that possible?
Depends on where the service help call is coming
from... across the whole globe. And no one has
to stay up all night. ;)

----
I find good conversations for people with people
if you can strike up the right things to talk about.
Interesting things. Like differing ways humans in different
majors view the world. And the problem with thinking your 
major is the best.

Today in Brief (really brief)

2007-10-10T00:02:00.000-07:00

October 10, 2007 Wednesday Today in Brief (really brief)

Notes Section



Work was stressful.

The production film shoot went well.

GUY#1: I like the wilderness. 
Would you look at that? So peaceful
and beautiful the great out doors!

GUY#2: What are you talking about? 
That place is full of like a billion
creatures trying to kill each other.

The Storm?

2007-10-09T22:21:00.001-07:00

October 9, 2007 Tuesday The Storm?

6:25 PM I was told a storm was coming. And that's more warning than I normally have. I should really check these things. So I expected the power to go out.. which it hasn't yet.. but the internet to Arcata and who knows where else is dead. This prevents the use of cards to purchase goods. I'll remember that for next time. As I hadn't realized that was going to be an issue during the day.

Though there is much reading for classes. I can do having the internet down prevents me from completing certain computer based assignments on time. It's not like I hadn't worked on a lot of the java assignment... but that work that remains requires access to the Java API as well as the ability to look up currency conversion rates... which I could perhaps just make up given the circumstances.

Regardless, I keep expecting the power to go out completely.. hence preventing me from typing this on my computer.. but it hasn't yet.. and the only redeeming thing about the warning is the fact the net went down. However long that will be.

I may still write about the thoughts of the day of which I find I had a few due to the fact my research for one of my classes had me resorting to making use of the library in which case I was watching an old video on Computer security the way it was in the 80's. I love watching the old shows like that. They have their charms and I find them thought provoking for their curious predictions and the future of computing id in some case the world I live in today... or at least some portion of it.

So I leave the library thinking about how far I've come in my own understanding of these machines that I find a large number of people are against in one way or another. I wonder just how many? Certainly, more people have a better understanding but I do find those in age category, (more than I would imagine) not being 'computer people' which is okay but they shy away from even discussion of basic computer activities. And I made sure to remind myself not to be so nieve as to think everyone has access all through out the world. ... but I would think that students on a college campus have a vested interest in knowing how to handle the basics of the technology....
It still perplexes me that she seems so against it.

I walk into the instructional math lab of the new 5 story campus building and sit down in the room where grad student math tutors are assisting undergrads in their mathematical endeavors. I find i like to sit amongst these goings on for whatever reason. Maybe it is because I can over hear explanations or I like to be around those whom are helping others while the people they help are calm and thankful. I don't think I'm allowed to help. But I think about it... especially when it was as busy there as it was today.
I also like writing my name in the sign in so that I may help show that the place is useful to people.
Oh yeah, and maybe the fact that they are grad students has something to do with it.... as in they have something interesting going on due to the nature of their work.

Notes Section

It would be nice to have 
a power back up so that my computer
can be shut down gracefully. *wink *wink

October 8, 2007

2007-10-08T23:21:00.001-07:00

October 8, 2007

Every once in a while in your internet surfing career you come across something so internet like it can only be described as... 'perfect for the overly gullible'
The best candidate features.... The Tree Octopus

However, the sad facts remain... All those poor poor students...

On other notes, I felt the work I did to get the comm club website up wasn't appreciated. No one mentioned anything and when I asked if anyone had seen the announcement no one responded. It's like I made all that effort in vain thinking it was going to matter to them that I didn't have it up yet.

Burned Out

2007-10-07T23:42:00.000-07:00

October 7, 2007 Sunday Burned Out

Its a sunny day as I walk out with my math book in hand. And the warm air revitalizes my tired muscles and reassures me that I am alive. I think I spend 70 or 80 or even 90 percent of my time trying to figure things out that I've forgotten to just go out on a sunny day and walk around a bit. How could I have forgotten that?

Its only sunny for a month or so more before the heavy rains come and it grows even colder. I wish I had gotten to be out in it more this year. ....
I need a break from it.. and yet i still have class work to take care of.

I never expected that the communications club website would have taken so long to figure out. And I wanted to get it done so I had something to tell them tomorrow.

Notes Section



Simple Holography

Light Value Stereogram Printer

Cosmic Rays
" Computer companies must take cosmic rays into 
consideration when designing computers. As components 
become smaller and more powerful, strikes from 
high energy cosmic ray particles can do more damage.
One result of a cosmic ray strike is called a 
"single event upset," which occurs when a computer
memory cell is hit. This can change the basic units 
of memory which are made up of patterns of 1’s and 0’s.
Computers must be designed to run constant checks to
correct for any changes made, such as a 1 suddenly 
changed to a 0.

Another possible result is called a "latch-up." 
Latch-ups happen when a cosmic ray burns out a component. 
By shutting down computers every now and then,
glitches caused by latch-ups may be repaired. 
This problem is especially acute for computers 
aboard satellites, since they are exposed to a higher
intensity of cosmic rays than computers on
the ground."

Saturday Quick Clips

2007-10-06T08:33:00.000-07:00

October 6, 2007 Saturday Saturday Quick Clips

Ice cold shot glasses... or ice shot glasses?
Brownie making?
Adding myself to the pioneer space plaque
Rejoicing that I'm done with Dentists... for now..

Nothing like simulated fluid to quench your thirst.

And if you don't have a hood ornament consider this.

Solar Updraft Towers

2007-10-05T00:32:00.000-07:00

October 5, 2007 Friday 11:56 PM Solar Updraft Towers

Yet, another weekend is upon me and today has been a good day. I'm looking to handle my java programming, math, computer law homework as well as advance the commclub website while making time for blender tutorial writing.

Should be a worth while weekend.. Now if only I can find that quantum mech book I lost.

Notes Section


Solar Tower!
I think there is a patent on it. 
But the mathematics behind it is something
to consider. I think he mathematics 
behind robotic construction methods is 
something to consider.
Build small robots and they build big things.

Vortex Engine
Is patented as well.
Cool stuff though.

Video of it!

Back?

2007-10-04T23:10:00.000-07:00

October 4, 2007 Thursday 11:08 PM Back?

I may not have succeeded at everything. But my spirits are high for success. As things will soon be back in place and I may achieve again.

All pieces may be put back together and new inspiration is everywhere I turn.
It's about time

My eyes, moist

2007-10-01T22:15:00.001-07:00

October 1, 2007 Monday 10:14 PM

I wanted to make my movie. I really didn't. But now I don't feel like it. I don't feel like anything. I was upset. I laid my head on the table and didn't lift it. My eyes, moist I contemplated calling.

Instead, I grumbled in agony over things and lamented the fact I no longer felt like doing anything tonight. This went on for a while and then I dropped it and tried my homework reading.

I don't like this.

Most Relaxed in 10 months

2007-09-30T22:39:00.000-07:00

September 30, 2007 Sunday 11:43 AM Most Relaxed in 10 months

"History shows that open source has a commodifying effect on software markets. It reduces the power of monopolies and fosters competition for the benefit of consumers: it weakens brand values, drives costs down, provides access to production technologies and creates interchangeable products and services." http://www.epic.co.uk/content/news/dec_06/moodle.htm

All hail one of the most relaxing weekends I've had in a very very long time. I'm so glad I could ease my stress and achieve my school work AND my own work. Its been fabulous to relax and feel like things are taken care of for once.

I spent much of the day rearranging and cleaning the place and I look forward to repairing the damage that I've done to much of my grades up until this point. With luck the little hang ups will be cured and I can coast the rest of the way through my school work.

Now, its a strange thing to feel like I once did.. nearly .... How many months was that? A lot I know. Before the summer maybe even thanks giving break? Yeah, I almost had the same feel as the last thanks giving break. I know it well. Its when I return to my rhythm. When I return to the root of my creativity and I bask in the glow of my own minor achievements once again.

.. wait it was 10 months! I spent 10 months away from my creative wellspring and I paid the ugly price. So much time lost. And so much energy to catch up.

I spent a while solving more lighting issues. I'm on my way to much better renders.

What a Week

2007-09-28T01:53:00.000-07:00

September 28, 2007 Friday What a week.

I'd have to say ouch for this week. It's been painful but I think I can recover over this weekend. I'm so far behind in my classes. I have to haul it to get back to nominal levels in both Computer Law and History. Never have I had the sensation of knowing that I scored nearly perfect on one test only to find a complete failing on another. Immediacy upon leaving my history exam I wrote out a study plan that involves filtering out all reading into a series of note cards and reviewing them daily. History 111 is a class I can't afford to fail.

Speaking of not affording. I wonder what plans Delta Dental offers? For it seems my student insurance is soon to run out and I have to book an appointment in 6 months. That's March. I biked home after the ordeal today. It's a minor celebratory note as it was the last cavity I had to have filled.. for now. I've learned my lesson.

I've learned my lesson. Brush, floss, Fluoride rinse. I don't even touch soda the same way I once did. I go for the mug of water instead. That's probably a good thing all around anyway I suppose.

With that mess settled and other messes settled I feel I can obtain what I lacked before.. for so many months... Clarity.

Oh and here's some nice renders I achieved today.

Nice. The slight gloss makes me feel special. Even better. I obtained a colored hue on the surface! Not the best but it was the first one that came out like this. Let's just say it was very rewarding to read about ray tracers and how to use them. ;)

The Jack tutorial is coming

2007-09-27T22:48:00.001-07:00

September 27, 2007 Thursday The Jack Tutorial is coming.
Stay tuned. The Jack tutorial is coming...

Notes Section


Why We Must Fight UCITA


Skype? Technology that Steals?
"The calls are set up and passed on
among users, flowing through a chain
of computers around the world without
traversing any central infrastructure.
That’s good for robustness and
scalability -- and for Skype,
which can avoid massive investments
and add new users at near-zero marginal
cost."

http://www.lunchoverip.com/2006/03/the_fine_print_.html

September 21, 2007

2007-09-21T11:49:00.000-07:00

September 21, 2007 Friday

No Time No Time

2007-09-20T23:30:00.000-07:00

September 20, 2007 Thursday 11:20 No Time No Time
No time to think. Then pictures pictures!

Ultimate hop scotch!
Sandwich!
Can you say Stereotype?

The MIDI Cord of Power!

2007-09-19T21:41:00.000-07:00

Pictures say it all...

Sky

2007-09-18T23:18:00.000-07:00

September 18, 2007 Tuesday 10:06 PM Sky

Notes Section


"It is transcendental, which means that it is not the root (solution) to any
polynomial of any degree with integer coefficients. This condition is more
restrictive than saying a number is irrational. For example, the polynomial
of degree '2',  X^2 - 3=0,  has the solution X = sqrt(3), which is
irrational."
http://www.newton.dep.anl.gov/askasci/math99/math99119.htm

New Camera New Pictures

2007-09-16T20:12:00.001-07:00

September 16, 2007 Sunday New Camera New Pictures

Earlier in the week I came home to find my old camera broken. Take a look... that isn't some crazy image of a mosaic that IS the broken screen.

According to my pay check it seemed I was suddenly able to afford a new camera! (To fix the lack of images on the blog lately issue) If you hadn't noticed already my journal has been pretty sparse with the lack of ability to take pictures. I'm glad I found a great camera and I'm doubly glad I could afford it from the hours I worked.

So here's images...

Everyone is in aww at the quality.

Notes Section

Nice to know this exists. http://perian.org/ Whoa! Super Motion Capture!

The Rule of Law

2007-09-15T23:03:00.001-07:00

September 15, 2007 Saturday The Rule of Law Respect the Law

Or pay the price. That's all I'll say. Don't ever be on the wrong side of it or your in for a delightful round of having the full power of the class society against you.

Notes Section


http://wiki.blender.org/index.php/
BlenderDev/SundayMeetingAgenda

http://wiki.blender.org/

Arduous Journey

2007-09-14T00:21:00.000-07:00

September 14, 2007 Friday Big Day

Well it was a big day. A very long and tough and tiring day but in it's own way it was exciting. Recapping now I find I was excited that it was pay day and I was also delighted to pour over a mathematical proof a friend of mine had written. It will prove useful for my own explorations on the topic of the Mean Radius of a Triangle.

But the trying aspect of the day was getting an RV from the backyard of a professors house to the back waters of McKindleyville. The thing died right at the very end of the arduous journey. By arduous I mean the thing barely made it to 40 mph in which case a lone line of cars piled up behind it. And I was right there driving behind her as she made her way through the streets.

Seeing the long row of cars in my mirror prompted me to consider a sort of equation that might predict just how many cars as a function of time spent on the road and the speed difference from the freeway speeds to the vehicle.

In short, the day was long but exciting and I would say fulfilling. I'll sleep well tonight as my whole body feels quite tired from all the other things that went on.

Notes Section


http://www.opencascade.org/


http://shawnsaga.fea.st/math/
This was Shawns page and it
 includes a published copy 
of the paper
I've been chewing through.
 I must say he did a good 
job and was quite
imaginative with the thing.

Mean Radius of a Triangle

Rhythm of Life

2007-09-13T23:41:00.000-07:00

September 13, 2007 Rhythm of Life

Rhythm?

It's hard to explain, Perhaps it's best to mention as a series of procedures by which I control stress while taking care of my work as well as school responsibilities in a timely fashion. I love to think. And in order to think freely and be creative I must spread out my life between hours wondering thought punctuated with intermission of class work and a variety of small more than trivial activity I partake in.

This soup of my life forms a Gantt Chart for success as I have come to know it. And in times when I am obstructed from being able to walk my path at pace I find myself growing stressed.

Furthermore, when someone criticizes me for choosing to play piano before homework rather than immediately homework they clearly do not understand my methods. I never consider it putting off work for I take my whole 6 hour window as one piece that involves what I do and what is required of me.

I feel it unfair to claim 'I'm not doing my work' when the way I proceed with work is much more than a mere serialized independent activity at a time attitude without regard for emotion state and work ethic feel.

I Alternate between my personal projects and school and I achieve both.

Notes Section

Californian Gold -
http://www.calgold.com/
Huell Howser Productions


The only movie star moment I've ever had.

I'm on Miro!

2007-09-12T22:23:00.001-07:00

September 12, 2007 I'm on Miro!

What is Miro? Miro is high res web video without the wait times!

Notes Section


I'M ON Miro!

I'm proud to be another webcast
channel on the Miro!

How to make Blender more attractive for engineers?

Does Viannah still read this?

No Time to Post

2007-09-11T01:09:00.000-07:00

September 11, 2007 Tuesday No Time to Post

It's a real shame when I get to the end of the night and i'm out of time for my own writing. I'll stave off the sniffles and make a few remarks from the notes only...

Notes Section

I helped a fellow Java student
understand the homework. 
I never would have spoken had it
not been for my imporved
confidence and social charm.

I wonder if sqlite could make
the comm club sorrel space usable
for Drupal

Virtual Turing Machine idea
thought of

Reversal of Extravertism

Levit Town historic subject
to be researched later

Got to PLAY a REAL Piano
on Campus!!!
It was wonderful.

Geography only selectively
matters based on values

"Why do backpacks worn 
with suits look so bad?"

Virus Code = Free Speech?

2007-09-10T23:39:00.001-07:00

September 10, 2007 Monday Virus Code = Free Speech?

The fellow could use some more charismatic presentation skills but he speaks confidently and clearly. Nice all around presenation. Facebook Developers

I've often had questions about free speech and virus code publication. So a site like this caught my attention. Especially the part where they explain why some virus source has been removed: it remarks, "Even though the file is COMPLETELY HARMLESS, and our webpages are covered by Free Speech, we have removed it. "

In which case I would say.. so publishing virus code is free speech. But compiling and using it is against the law. Isn't that fascinating? In my opinion, this is what makes software such a strange entity. As classified under Copyright law software is a liteary work.
But how many liteary works do you know that can take over your computer?

very fascinating.

I think this topic appears suspiciosn from me as I have written it right below the Facebook video api movie. But I assure you I'm not criminal, and I do not write such things.. nor do I have the skill to do so.

Nice to get things like this done again...
You can e mail Chris of Chris World at cbs8@humboldt.edu Be sure to place Dear Chris of Chris World in the subject line or else it will be deleted upon entry. Consider Subscribing to the movies via Miro!

6:01 PM

I just found out my digital camera is cracked. Funny how that was not to long after finding out about a camera I really want.. happens to be 200 to 300 dollars. (About how much money I make in a pay period) Ironically I can't take a picture of it :(.

Making a Difference

I felt good today. I felt like I was making a difference. Not everyday feels like this. Not everyday has me so excited. I knew I was living the life style of someone whom speaks up in class, in meetings and helps a fellow computer science major get a job.
Yeah, it's a lot.

The common thread was that I spoke up where I would never have normally spoken up. And it changed the day... and I would argue that in some small way the world is changed as well.

Vice Pres. of Communications Club

I get the idea that Tricia is a very structured person. To bed on time. No meandering about if its not necessary. Always forward thinking. And as I sat at the meeting table for the communications club I sat back and enjoyed the display of power that emenates from her when she takes charge. I marveled at the confidence. And I smiled realizing I was capable of the exact same thing.

I have lots to do and to worry about... But designing and helping admin the Communications Club Website sounds like something good for me. It sounds like it has the potential to make a difference. Upon that, it seems that being in a club means something to me now. I've sat in on enough club and group like meetings to realize that you get the most out if you put the most in. And if I'm ready to do so in this small way I may have a much larger impact.

Prejudice Line

I grabbed my sandwitch in prepertion for the lunch code meeting. And as I walked to the 4 cashiers 1 of which was black I noted that despite longer lines many white students would wait in the lines for the other white cashiers. At some point it would even out but for a few moments I noted the difference. As I also noted that the black students would almost always wait in the line with teh black cashier. I think I should bring this up in class.

Despite the cost of a longer line, most people felt willing to make it to have a white cashier (or for some other unknown reason)

Detour Behavior

I stopped

Don't ever think that an idea dies, in my case they always cycle and come back again.

Notes Section

Is there a social density that
is average for students at HSU?
maybe it's like 1 human per 4 sq meters.



To Aaron Antrim
Like memes they are passed on. While I 
apologize for not being more involved with
 the big push to revolutionize how clubs 
and groups on campus utilize their web resources
 I recalled your amazing inspiration to 
divide the usage between web tech admins 
and web users. That was a moment when I 
went "Ah Ha!" and I have you to thank for
 it. I'm currently helping in creating the
 Communications club Website and I wondered 
if drupal or joomla were every successfully
 run off of the space as well as I'm 
interested to hear what became of very thing.
 Again, I apologize for bringing this 
possibility delicate topic back up but 
I wanted to let you know you still have a 
huge impact regardless of pass events.

I like my Weekends

2007-09-09T21:21:00.001-07:00

September 9, 2007 Sunday I like my Weekends

It's true I like my weekends. In fact, I avoided my homework the whole day. Instead, I taught myself various melodies on piano. Including, the metal gear solid main theme and Fur Elise.

It's weird to watch the dvd and read about the people whom didn't like it at the same time. The Forum that hates the Learn piano in a flash how to video

I found myself a bit sad for a very strange reason. I suppose I began to miss her. And it was only after one day. I'm in a fix now aren't I?

I don't know what to say about this one. A friend of mine brought it to my attention and I thought I'd give it contemplation later.... that later hasn't happened yet but I will come back to it... upon reminder.
Tolerance Annoyance

It's possible for me to realize a solution too late.

Here's a picture of Joy and Zara being friends.

Catch of the Day

2007-09-08T23:48:00.000-07:00

September 8, 2007 Saturday Catch of the Day

And so I did many things online. Just what have I reeled in? Quite an assortment of things, and short adventures to speak of.

For one, I finally did this..
Blender3D Users Unite!

It is a Blender3D Users group on the infamous tube.
I should tell blendernation

Like, "hi i'm from this video you linked to once...."
And upon recommendation from a few people I'd begin
a blender youtube group. I've always hated the fact I have
to deal with the youtube set up... but it so happens I
have the biggest voice there.. Until that changes...
I have to live with it.

Notes Section


Design python

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0vJJlVBVTFg

I found out how to run
python from my IDE I use at work.
PyDev on eclipse

http://showmedo.com/submissionsForm

http://xvidcap.sourceforge.net

Chaos Theory on Rocket Boom! Nice job guys.
Rocketboom Chaos Theory
I downloaded the HD version later.

Nice over view
http://makeinternettv.org/

I'm stuck with googTube for better or for worse
so I might as well find a feed for my movies.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wHUofFDimNk

http://www.youtube.com/rss/tag/

http://www.youtube.com/rss/tag/welcometochrisworld.rss
so long as keyword welcometochrisworld

but this page is far more helpful

http://www.youtube.com/rssls

In which case I found my feed!
feed://www.youtube.com/rss/user/cbs8/videos.rss

I quickly found button code to use with it...



Unfourntunatly, the site claims the tubes code is
wrong... but I need help testing it to find out.
Download Miro and click to add my feed. If it worked
than I'm happy. If it didn't than I am no happy.
It's that simple.

Ah the good old days when the females asked the guys.

Courtship through the years.

I miss the good ol'days.

Then when thoughts turned more towards school work...
And a state history test....

I was just starting to think.. "man, I've got 
to study for that state test... and I suddenly found
this..

Click to play
State Tetris game

Oh internet you saved me.
Thank you internet. That helps a lot.

Internet People - Watch more free videos

Salvation at Hand

2007-09-07T02:34:00.000-07:00

September 7, 2007 Friday

It has been a very long day. And although I was very tired 2 hours ago, I perked up in my focus on various programming and other assorted ideas. There are many things to produce and its beginning to look exciting... especially one idea.

While I stood on the 5th floor of the new BSS building looking out over the trees and towards the ocean I was contemplating beginning an open source project of my own. The focus wouldn't be so much on the code as it woudl telling the story of development and then sharing the learning experience with others whom are newly learned on a programming language. I want to create a video series within the scope of the project to capture all the details of what its like to produce a software project adn oversee its develpoemtn in a community styled envirnment. Should be fun and exciting.

Speaking of fun. I tend to not have fun when I start hearing about other peoples social escapades in their lives. It reminds me I'm quite in experienced on teh whole and I begin to withdraw everytime I hear things brought up with friends. I'm not sure how I fully feel or what I would do as a result of the inadequate feeling. But its save to say I feel a whole lot of things I can't ever quite sort out.

My time of salvation is at hand, I can see the solitude coming and I'm glad.

September 6, 2007

2007-09-06T02:26:00.000-07:00

September 6, 2007 Thursday 5:01 PM

Notes Section


Sudbury_school

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert%27s_Rules_of_Order
Wow those go way back.


"my other hobby is finding creative
ways to kill the ants that walk around
my house"

No Entry

2007-09-05T23:16:00.001-07:00

September 5, 2007 Wednesday 11:11 PM No Entry
It's like what it says.. it's no entry.
Though I will note I pulled off solving that moodle bug at work today! It's why I felt so awake by the time I left... only now I hear I have to go use other code rather than what I fixed.... so besides that it's a good feeling.

Notes Section

And to think I've been using this webmail for 4 years....

And I came here all that while ago.

If I were to cut my time up into parts...
I'd start with 2 years in dorms.

The 2 years on Hidden Creek

Then a final on Diamond.

Each part marking a destinctly differnet feel in the continulus unraveling story of my life in the years beyound 2003 High School Grad.

And yet, I have not fully become independent But I know what to do if tommorrow I had to. I'd be washing dishes at a Casio a few miles away. But quickly realizing before any of that happens I'd like my job to be cozy and programmer like.

I enjoy my bug fixing in the mornings. The intense concentration is starting to show results as I no longer have to check back to my time clock to see only another minute has passed. I work through logic and jump through programed hoops.

And all the while I know I'm becoming better and more capable at my job. As a laboring coder of web technoloyg.. and them some.

...

These days it's easy to recall those old days.. back in that first or second semester when I think back to those long hours of insane debugging with my poor beginer skills on C++ class style programming.. I remember the cocoa I sipped and the joy of running my first GUI despite the simplisticness of it all.

And it's so fitting to be ending the college lesson with a recap of ideas with the same professors but now new topics.

Own Your Homework!

2007-09-04T22:17:00.000-07:00

September 4, 2007 Tuesday Own Your Homework! Your Homework?

Yes, your name might be on the top of the page but is your homework really... your homework?
Maybe not. Technically.....

Chris Stones: what if a student publishes his homework under the GPL 
Chris Stones: before the class assignments are due 
Chris Stones: And another student uses his work 
Chris Stones: Is that plagiarism? 
Jeff Graham: they are probably in violation of the terms of "being a student" 
Chris Stones: funny eh 
Chris Stones: legally they can in school they can't 
6:25 PM 
Jeff Graham: student work produced for in class credit is typically the universities 
Chris Stones: is there a document I can look at to verify that? 
Jeff Graham: its listed somewhere on HSU's site 
Jeff Graham: or talk to a librarian about intelectual property they are usually quite 
informed... if they are good librarians 
Chris Stones: would it be called student terms and conditions? 
Chris Stones: or something? 
Jeff Graham: no 
Jeff Graham: I can't remember, but it is not quite that straightforward 
Chris Stones: dang as soon as I find that... I'm going to make such a fuss 
Jeff Graham: if education was truly devoted to education it would all be published 
"open source" but alas... we have screwed up as a society and education is "for 
profit" or "just for the individual" rather than realizing the benefits to our society 
Chris Stones: mmmm 
Jeff Graham: http://www.humboldt.edu/~cdc/policy/hsu_gpip.html 
.....
Chris Stones: I have to get a form filled out to own my homework 
Jeff Graham: kind of silly 
Jeff Graham: instructor: "did you write that?" 
student: "yes" 
instructor: "are you turning that in?" 
student: "yes" 
instructor: "as a graded assignment?" 
student: "yes" 
instructor: "do you own it?" 
student: "yes" 
instructor: "well actually..." 
Jeff Graham: nonsense 
Chris Stones: he he lol 
Chris Stones: follow that with 'yoink'

Finally blender documentation. I ran doxygen on the code and now I can begin to understand things. Finally.

Notes Section


I'm still confused on Java Open Source stuff

http://java-source.net/

http://www.java.net/community/openjdk/


http://www.humboldt.edu/~cdc/policy/hsu_gpip.html

Yes I found this again

Sick Day

2007-09-03T21:15:00.001-07:00

September 3, 2007 Monday 11:46 Sick Day

I awoke from my sick bed to find to my surprise.
About a million ants assaulting my eyes.

They swarmed around a tissue
I had left late last night

And my mouth, well it wrinkled at this
sickening sight.
For the ants they made a meal.
Out of my mucus cloth.

And it sent me reeling to try and
clean them all off.

I sprayed poison with vengence.
And wiped them all clean

And then when I was done I checked
again and again

For anything moving, I'd spot and
I'll destroy.

And for next time I'll lock away
my tissues with joy.

It all goes to show one creatures mucus is another creatures dinner.

Notes Section

Do I usually get poetic when I'm sick?


Shiney new tools for a new developer
snail$ man gprof
snail$ man script
snail$ man cscope

picked up sourcenav too well
sort of


Chris Stones: "tell xcode to use it"?
thetrueargon: "New Project" (I assume thats what you want) 
  "External Build System"
Chris Stones: interesting
thetrueargon: open up the target, tell xcode 
  what to run and where
  thetrueargon: but I don't know if it will be 
  able to parse the errors to give you a  filename:linenumber
Chris Stones: mmm


Sunday at 15:00 UTC

Daniel Says
CA is UTC -8 I think


Something simple as time zones for meetings
across the world give me headaches.
So what ever GMT or UTC??? is I subtract 8 hours?
so Sep 4, 2007 is 00:00:00

ack
..
which means fo rme it's 
7 am Sunday? is when i tend to a meeting?
Not that bad.. if I'm correct then it's on
the weekend anyway. And about the same time 
for me to wake up as any other day of the 
week.

oops I did that with out looking here..
http://www.dxing.com/utcgmt.htm


I hear it's good to get at least a little excersize on
days of inactivity. You know, helps the limbic system.
So I leisurely biked to my friends house. And it was nice.

Musical

2007-09-01T22:06:00.000-07:00

September 1, 2007 Saturday 12:29 PM Musical

Today was the first time I successfully wrote what I was playing to the computer. It was one of the first things I did when I awoke this morning. And I'm proud of my little advance. It seems a step in the right direction for a more personal touch to movies.

Notes Section


http://www.blanksheetmusic.net/

It's painful to not be able
 to write what I need to write.

Worry

2007-08-31T01:04:00.000-07:00

August 31, 2007 Friday Worry

Don't worry right? Well, that's hard sometimes and as the pain in my tooth slowly fades. I'm glad but not quite relieved to be done with todays round of fillings. More to come, I'm just glad the cleaning and the dental work can get doen 'before' the insurance runs out.

And later.... I hear them talk about their experiences... and I feel left out. Way left out and I think... I don't like this and I don't want to be around when this is happening. I have none and I walked home thinking about it. And then as I often do.. I turned to more productive less vacous matters.

Such as...
How to teach recent computer programming student the open source ropes. I want to take what someone begins to learn in a class and get them ready to be involded with various open source projects. I feel it's an important next step, for them and for the open source community.

But if today is worry. Than I have much of it. I worry about the 'what if's the what if I can't stand the aloneness like was once able to? And I was. I have often walked between extremes from social to solitary. And I've been back and forth amoung these choices.... and from what I've expereinced... I can see reasons to give it up...
However, I can see reasons to join the group.
Which will ultimatly win with me?

I can not know.

But you bet, I'll be playing a melancholy melody while I figure it out.

Body Image

2007-08-30T21:00:00.001-07:00

August 30, 2007 Thrusday 4:24 PM Body Image Body Image

It's funny how I went from pretty much ignoring my body to taking care of it. In the past my physical self was nothing more than a nuisance I had to put food in. I was always completely mental... and in a major kind of way I still am, but these days I take a little better care.

Maybe it was having someone care for me more than I did myself. Maybe it was the bite I felt from far too many dentist visits. Maybe it was time I took care of myself for once.... well in the physical kind of way. And besides myself is all I really have.

So I went from brushing almost never to once a day, to twice a day and now I aim for brushing and flossing 3 times a day. I shave, I clean, and I push up here and there. And clean house by taking well deserved rest breaks and managing my time so that I 'have' rest breaks.

Getting back to living is the most centering thing. Getting back to breathing can help too. I find that when I am somewhat down and I'm afraid I'll have much of it in the future.
I tend to throw myself into my work. And ignore the background of folks that build the set of daily life.

As I walked today... images passed through my mind. I saw the people walking about as grayed out and filling in the background. As egocentric as it is I wondered what the world would be like had many others taking the view.
I would just be a piece of furniture on the set of their lives?

Who are the major players in your life?
Who differentiates themselves from the background?

Do you have a background? Or do you place everyone in the foreground and live your life far differently than I.

Notes Section


One of the Coolest Concepts 
I've
seen in a long time. 
When I first saw this I had to 
watch it at least 2 more 
times. 

He looks kind of like kent too.

You can find more of 
Jamin Winans work at 

http://www.doubleedgefilms.com/



SWEET! three way
touch screen! I want one!

Still Forward

2007-08-29T23:41:00.000-07:00

August 29, 2007 Wednesday 9:00 PM Still Forward

It quickly becomes harder each day to get every task done by the end of it. I'm behind. And things have to change in my living condition for me to catch up... least I feel that way. Sadly as it is, I need things to be a certain way before I can relax... and I'm still nervous about my dentist appointment on Friday.. (I thought it was tommorow)

When I have so much to do, I reach the end of the night and think... journal entry? Why? And yet I find something to note.. something to put down becase filling in those blanks means something to me. It means I've lived... and my records live on in their own right.

The way the keys feel.. late at night. The way the terminal looks when spending hours that I've lost track of. I've learned so much and at times I realize I need to enjoy how far I've come.. in order to appreciate the fact I still have so much further to go.

Notes Section


He has the SAME problem! Parser eh?

ParserBuilder    

Hello everyone!

I've used Eclipse and PHPEclipse in the past, and 
was able to get custom function documentation on 
hover. On my new install, I've been unable to, and,
 upon researching, realized that there's no pointer
 in my .project file. However, after fixing said 
problem, as well as rebuilding, I still had no hover
 help. I went looking in my install directory, and, 
realized that in both my feature and plugin directory, 
there is no net.sourceforge.phpeclipse.parserbuilder 
folder or file anywhere.

Thank you in advance for your help!


is this the answer?
http://www.phpeclipse.de/tiki-index.php?page=ParserBuilder

Mini-Adventures

2007-08-27T00:08:00.000-07:00

August 27, 2007 Monday 11:40 PM Mini-Adventures

Between Class and Still Kicking

It's amazing what can happen in those hour breaks between classes. I was walking through the campus food distro place (you know a food court like thing) It's called the Depo for those whom do not know. And I came accross Adrianna.

An older female whom I had seen scattered here and there in distant months. And on this day I walked and talked with her on the way to her office. She is a new teacher trying to earn her PhD here at HSU and teaching for the first time alone.

She spoke and I listened as we walked back to her office. Perhaps, This doesn't sound like an adventure to you. But meeting a somewhat stranger and following along as she explains her expereince was exciting and different.
I was glad to be there

Johns Plight

He is homeless. Sleeping where he can.
Attempting to stay creative follow his dreams. And worried about the lack of jobs for his time of skills in this county. This fellow has been here for a long while. I do not believe I can even imagine this place without this fellow.
His social impact is evident whenever one walks through the depo. His kindly and open manner has pulled many a HSU student towards his friendly direction and in turn has probialby left a bit of impact on each and every soul that has come his way.

A hardy volumous laugh and you know Johns somewhere with in 50 meters of your location.

And now he can't even finish as a student for he has no money to pay for the classes he needs. And on this day with no pay he tries to fix a broken computer for the Lumber Jack. (The school newspaper)
The real issue? There is no mac tech support for the HSU campus.

He does not get paid for this and yet he's out attempting to find anyone willing to help solve the problem. I happened to walk by on my route back from the CDC (Course Ware Development) where I spoke of adding an Attendence Sheet Module to moodle (after speaking with Adrianna I realized it's need) Besides it shows ambition on my part.

I over heard the lack of support for macs as the help desk there turned him away. I tried to help. And was inspired to do more for the Lumber Jack.
Besides, I heard they wanted to do more with media. ;)

Notes Section

Doing good one day at a time.

First time IRC ZanQdo

Zombie Walk

2007-08-26T23:19:00.001-07:00

August 26, 2007 Sunday 1:24 PM Zombie Walk

Encyclopedia of Life!
WAtch it!

Ted Talks are always inspiring. They are good things to watch.

Zombie Walk

I've been hitting the code pretty hard today. Maybe not as hard as yesterday.. I've devoted almost the entire weekend to this.... well this and some bike rides to clear my head... which conseqently had a headache attached to it. I haven't been eating well enough ethier.. and I keep randomly feeling hungry but eating doesn't seem to help... very strange.
I hope that's not some kind of programmers syndrom, eh?

No Movies?
I know, it's been painful. I try to focus on production of other things.. and I have. I managed to compile blender and that was a big deal. Plus, I made strides to develope my coding skills and that is important for my trade... which at first I found myself at odd ends with.

At the begining I felt more compelled towards other topics.. but as I'm gradually getting better at the knowledge of compoiling and working through larger projects.... once that gets easier maybe I won't mind it so much... or maybe I'm growing more afraid of alternatives I may be forced into if I fail to learn as much as I can and demonstrate those skills.
....

It's late now and I need to get sleep before work, but I will note....
I sat out at dusk watching the veil of dark blue slowly engulf the sky. this was after my ride out despite my headache which pounded in concert with my heart... (I hope that's not a bad sign) I visited Larson's Park... a place complete with tensis courts and lights to turn on after it gets too dark out. The well kept courts are a stunning clash with the rest of the park grounds... much of which is old, worn and if it wasn't for such good construction I'm sure would be falling apart.

I sat on the top of the tower of metal bars and watched the sky fade away... what I felt there... couldn't be described in worlds... I wasn't thinking directly.. I was being.

Notes Section

Zombie Walk
refers to the way I felt
as I walked out aimlessly
and just existed.

I DID IT! Compile Blender!

2007-08-25T00:46:00.000-07:00

August 25, 2007 Saturday 3:14 PM I DID IT! What about a diagram mode.. that speeds the ability to get some location info without waiting for lots to download. So close and yet so far.... I DID IT! FINALLY!!

August 25, 2007, Saturday 7:22 PM I knew I had a good feeling about it.
This hails the first time I was able to COMPILE a LARGE OS project!!! non of that other small math librariy stuff... a Big BIG project!!! I'm excited... finally.. it's been so long since I've wanted to get this to compile.. and now I CAN!

It's funny... despite all the bad feelings I've been having lately... this really worked out. after so many months of trying to make things work... I finally did it... minus some support I have no idea what it does.. So not fully featured... but I'll figured out what is missing.. now it's time to read SOURCE! with purpose!

Notes Section


Linking program ==> 'blender'
/usr/bin/ld: warning -L: directory name 
(/Users/chrisstones/Documents/workspace/lib/darwin-6.1-powerpc/iconv/lib) 
does not exist
/usr/bin/ld: can't locate file for: -lIex
collect2: ld returned 1 exit status
scons: *** 
[/Users/chrisstones/Documents/workspace/build/darwin/bin/blender] Error 1
scons: building terminated because of errors.
snail$ 

Never give up... never surrender. .. I keep trying to 
compile blender. I think the nature of this error is 
promising though.... it's a linking issue. ;)

WAIT!!!
snail$ scons WITH_BF_OPENEXR=0

I compiled it!!!!!! it runs!!!!

Strangly enough I spend so many hours thinking about these development things that inspiration strikes me while I'm out and about...
I was browsing for movies at the local video store when the code for selecting and accessing the directories came to me...

That was about the time I decided to leave the store and bike home quickly so that I could type it out. I still have qualms about the way my code looks because I don't know how to handle certain aspects of the language. I'd have to have someone look at it.
But for now all I do is mark the spots.

I'd better not forget about those other software ideas... the hummer, and the echo distractor for stickam.
This entry really should be tricked out more due to the exciting nature of things... oh well.

Good Day

2007-08-24T02:32:00.000-07:00

August 24, 2007 Friday Good Day

Well I had a good day today... And thus concludes the first week of classes. A complete first week.

Spotting Zara

I thought about visiting with someone tonight. I thought about getting out there.. and at first I was thinking of other people but than I REMEMBERED Zara's Birthday! It's Zara's birthday and I have to go find her. So I biked out into the cloudy greyness of the day and heard she was on her way to a landrymatte. And so I guessed correctly... and was able to see her. And hang out to celebrate a bit of her birthday... which I found people had already made a cake for her.

It was fun. CARD games, card stacking, light joking commentary. And I made sure to leave before I overstayed my welcome. So, it was genearlly a success.

First Week of Last Semester???

Maybe maybe not.
Could be.
Lots of reading.. and I"m wanting to actually make sure I get to every class. Though if I take on a 499 I could receive a bad grade in one of my major courses and still get out free.

Classes were tended, books were bought, females were met. In all it was an exciting week. And I show many more people I knew than I ever thought I would see. So, it won't be so lonely afterall I guess.

My job teaches me a lot... and as I learn more and can accomplish more I feel better about going in. Like after a while I'll

Notes Section

Monaco 14.0 pt. with anti aliasing turned on looks
fairly good in the terminal. I'll try it out and
see if I want to keep it.

// get rid of blue Folder names
export LSCOLORS="Hxfxcxdxbxegedabagacad"
put in user folder
.bash_profile
;)

The New 12

2007-08-23T21:50:00.000-07:00

August 23, 2007 9:48 PM Thursday The New 12 10 o'clock is the new 12

I used to be able to be up later.. now i'm tired around 10 and it's all well and good since I have to go to bed in an hour to get up on time.

I really need to focus on time mangamgnet this smester and not have any distractions. I need to have my space to myself. It's clear to me.

My behavior was once get ready around 12 then in bed between 1 and 2 or much later. Bu those hours past 12 always had a distinct feeling. And now 'those' hours were slipped a bit futher up.
It makes for quite a different feeling.

Lost Touch

2007-08-21T22:44:00.001-07:00

August 21, 2007 Tuesday 10:31 PM Lost Touch And it's a shame

I like good places to spend time at. I realized as I walked about today... I want to work on cutting edge material in the new 5 story building. I'm high up.. I can see far and I'm getting to browse new ideas and explore new avenges of thought. I like to work out mathematics up there.

And for old style thoughts, for old arts such as philosophy and history? I go to the oldest place on campus... The Founders Hall Court Yard. Only.... its not the same. There was once a nicer place to sit. There once were nice benches.. to match a delightful lighting, and temperature and style... but no longer any nice place to sit. My reading suffered .. my nostalgia suffered... and I realized this could no longer 'be' one of my favorite places. ..
The feel was wrong.. all wrong. I've lost touch with this place I once enjoyed so much.
I once described the place in an older post...

"I must have felt grateful.
The way I sat down on that bench in the middle
of Founders Hall Courtyard. Great sitting location
by the way. The wooden boards ease in a little and it
fits more like a ridged hammock than a wooden bench."

Me NOT enjoying the new hard stone benches. The old wooden ones had enough give... these do not. And they have destroyed the feel of a place I once loved.

When Joy's happy..

I'm happy.

First Day of Class

2007-08-20T23:35:00.000-07:00

August 20, 2007 Monday 11:19 PM First Day of Class
No Shirts?

No one understands that I need uninterruption to function. I need to control ALL of my space and not have distraction. In all the fuss I've managed to leave my most of my shirts behind and I'm upset because the very nature of the thing is unlike me.
I can keep things clear just find if I'm allowed to myself.
Just fine.

See, now I don't feel like writing about how I felt about other things today. It was first day of classes. ...

I suppose those things include seeing a couple of people I knew. It was exciting in a sub sort of way. And standing on the 5th floor of the new building is always a good feeling.

Social Halt

2007-08-19T23:13:00.001-07:00

August 19, 2007 Sunday Social Halt
I think I understand my need to be alone... better.

See, during the day I can be out in the world.. (outside of my room) And out there I can interact improvi-socially. I'm on.. or if I'm not on I'm more 'on' than I would be if I wasn't out there. So, my actions are being judged.. questioned... and I have a sense of being on stage to take a metaphor for example.

Now, if I come in from outside the social world 'stops'... least relative to me. I can relax. I can be depressed with out being questioned I can be angry alone, I can cry I can just sit and zone and no one exists in the immediate space to make any of it into a big deal.
Socially.. I'm safe. There's no social plane crashes no worries over relationships and I have sanctuary for all my creativity and the feel of freedom.

The loss of which I feel as an irritating scratchy feeling.
If I am still connected to the outside when I'm here its in a much more controlled fashion. Communication is received and replays are thought out before sent. If I choose to go live I can choose to stop with no one to question me. I have control.

The point remains that regardless of the social world continuing on out there without me is irrelevant. From my perspective it's an intermission that I deserve.
And if I don't get that.. If I don't wake up into it.. goto sleep with it and relax in it...
I go crazy.

Which explains why I've been feeling so overwhelmed and frustrated.

Easter Head example based on a slanted image. see?

By the way, the Archive OnLine Uploader actually works now. But my app broke.. but oh well.

Notes Section

I was given a warning about the next iLife update... 
they  obliterated
the usefulness of iMovie and integrated it into
the rest of your 'home movies'
Now, I don't make home movies.. it's clear Apple
want's me to transition over to a more expensive 
movie editing program.. 
What do I do? Eh? 

I'm glad I got the warning because
I can avoid the loss.. and keep what I have.
I'll be sure to do that.

Coding and Waiting

2007-08-18T00:08:00.000-07:00

August 18, 2007 Saturday 5:03 PM Coding and Waiting
Registry Code And Text Effects

I can not easily portray the text effect I created with my own python blender script. It looks like the typing letters effect only now that I've programmed it into blender I have complete control and I can go much futher with the effect than others. So, it doesn't look like much now.. But it will be.
Seems as though the Archive isn't working for uploads. Maybe there isn't a quota on images on the blogger image account after all if there is I'll soon find out.

8:46 PM
WAIT I've been thinking about this all wrong. I shouldn't be focusing on someone not being here... but trying to enjoy the fact I have them to hold. A simple realization helps. ... it really does. But it's easy to forget when one gets wrapped up in the backward lonely way of thinking... even if it would be much simpler.

-->

Indescribable

2007-08-17T01:01:00.000-07:00

August 17, 2007 Friday Indescribable

It is an indescribable feeling I have as I fly down the road while sun soaked wind whips my hair. It was the first time in a long long while that I was speeding down to school on bike and I enjoyed the motion, the temperature, the sky, the sun and the sights that passed by as I road.

The mission was to collect books for classes and to drop off applications for work at the library. I locked my bike and struted in with all the confidence a 5th year college student should have.
I know what I'm doing.

I thought this as I stood amoung crouds of the nervous, of the tense and of the excitables. The Finacial Aide center was think of worry and long lines of semi-desperate students... I was glad I was not one of them. I stood relaxing waiting in the line for my card sticker, my stamp that says 'Yes YOU are enrolled here'

And so it went. I moved easily through my self orienting tactics and climbed the stairs to the third floor of the newly erected BSS building. Upon my arrive I found my adviser in her office helping another student.
I was once that student.. but no more.
I spoke with confidence that only comes from knowing I'm at the end. I spoke with the excitment of challenge near completed, and of new projects I wanted to set myself on.

...

So why then...
Was I so glumy today? So depressed when I found myself home and of all things 'not' alone? I don't now. Perhaps, all through the summer I kept telling myself I was going to have time alone. Time to get back into my usual produceing-mode.
But no.
It was/is not to be. Least, not yet anyway. For some reason, I can't work unless things are a certain way. I need to be able to have control of my envirnment and my space and free from interuptions to work.
I kept telling myself all summer that I would get that time.... but it would appear it has all left me. No more time.. just classes and work now. I've lost it all and I was unhappy.

But it doens't matter. I should get over it. I still tell myself that someday... soon I will have 'my' time. Someday....

Please get here.

Or else maybe I'll be forced to realize that I need to morph into the kind of person that can get things done regardless.....

Back

2007-08-16T23:18:00.000-07:00

August 16, 2007 Thursday 10:53 PM Back BACK On Line

I've been writing off line for so long I've lapsed on what it was like to post. Now that my set up is back I can handle the original schedule... Just haven't gotten back into it yet.

Polar Program

What I like about this was that i finally got the wave forms next to the polar graphs. That was nice... I've always wanted to do that.

OFF WEB

2007-07-08T02:33:00.000-07:00

I'm off web for a month. 
The state of web posting has been 
influx lately.

I require things to be calm and orderly but
with all that has been going on 
I can't settle and post nor work
for that matter.

**

2007-06-27T23:50:00.001-07:00

June 27, 2007 Wednesday **** ************ ******** ******

Motorola RAZR
"It should be noted that the V3m is artificially crippled by Verizon Wireless"

This post was originaly to be viewed but upon certain responses will be with held. To those whom know the trick read on regardless.

I FEEL Bad.

2007-06-26T21:56:00.001-07:00

June 26, 2007 I FEEL Bad.

That was for most of the day.. but it got better...
I guess.

Continuing to model this head from scratch. Can't yet seem to get the smoothing down on the skull but I've made lots of progress in my modeling skills anyway.

Rendered out with SSS for that health skin like shine.

Feel bad?

I wish I coudl say I have no idea why. But I think I do. And I think I have inner turmoil. About interpersonal relationships and and obligations. Not to mention the dentist didn't phone back. Now, I have to clear up whatever other mess there is. And double check that insureance will work.

I feel incapable of preforming normal academic functions or perhaps I was going to make calls that I am afraid to. And thoughts remain thoughts but do not transform into actions. What could pull me out of it?
For one actually tending to things rather than wait might help. But if I hold out long enough some other aspect of my my brain will tick over and put my mind on other matters.

Probabily not the best thing to hope for. And another task that must be done revolves around planning the trip home. And settting up (wishing to) set up the computer her to be loginable from LA. Least, I've worked on some cleaning of the machine.

I'm concerned about finding work. I know I have that CDC job in the fall, and I've improved my web skills a bit more... but other areas are neglected. I haven't even gotten out to that Wireless company... there was no response to any e mails (of course) no one listens to those in job searches apparently.

"Human beings should not be associating with any country"

If it doesn't look good

Web developers alwyas have to mess with bug fixes to catch up old lagging browsers. Wouldn't it be nice to simply say to the end user that they are using the wrong browser? Rather, than to fix up the site for their 'wrong' browser to make the page look good?
Personally, I think a good looking page should look good on the code level as well. And lots of extra browser dependent fixes 'DO NOT' look good.

I wonder...

Are primes important because they are the orthogonal basis for the natural numbers?

Notes Section

The Bio Fuel Hoax

Could many tiny remote eyes be merged
into one? Using photo stitching
software? So each eye doesn't have to
have a very high res?

Justice in Alabama?

Now that is a good idea

I always wondered about this problem.
My PNG's were never that great when 
viewed on the PC and now I get it.
PNG Gamma Thing

Fuel Cells at HSU

MoBlogging
I wanted to be able to do this on 
the way down.

Funny Funny.

How do you like the page
now Daniel?

June 25, 2007

2007-06-25T22:40:00.001-07:00

June 25, 2007 Monday 12:19 PM

Cleaning my harddrive is like...
... druging the ocean floor.
you never know what your getting
Till you look

Cleaning my harddrive is like
And archeological dig.
Without the civilization part
Class Today

Class today featured a Registored and professional nurse (the teacher) moving onto a bit of tangent on how non-perscription drugs such as Tylenol when used daily perhaps for years can damage the renal system. I suppose it was a good thing that I always turn down medicines... if I can live without taking it.. than I'm not taking. Course the whole vitamin study thing has got me confused on other aspects of supplements for living.

Eternally Lucid

Lucid Dream Forever?
If you kept the brain tissue alive and made sure to qwell the pain receptors what would it be like? Suppose you had no outside input? Or perhaps just visual input? I sat in class at the very beginning and thought about it. Would it go crazy and still not be able to tell anyone that it wanted off. Would that be hell? Or would it be a lucid dream? ... forever.

Notes Section

Funny Town Names

Here's some motivation to call the dentist.
(I'm not saying I have it but
I'm sure a bit cleaner about things) Dental Abscess

Sub Surface Scattering

2007-06-24T00:30:00.000-07:00

June 24, 2007 Sunday Sub Surface Scattering

Two Clicks to a Face Lift

Not an actually lift, but I pressed two extra buttons and suddenly my model had a much more realisitc and soft quality to it. Subsurface Scattering added that brilate touch of realism I always wished I could get and the application along with one of the skin1 presents was astonishing.

End Game Yet?

I've seen so many atrocities in so many forms via documentaries and other what nots. I wonder as time goes by what the final inevitable picture of the world will be? I keep thinking about the dynamic nature of activism. The fact that if one ponders their changing role say if I were to rise through some company would the resulting picture of the world through the information I am to learn change my behavior? And if so.. by how much?

I was viewing the documentary "The Corporation" for the 3 or 4th time but this time with a friend. She was getting up set but I remained some what disassociated with it and with reality for that matter. I suppose the complete picture I get is giving me pause to contemplate what I should really be doing with my time.

I was starting to wonder if this all was a hopeless fight. And perhaps I should change plans. But probably not the one where I have this fuzzy 'don't assume you'll live past 30 or 40' idea I get from time to time. Now there's a tactic.
Assume a shorter live expectancy and then proceed to enjoy the indulgences.

Notes Section

Command J and then check Calculate ALL sizes
This should help locate the largest 
files in which to examine thus increasing the 
likeliness that you will free space.

(slightly rounded break down)
1 GB is
1000 MB
1 MB is 1000KB
1 KB is
1000 bytes

1,000,000,000 Bytes
So 1 Gig is 1 Billion Bytes
yum

Farewells

2007-06-23T23:14:00.001-07:00

June 23, 2007 Saturday Farewells

Seldom do I bring my models all the way to a nice render. But when I do... I suppose the work can be better appreciated. Though spending more time to learn lighting techniques would help a lot... genearly I'll get one project nicely lit and then copy that project file and use it as I would virtual art cabinet for display purposes.

Lizzie And Joy say good bye to each other.

Notes Section

Very Helpful info on Radiosity in Blender

Best Moment of Day

2007-06-22T14:01:00.000-07:00

June 22, 2007 Best Moment of Day

Big Thought of Day

I was thinking about the way faster computers enable us to 'see' aspects of the world more clearly. I began to think about a way to visualize how the increase of speed helps to view more with some sort of sequential graphics. One of the ideas was to use a yafray ray traced scene under different conditions to demonstrate the level of clarity revealed through more and more calculations.

I ran into problems in breaking down the idea into operations per second or total number of steps and how to relate it back to computational theory. So, the thoughts are fuzzy but the premise interests me. The more calculations the better you see BUT how fast, and how many calculations would it take to reveal other things? This was the question that captured my imagination.

How fast, how much for brain analysis? How much to convincingly replicate parts of reality in your brain. How much to process a simulation of your day? Can I make calculations about the calculations to enable me to guess just how much things would take? That is something I'd want to know.

Best Moment of Day

I laid on the bed in the cool temperature of the room. All windows were open and a slight breeze blew across my skin. It was ideallic in the soft light that shown in from the windows. I laid back and took it in gradually while my friend slept beside me. And I began to fall thinking about this moment of the day as so peaceful... so serene. It would rise up there with the other peaceful ones I experience from time to time. Those ones where the world recends and the worries slow to a still.
I save these moments of my life where I simply live.

Notes Section

Female verse Male live web cast room

5 to 7 viewers for female room
0 to 1 for same material in male room
And Brown Shirt
non control shirt yet



What percentage of people will leave
if they aren't here for flirtation?

SIGGRAPH has come a long way

Other live things

Live my life or yours?

2007-06-21T04:45:00.000-07:00

June 21, 2007 Thursday 7:09PM Live my Life or yours? Noise From Above

I re-enter my cozy apartment to the sound of something quite bassy invading from the ceiling. Someone up there enjoys subwoofing almost as much as a dog on a submarine. I fancy the idea of walking upstairs and asking them about it but I think any excuse I give isn't going to cut it. I like to work without noise and so simply covering up the sound with my own isn't going to work to resolve the issue. Outside of that I would normly be most impacted if I was actualy filming a movie and needed a clean soundtrack. I could walk up and ask them to turn down the bass but if I wasn't making a movie.. I suppose that wouldn't be fair.

It reminds me I should place the 'hello neighboors' cards on all the doors to see whom is actually living around here.

Flea on a Dog

I didn't mean to slam the thrill seekers, the fear overcommerings. I was listening to my friend talk about conquring a mountain through the act of climbing or conquring the sea through the act of surfing the waves. And I remarked it was irrational, and that I was more on the side of changing the envirnment as a show of power than simply being in it and doing something with it.

I had used the blantent metaphor of the climber on the mountain conquires no more than the flea that climbs on top of the dog does. It's pretty much a flea on a dog...? I didn't mean to hurt the feelings but the dicsussion lead into my general tendency to degrade what I am not competent in or see worthless.

It's happened with sports too. And if I'm forced to think about it I have to agree that seeing value in any activies beyound the central ones required for life is a matter of subjectivity. And so sports fill the same gap as other hobbies and may even have uses for bonding between members of groups or feeling proud to belong... but my Amygdala still places emotions in my mouth and I still sneer. Even though it appears hypocritical to have my cerebral cortex saying I should feel that sports are a waste my central emotion control is not easily swayed by such logic.

It's nice to know my hypocrisy has logical psychology so no one can say I'm being irrational. (As logical fallacy isn't there)

Live my Life or Yours?

I hate the values being placed on 'living life' actitives. Of course those are the ones like 'get out there and...' go sight see, skee, hike some mountains and what not. Get some risk into your life. Yeah okay, sure. Maybe I should be putting some of 'my life' into my life by demoing the fact I live to my values as best as I can and aspire to get closer. I live by incremintaly building upon and playing higher value on skills and growing projects to change the face of my existance as well as others.

Yeah live. But try not to skqander time speeding down hills. I can understand the family aspects. I can say the built in hormones and chemical puppety strings always have their way with people. But I for one will not be pushed around by those whom have decided 'living life' means doing all their other 'things'

It reminds me of those people whom claim I simply "have to go see the mountain" in person.
"Look at how beatufil it is"
They have already assumed Nature = Beatuy
Couldn't I differ? I've looked at melted bowls of chocolate and vannilla ice cream that look cooler than that mess of rock sitting their annoying me. And there are far fewer mosquito bites involved.

Now I exaggerate to make the point. I don't feel 'that' against the sites... But you get the idea. Put in my Place

I was put in my place by the cell phone dealer guy at the Sprint shop. He made sure to state he was part of the Certified MS Developer after I walked into some sort of mac verse pc dispute. It was sort of a statement of "I'm an expert and your not" I didn't realize as it was happening but later in the car I thought to myself what had happened. (As often as realizing after the fact happens with me)

You HAVE to see what this is about!
READ the part about Verizon Wireless User Interface & Software Petition

I needed a style for notes.
Since I'm trying to seperate 
writings that have a bit more 
thought from that which does not.

It's simply the other half of keeping this file alive. I make notes about what I find so that I may return to the ideas. Chronologically I can see where concepts first began and how often I returned to them.

Cell Phone

2007-06-20T01:01:00.000-07:00

June 20, 2007 Wednesday Cell Phone
Guess what came today?

Note Section

Saw Candice in the store the other day.

Math: Created? Or Discovered? I felt I was failing to get accross my ideas. Then I recently came up with how I really felt... And it's we create chess but we discovered the tactist and boards states that were now possilbe. I think it captures both camps of philosophical thought.

RV with Ellen
Joy On LIve Chat
Face Modeling

Storage Check

The PUrisut of Happieness
The Corperations
Grave of the Fireflys

Ouch. Take that Constitution. But the 'truth' may be different..
Comment from digg article about it..

"If I had to guess, I'd say this guy was probably being a condescending non-conformist prick towards an officer with a napoleon complex. Most likely pushed the cop out of the way, in what he considered to be a non-threatening manner, and the cop who was embarrassed in front of his partner over-reacted, as napoleon complex cops typically do.

Did the guy deserve to be tased? No way. Did he act in the calm and restrained manner that is portrayed in the article? No way. The truth likely lies somewhere between his story and the cop's story."

But how will everyone know in the future?
Course someone mentions this...
"You *can* see both sides of the stories... on the right side there are links to the photo evidence and POLICE NARRATIVES. How is that biased?"

Oh my god that is funny.

Some Days Just Want to be Bad

2007-06-19T22:27:00.000-07:00

June 19, 2007 2:46 PM Some Days Just Want to be Bad

I try to prevent them but they just keep trying. I try to forget about the feeling of a teacher singling me out in class to add some theatrics to her frustration of lack of attendance. Least that's my theory. I try to forget the fact it made me uncomfortable for the remainder of the class and then some when we go out for the gardening demo and the presenter bitingly reminds me the plant name is in the packet.

Yeah I wasn't in the best mood after leaving... and it tainted the feel of getting to walk through the new Behavior Science Building. BSB for short I suspect. I walked while trying to shrug off those feelings I had acquired during class. Not really possible entirely... But once I was there...

I looked up at the new mason work and sleek boxy look. I don't believe I'd be able to describe the place fully as I was simply impressed by the 5 stories and great view I found on the top floor overlooking all of Arcata and then some. It's my new favorite place. I thought to myself. The view beat Founders Hall by a mile. And from that stand point one can see up over the trees and feel like your important.

This is a view. I thought while standing and leaning over the railing a bit. This is the sort of outdoor patio I like. Having slab of wood surrounded by forest at ground level didn't cut it for me. If I want to be outside I'd better get a fantastic view. And that's final.

I remarked to myself about how this building was the one stop shop for all my graduate needs. If only this wasn't the final year. This place housed philosophy, mathematics, computer science and psychology... I think. Maybe not psychology and there are certainly other social sciences that fill out the rest of the 5 floors but that is clearly the building to be in. I also started muttering about how this is all in as I leave the school. What a shame. Now I have to do graduate work just to get to be here. It is bond money after all and the way the California system is set up it means students will foot the bill in the future.

After that little cheer up trip I noticed my hip popping out a bit as I walked up some hills back towards my bike. This was not good. I could feel the popping as I walked with one hand on my hip joint and feeling that sinking this is going to be trouble feeling come over me. I had fallen pretty hard at the skating rink a few days ago. And my hip was hit pretty hard.

I try not to let the day be bad as I try to figure out what kind of day I'm having. But I can't seem to place it. As I ride home feeling the wind cool off my face and body I pretend this day is a person continuing to ask to be a bad day. It so wants to. Maybe I'll just let it...

fighting it is such hard work.

Why is this post written better?

I made a note in class that says, "Artistic Moments" and thought about the style of my page deserves better writing even if better writing takes more time. It's the time issue that had me deciding I could merely pick out a few simpler moments of the day and write them. But write them better.

This is not with out trade off. And I still want to use the place for quick notes but why not make an effort while I can? I still need quick notes but I can separate them from the better writing... course this place was never intended for good writing.... I have yet to whip the other blogs into a delightful shape. But that... is a dish best served soon.

From Wired Magizine. "Ultimately, this is about intimacy -- how much of ourselves we're willing to give away to strangers. Personally, I enjoy being able to construct identities carefully in text; that's because I grew up with text as my main online mode. It's possible that the impending generation of gamers will simply find voice chat more natural, in the same way that teenagers today happily blog about their personal lives and post pictures and videos of themselves. They regard personal revelation not as an incursion of privacy but a marker of authenticity."

Quotes from a differnte page... "If you introduce reality into a virtual world, it's no longer a virtual world: it's just an adjunct to the real world. It ceases to be a place, and reverts to being a medium. Immersion is enhanced by closeness to reality, but thwarted by isomorphism with it: the act of will required to suspend disbelief is what sustains a player's drive to be, but it disappears when there is no disbelief required."

I really need to seperate quick notes 
from entry 
from quotations...

and when I 'need' pre tags why not
use when necessary?

What has brought on this beautification process? I don't know but it's still going. Maybe if I do my job rigth people won't bounce off as soon as they enter the site.

Edgy

2007-06-18T00:47:00.000-07:00

June 18, 2007 Edgy New Release verse Recent Release?

I'm in the tape store with my skender fish and we are looking for a particular movie... and not seeing it until we go up to the clerk and ask. Its suppose to be in the New Release section... I thought I was looking in that section.. Appearnlty I'm looking in the Recent Release Section... Oh According to them recent comes before new... go figure.

One of the best moments was seeing Sarah at the Depo and getting to see her new notepad computer while I ate my sandwitch. I got to write using the electronic stylis and was quite impressed at the design. Very nice.

Before I was on my way home.. I very nearly entered the library to find a quantum mech book again.. but decided to wait until I had my class paper done. Which strangely enough is about procrastination.

Currenlty there's too many people around.... it makes me edgy and notice I'm getting hung up on little motion things that distract me. Could it be the Touretic compulsive tendencies flaring again? I wonder why?

Untitled

2007-06-17T14:54:00.000-07:00

June 17, 2007 Sunday Untitled

My journal is looking a little different these days. Perhaps, much more ... shall we say readable? Why yes, I have taken the time to tweak little issues and decided to write with the use of extra html flags and adjust style to fit traditional paragraphs and indentations...
I also found a document that told me justification (while nice in tradiation formats) makes things much harder to read on web pages. Go figure.

What I like the most is that there is a command that indents the first line
text-indent: 2em;
Does the trick and I was happy to see it.

I figure, it was about time I made the page... readable rather than just easy for me to write... You see I add tags as I type my entires and I just didn't want to deal with adding and as I write but I'm beginning to enjoy the wrapping to page rather than having to scroll. As I'm sure others enjoy a good wrap much more.

The really funny part was someone had thought I took pride in the page... that really wasn't true as I had often grit my teeth at the formating.. It just was a while before I fixed it.
And got off my ass and wrote in the proper html tags

The site that tells me justification is bad.

If I claim to be a web designer I should at least have a site that is designed well enough to make people think I have something to say. So, before I did the whole 'here's how to design a nice page' I need to make my page look good.

I fell pretty hard the other day when I was at the skating rink and it is still a bit sore. I haven't fallen that hard in a long long time. It really woke me up. It reminded me of when I first started to learn to skate on inline blades. I fell pretty hard a lot of times. I was just getting comfortable with it this time adn that is when it happened. I was skating backward and fell. Too fast and too little control.

Let's hear it for the Prefrontal Cortex Did you hear the one about the rail road worker and the metal bar in his head? He was a changed man! And to think that this one bit of brain matter could matter so much. Ouch.

The end of belief in things? Death of Santa
Good or bad... you decide.

This is much more scary... Americas War on Science

I sat nearby while a younger friend was myspacing and then suddenly asked if things were plugged in... They're like, "Yeah, additional plugins required" And I laugh to myself. It's not about the cords plugged in it's about browser plug ins!

What I'd like to do someday

Nice to know ZeFrank has something to say about my paper on procrastination.

By Roads

2007-06-16T14:53:00.000-07:00

June 16, 2007 By Roads

By Roads

Sometimes big choices need to be made. And sometimes those big choices come with big consequences. Or at least we often perceive them to be big consequences. Though I feel the world is a deterministic one, I also feel the blindness brought on my the chaos of it all. Chaos isn't really 'chaos' as far as chaos theory is concerned the world follows the rules but that doesn't mean that you will be able to preform all the calculations necessary to give you a picture of the future. In that case, you can only see a few moves ahead at any given point in your life.

Given this lack of foresight choices become scary beasts. And choices about relationships become stormy oceans full of uncertainty and self-doubt. One only has him or her self to look to for the real answers to the questions. Even though talking to those whom are more experienced helps it doesn't not replace the chaos of the world. In which case, I am still alone but maybe armed with a flash light to see a little further in the dark.

In my time, I have often claimed myself to be lacking in the interpersonal communication arena. ... This isn't entirely true as I have found out more and more in the past year and them some. Actually, I have some small skill to spin conversations and amuse those whom spend the time to listen in. The thing I was running from much have been the perceived consequences of what a good interperson I could be. More often, I have spent a great deal of my time finding ways to make a life lived alone manageable.

I suppose fessing up to the facts after so many years of trying to get away from them takes a bit of self courage. It's not that I don't believe I can make a way for myself alone but the fact I didn't think I had much of a choice before... Until now. And that's where the choices arrive. They come to my door and knock a bit harder. Answering them forces me to re-contemplate a couple of things.

I can find someone. I can chose. There are options... but taking them will hurt someone or another. And that was one of the central reasons I've avoided the questions for so long. I had only ever wanted to live a more peaceful life free of the normal dramas that plague what I perceived as the rest of the mass of the population. Still, I am not so sure I'd like to join the ranks of those whom come to the slaughter willingly... but I've often wondered if I could get a better seat.

Even if that means I might fall into the arena.

It is in these times that I contemplate walking down a different road. It's something I should do before to much more time passes as the road isn't nearly as nice to walk down in later years. (So I would think) Regardless, if and when I'm starting to feel like I should walk. If not the whole way.. than just a little bit... to say I did. And to see if I'll keep going.

Tactical Vagueness? It's delightfully cryptic yet a bit artistic. And even if you don't get the full story your left wondering what the full story is.
*byroad - a side road little traveled

Tactical Vagueness

2007-06-15T01:11:00.000-07:00

June 15, 2007 Saturday Tactical Vagueness Daniel's Re-Rant

I hear by re-rant for the amusement of others: You need to put forth the evidence and logic of your ideas, otherwise you just come off like an angry hippy complaining about how some "they" is destroying the world. The question is not what the worlds problems are. The question is, why are people not taking the seemingly obvious solutions solutions to them? - Daniel

I'm glad I didn't chuck the router given that it actually worked right away this time. Phew! I can't believe it.. it seems it just all falls into place.

One might say it's a sort of tactical vaguness I use here. It's a bit of a code to jog my memories without writing anything directly. Viewed in that light, it may come off as bad writing but it has a purpose.

I'm worried about my friend again. She's having a hard time. And there isn't anything I can do really.

By the way, the Safari bug really isn't 'fixed' in the way I would like it to be fixed. I just broke down and added tags.

And this time too.

I'm Told

2007-06-14T23:40:00.000-07:00

June 14, 2007 Thursday 1:45 PM I'm Told

This place is actually managmed quite well..
so far as anyting written on the maintaince sheet
got taken care of no questons asked.
I was impressed.. and I also was suprised to see
how much fixing the blinds made me feel better.
That half of the room looks much nicer.
I'm glad I was here to get the call.

I've been moving through the old external harddrive
and finding old movies.... that I can convert and
post.
The Missing Essay was fun to watch again.
And I found the Nora iMovie file in which all I
have to do is replace the music and then i can post
that trailer.
Nice.
I can be cleaning the harddrives off and be giving
myself stuff to post.

Still can't seem to fix the Safari bug.

7:00 PM
Things that need fighting for

and so forth..
Freedom to Photograph
...
Some good points in this one
Movie Plot Threats

I suppose if your a public figure you should
be public property? Well?
Recorded Search

I'm told

I spent 54 min on the phone with Daniel whom
amoung other things is talking to me about support
for those 'crazy' statements I was making about
teh stock market. (He even mentioned the distaste for
the pre tags which made me think twice about using
 tags for the future. ... In theory that
woudl solve teh Safari problem and line up my text
in the column.
... well maybe I will... but I love my textual
journal so much I wish I didn't have to switch.
I mean I've written 99% of it in pre tags.
I can only start from this point on.

Regardless, the real root of the issue
somehow came back to Irrational exuberance in which case the precieved value of
money is 'all in our heads' but that doesn't make
the use of a moneitary system any less useful.

I was also critized for letting my comment lose
audience through carelessness and the fact I
merely post my thought notes with out caring
how people reading it will perceive it.
This is sure to stop any hardy Chris World reader
from contining to read after realizing he's not
really talking to you.

But perhaps it is time to post a disclaimer about
the posts. And the real thought bender was
the question...

Who is my audience?

Well? Who do I write for?
I tried to explain I use this as off site storage
and to expose old ideas to new eyes as
an experiment. But that didn't sound good enough
for him.

...
Before I type more maybe I'll look into the break tag
Safari fix concept... blaw.

Dismantle?

2007-06-13T01:59:00.000-07:00

June 13, 2007 Wednesday 3:08 PM Dismantle?

In 3 days we find out if the free world is doomed.

My small slice in it
But get the full story at http://www.savetheinternet.com

It's funny how I get net back... then... I take a look
at this. I hope to keep the net. The way it is.

By the way, I think all corporation should be non profit.
No more 'for profit' clauses.
I don't even think stock holders should be allowed to 
buy and sell ownership. The stock market really appears to me
to be the only socially acceptable form of gambling. 
Sure, businesses need investment capital... but behave
like an owner and just accept the dividends will you
people?

If the stock market is okay should I just sell my job? 
Can workers swap themselves around on you? 



6:54 PM
My web page was broken for so long...
I was surprised to find a comment about the
word wrap problem. 
It seems Safari ignores the visibility CSS command.

I suppose the only way to fix the problem is to increase the
width and up the z value.

the real issue stems from the fact I write my 
journal text directly into html aka I write
out < a href="some_sort_of_link" code 
and I tell the computer to save the spacing by
using the preformating tags. <pre> and </pre>
It's a quick way for me to keep my
text looking the way it does in my text file.
(where the data always lives on)
But unfortunately it doesn't make for good website
development.

I can see what I can do though.

This sort of problem has a complicated history
Quirky isn't it?

With more searching it seems that
Safari plays by these rules
Safari CSS

In which case I can hunt for tags that should work... and perhaps
find the old tags I was using are outdated perhaps? I don't know
yet. 
But maybe... I just don't care about Safari enough in 
the end....

Course upon closer inspection I find the
Safari has just decided to hard wrap the text.


...

One main serius personal flaw
is the avoidance of certain things for trivial
reasons. I'll stay vague but I'll mention
procrastination while I've fought it isn't
something that is every completely gone.



Musical Hamsters? Someone shoudl dig ths link.


My friend from high school now has...
http://www.mortyscheinhorn.com/

Net Returns

2007-06-12T15:15:00.000-07:00

June 12, 2007 Net Returns

The Net Returns!
It does feel better to be able to communicate again.
I was really isolated for a bit.

A few days ago I showed my friend how to 
stop radio signals from reaching her cell phone
by placing it in a metal ammo box.
What I didn't mention was the principles behind
it. 
Faraday Cage


I'm wondering if I should just forget the whole ordeal and not post
the text of that week. 
I suppose I could quietly go about the rest of the days and just leave
one long blank in the middle.

Being able to return to the online world helps make me feel
empowered again. Also, a bit more out reached. All that stuff
about a computer that isn't connected is like inward reflection
was getting kind of old.


Will I fill in the blanks... ? I don't know
anymore.

Off Net?

2007-05-30T00:30:00.000-07:00

May 30, 2007 Wednesday 6:53 PM Off Net?


GOING OFFLINE?

My net access may be sparatic for a bit.
This doesn't mean I won't be writing.
Just not getting to post.

We'll see what happens.

Signed,

The Management.


CO

In your face Daniel, the Carbon Monoxide
detector 'did' go off and I did get a headache
at the time. I guess it is a pretty good thing
I'm cautious. 




North American Union?
Wha?


...
Net Censorship? the world over.
Perhaps, it is a bit nieve to think that you can access information
anywhere in the world via the net. Considering, many many people still don't
ahve clean solid access... I enjoy a sort of elite image of the world I 
download. .... Will this ever change?

....
different note..
Strong anonymity has it's place.
FreeNet

Richard Dawkins

Ouch Isn't Enough

2007-05-29T00:43:00.000-07:00

May 29, 2007 Tuesday 5:40 PM Ouch Isn't Enough

I've mentioned this before...
Hangar NO. 5
I think the music really works for it.

5:43 PM
I can feel it writh with in me.
The tension the annoyance the lost, the anguish.
It hurts to so your place taken over. 
It hurts to see what was once sanctuary be
destroyed at the hands of others.
Has not happened yet... but soon enough....
The thought lodges in my brain the way
a dagger sticks in a heart.

The word "ouch" just doesn't cut it.

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